To feel nothings left for average families

[Aubrystrawberry]

I fully support the vunerable and elderly getting special times to shop and think it's great that some supermarkets have kept slots for them. But.... Is anyone else feeling like it's a catch 22 for families? Especially ones with kids.

I have managed to get one slot in April through Asda. It was pure luck! I have children aged 2 and 4. My partner's still working all week and he's worried about catching this virus like the rest of us. We are trying to stay home because I'm anemic and don't know how dangerous it would be as I've been quite poorly. It's not recognised as a huge problem but I've read that we don't have enough red blood cells. (I've made another post on this)

Anyway I've just been on Asda to try add a couple of things on and see how much is now out of stock. It says I'm not allowed to amend until 2 days before it's delivered now. Fair enough. But for god's sake.

I've been on Iceland this morning and they put up a bright red warning that if I'm not elderly or vunerable there are no slots.

Morrisons said they have no slots at all anywhere.

Sainsbury's the same.

Tesco's the same.

I went on Amazon to try do a pantry shop. Nothing on there.

Luckily I get milk delivered. But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time.

What do they expect from people? We are slagged off if we dare take a child or two in shops. We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook. People are taking pictures of people trying to get them in trouble for being irresponsible. I'm trying to be responsible and keep the kids indoors and us out of germy shops with mucky trolley handles. But I'm being told on all supermarket websites we should go to the store If we can.

I am not sure how many more weeks this is going on for, but like many others we don't want to risk getting this virus so we want to stay home.

I guess there's nothing we can do. But I think the elderly and vunerable have had a fantastic amount of help and support as they have special times to shop, slots online, volunteers shopping for them. It just feels like families are being treated like vultures for wanting to feed their kids.

Also I didn't panic shop and now I wish I did!

I’ve moved in with my parents, both elderly and vulnerable, we are ‘shielding’.

They are on the GOV.UK vulnerable list. We managed to get a slot for Monday at 2pm, it opened up on Sunday at 10:45pm.

It arrived with 17 (out of 28 products) substitutions, barely any substitutions that were suitable

Murray mints in place of sugar free sweets for my diabetic day (ok, he doesn’t need sweets but it would have been a nice treat)
One 150ml pot of fruit yoghurt in place of a litre of natural yoghurt, again dad couldn’t eat it.
4 2ltr bottles of regular coke in place of Diet Coke, for dad, no one else will drink it.
6 eggs in place of 12 because 2 cartons of 6 would be more expensive than the 12.
Oranges instead of lemons, mum is tube fed and warm Water with lemon juice is the only think she drinks.
Ham in place of chorizo, will work great in our paella!
3 large boxes of cereal replaced with small sugary/honey cereal, dads breakfast that he cannot eat.

We couldn’t use any of the substitutions but new rule (that is apparently clearly stated on the web site, I couldn’t find it any where) they are not accepting return of the substitutions so £25 wasted (the dog ate the ham! I ate the yoghurt, one of our neighbours is taking the coke in exchange for 2 lemons and another neighbour took the rest of the stuff we couldn’t use to take for the food bank)

So if you do get a slot, don’t forget to click no substitutions if it needs to be exactly what you need.
We got cheap kitchen towel instead of plenty.
Not fairy liquid.
Not dettol.
Not walkers crisps.
Which are all ok and do the job.

No dentastix.
No peanut butter
No vanish
No diabetic chocolate (now Cadbury’s would have been fine but no, didn’t send that!)

We did get most meat, veg and fruit that we ordered.

So it’s not all sunshine and roses for those who are getting a slot.

Sorry, but I genuinely fail to see the problem here. Two grownup healthy (anaemia is not a risk factor) people can't manage to buy some food for the family? How is this even a problem?

1. Leave the kids with the husband and go to shop yourself
2. Stay with kids and let your husband do the shopping.

It's really that simple, hardly rocket science.

I'm a single mother (of one, though). And I don't drive. What do I do? Well, exactly the same as I always did, pre-covid too. I WALK TO THE SHOP USING MY LEGS. I prefer to see the things I'm buying, so I always went to shop myself, don't like online food shopping. Ok, pre-covid I used come home with a taxi, if I did a larger shop. I'm skipping the taxi bit now and have to carry it myself, so I bought a shopping trolley and a large backpack, and I manage. There's only 1.5 of us (me and a 7 year old) and we manage. If you have a car, then it's much easier.

Just go to the shops, seriously. There's absolutely no reason to avoid it. Your husband is still going to work and can bring the covid home from there.

Hear but who are all the ‘organisations* you expect to be running all this? These are exceptional, unprecedented times, there just isn’t time for DBS checks, Safeguarding policies etc etc.

I am glad that I live in a community where we trust each other, where we use our initiative to solve problems. I have been donated huge amounts of fresh food from local businesses that have closed down, they didn’t have time to ‘check my credentials’, they trusted me to share it out with vulnerable people - which obviously I did - the alternative would be the food was left to rot. Which would you prefer?

In my Borough the council & the local voluntary sector Trust has jointly coordinated the recruitment of volunteers. All volunteers are DBS checked furloughed staff such as NGO workers, teachers, TA's etc.

Ragwort

Who do I expect - existing organisations - red cross, salvation army, churches, the armed forces...

Sorry, but I think you are very naive to throw away safeguarding and work on trust.

Again, how are the housebound meant to pay for the shopping that these volunteers are buying for them?

And yes, a pandemic is unprecedented but surely local authorities have major incident contingency plans in place for scenarios where the infrastructure is at risk?

If you're in the South Èast this lot are delivering. Great selection of fruit, veg and herbs plus some basics at decent prices

www.osolocal.com

Also check out your local Facebook pages and groups - lots of businesses like pubs, hotels etc are ordering food from their wholesalers and passing on to the public. A pub near me is doing this on next day delivery, which is great.

If you're not in Facebook, join it to find local info on this. It's made all the difference to us.

FazakAli

That sounds very sensible.

Just go to the shops, seriously. There's absolutely no reason to avoid it

There absolutely is. Avoid shops to avoid infection if you possibly can.

Yabvu
You have lots of options.
I, and many others in the shielding group can't get online delivery slots, so what makes you think you should have one?
You cannot shopping, your husband can go shopping. We can't leave the house for 3 months

Ahh thanks @Lynda07, for your good wishes, that's very kind I'm resting loads. It really doesn't allow you to do much, it appears to abate but then gives you another 'surge' of symptoms! I'm so bored!!

It's amazing you got a slot at Iceland wow, it's obviously worth persisting maybe I'll try again tonight! Take care of yourself as well x

@wonkylegs, I must say maybe I'm guilty of having been a supermarket snob since it seems there are lots of little independent companies around that I haven't even bothered to get to know heard of either!

In the town where I live, and the town where my mum lives in another county, there are dozens and dozens of local shops, garden centres, cafes, butchers and bakers who are offering delivery of boxes of groceries. There are more places offering food than people want or need.
The takeaways are offering to add bags of pasta, rice, toilet rolls etc to your order.
If you don’t want to go shopping, just get creative. I was worried about my mum going out shopping if she couldn’t get a delivery slot at the supermarket, so I phoned the corner shop near her house, and they agreed to take her a box of food.

You're lucky to be a two-parent household so despite your health issues you're still way better off than a single.parent.

Mmmm, I sort of know what you mean, but I don’t think it is actually a reflection on the reality.

You’ve got a slot and your DP can go shopping. But of course he’s already had quite a lot of possible exposure via going to work should he then be going out shopping to and further increasing that. You could go on an eve though when he gets back? FWIW my Mum (much to my annoyance) went yesterday said it was so quiet and our local Sainos was being very strict and she got everything on her list bar tinned toms. We’ve made up our shopping by local farm shops and mail order specialist food suppliers, plus we always have a well stocked freezer anyway. But I appreciate we are in a financial position where we can do that. Many aren’t. I would have a Facebook of your local businesses though if you don’t want to go out, and you’re quite within your rights to not want to, this virus can be dangerous to people outside of the vulnerable brackets also, so of course you don’t want to do anything you see as risky. However I don’t think it’s that the elderly or vulnerable are getting all the slots, they’re struggling too - I think it’s more the retailers a couple of weeks ago went into abject meltdown and are still recovering.

Going back to your point about being made to feel like vultures....I do know what you mean here, some of the strength of messaging from businesses is a)a odds with the stay home stay safe message and has b) made me feel a bit like what you’re saying, like it’s fine for everyone but the elderly and vulnerable to thrown to the viral wolves as it were. But it isn’t like I said this virus can be dangerous to all, why would anyone feel comfortable being put in a position where they might catch it. I don’t think anyone should be made to feel guilty about that. I have to toddlers two under 3, completely dependent, in nappies can’t do anything for themselves. Parents elderly, I keep thinking what the hell would happen to them if me nad DP got really sick. And what about single parents what are they supposed to do, I would feel very worried if i was on my own witg a baby or toddler at the moment.

OP I sympathise. I am extremely anxious regarding health matters and every time I have tried to go out for exercise etc I've had a complete breakdown. Managed to go out for 2 15 min walks and in the car to drop supplies off with my parents.
We managed to get an Ocado slot last week and I have never been so thrilled in all my life!
People need to realise that for some (especially those of us who have always online shopped) the thought of going out can be terrifying. People need to realise they need to be kind.
I've got stuff for at least 2 weeks but I'm panicking about what I'm going to do after that.

I agree being a single mum I'm avoiding physical shopping trips as much as possible. I can't afford to be ill being in charge of children soley. I've managed to get 2 slots over the next month and Tesco is the only shop that will allow me to do so. If Tesco also turns im favour of over 70s and vunerable only i don't know how we will get food or get it transported back home as i don't drive either. Got some dried staples on amazon and milk powder and keto bread mix amongst treats for kids. Im not going near the shops until every bit of food is consumed

Oh go away we need the slot just as much as anyone else. Moran You really don't OP. You have a capable husband or yourself. I have low iron blood pressure and all the rest, nothing life threatening. You really have no idea how much some people need those slots. Cope on.

@emerald

You don't need to go one above me to cancel out my situation.. You don't know anything about my health and how I feel. Well done to you though for being worse of than me and coping so much better. Blood pressure is a risk actually. Anemia is also due to having less red blood cells to fight an infection. The Dr can't give me anti inflammatory medication to help me because he said it will lower my immune system to this virus. Would you like a copy of the email? People really do think they are experts on here. Health is not a competition!

Health is not a competition!

No but sadly for you priority for food shopping is and you win by being able to tell your partner to do and lose by not being given extra allowances, that you don’t need, so you and your partner have to be responsible for feeding yourselves and your children.

May all your problems be this hard.

YABU. Unless your partner is working on an oil rig 1 can stay home with the kids. I understand you want to stay home and protect yourself but if your husband is out at work you're not actually doing that.

OP, are you going to explain why your partner is able to go to work but not able to do the weekly shop on his day off?

Op you arent on the medication that lowering your immune system though.

You only discovered you might be a risk when you read it on a support group, this morning. Just before you posted.

Now lots of medic back up?

Theres mo evidence anaemia puts you more at risk. Sounds like you are determined to get into the vulnerable category so your dp doesnt have to go shopping

It's not red bloods cells that fight infection, it's white ones. Red blood cells carry oxygen to cells. However, anaemia can lower your ability to fight infection. Maybe find out more about your condition and if you are at greater risk but get your dp to do the shopping.

Anemia is also due to having less red blood cells to fight an infection.

That's not what red blood cells do

I completely agree with you, I would love to have my shopping delivered so we don't have to go out but unfortunately there aren't enough delivery vans or drivers for the number of people who would like this service.

You are lucky that you have your ASDA slot, I would use that slot to order as much as you can, fill your freezer and cupboards so that you can go many weeks before you need to go out again.

As your DP is going out everyday anyway it makes sense for him to pick up essentials on his way home.

Also watch your portion sizes to make stuff last longer. My four year old is now on rations, only one yoghurt and one glass of milk per day to make things go further. We are only having a dash of milk in our tea and only one slice of toast for breakfast not two.