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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked DS’s school to stop calling us?

187 replies

Syncrows · 02/04/2020 09:19

I was very polite but they keep calling and to be honest it’s a little irritating.

I requested the other day and said I’d call if we needed anything but still the daily phone calls continue - AIBU?

OP posts:
SharonasCorona · 02/04/2020 15:48

Daily calls? That's insane. I can just barely manage daily calls with my mum and my boss.

FlamingoPoet · 03/04/2020 01:42

That’s weird. One of my DCs gets a Monday weekly call. One got a one-off call with a contact us if you need us approach (my favourite). My eldest, age 15 has had nothing. I think she got missed off a list. The others are getting work online. It’s very odd. I know I should probably chase it but I’m not sure they need to do school-led stuff.
YNBU. Would drive me potty

HavenDilemma · 03/04/2020 03:05

Yeah it sounds like they're concerned for your son for some reason. Perhaps they're asking to speak to you as they have reason to believe that he's being left at home alone??? Just a thought

Worriedmom2020 · 03/04/2020 04:12

We have daily emails, send photos etc. DC class yr 6 is having a zoom meeting after half term to catch up.

wibblewobblejiggle · 03/04/2020 07:40

@HavenDilemma He's 13. If he was being left home that's none of their business.
They can't actually do anything. They don't hold any power here. I'd just start ignoring calls. I don't answer from withheld numbers anyway.

ineedaholidaynow · 03/04/2020 10:17

The reason the number is withheld is that the teacher will be phoning from home or personal mobile.

I know the teachers from the school I am a governor for have been advised to withhold their personal phone numbers and only use school email address.

@FlamingoPoet what year group is your 15yo? If Y11 that might explain why you haven’t been sent work, if Y10 then you should be chasing school to check what their plan is.

Obviously different schools have different policies for contact with families. Our schools are currently revising theirs for over the Easter holidays for the vulnerable children.

wibblewobblejiggle · 03/04/2020 10:27

That's fine. But I still wouldn't answer. I would ignore and if they left a voicemail with a contact number I would consider calling that.
But otherwise nobody is obligated to take withheld numbers.

OutlandishBird · 03/04/2020 10:35

Are teachers really meant to be phoning? Not had a single call from any of my kids teachers... (I have 3)

Chamomileteaplease · 03/04/2020 10:42

Have you asked them why they are calling?

Rather than putting it on to them and saying "oh you have enough to do" have you actually said, "look these calls are unnecessary and disturbing my work, please could you stop?"

Why isn't your husband taking the calls if he is with the kids and you are working? Give them his number.

makingmammaries · 03/04/2020 16:26

YANBU. Tell them that you are working and are NOT ABLE to take daily calls. I would hate it too. Parents of homeschooled and preschool kids don’t get called every day. Sod that for a game of soldiers. Ask them to call once a week and put your DS on the line when they do.

makingmammaries · 03/04/2020 16:27

And filter calls via voicemail as others have suggested.

ineedaholidaynow · 03/04/2020 18:29

These pesky teachers looking out for their pupils.

Would people also complain about the teachers going out of their way to deliver food parcels to families that are on free school meals. Or checking in with other families to let them know that if their circumstances have changed they may now be eligible for free school meals and how to make a claim. Because this is what is happening in my schools.

My son is top set, and has diligently been sending in his online homework. But if he hadn't been in contact with the school for a few days, I am sure we would get a welfare check. Yes, daily may be overkill, but maybe the tutor is treating it like registration.

Speaking directly to the pupil by their personal mobile or home phone is a safeguarding issue, so that is why they will be contacting the parent, even it is just to talk about schoolwork.

Our MAT is very concerned about vulnerable children and how they can monitor them over the next few weeks. You can bet the number of vulnerable children by the end of this school year will be much higher than the number at the beginning. My friend who works for the police have said they are gearing themselves up for a substantial increase in domestic violence.

TheMaddHugger · 03/04/2020 20:46

Sorry. This has been floating around in my muddled brain for a while now.

Do they not think your DH is capable of looking after the children... He's a Man.

It's your womanly job to caretake the children.

🤔🤔💢💥🦆🍸🍸

OK, that's my brain fart. Enjoy ?

To have asked DS’s school to stop calling us?
To have asked DS’s school to stop calling us?
To have asked DS’s school to stop calling us?
Maryjane3227 · 03/04/2020 21:37

If it turns out that schools don't reopen until Sep, and you don't mind him having fallen behind and being moved down a group, that's fine. Exams aren't the be all and end all, there's far more to education than school, and he should be allowed to relax. But if you think you might be tempted to fault the school when he is in Year 9 or 10 because you feel he isn't meeting his potential, maybe try to help him keep the routine going right now.

thirdfiddle · 04/04/2020 01:17

Maryjane you have misunderstood the situation. If you read OP's updates, the child /is/ doing the work. OP just doesn't want to have a daily call from the form tutor about it. Understandably.

TheMaddHugger · 04/04/2020 03:22

@thirdfiddle, I'm not sure if it was one call a day or several. For some odd reason I was thinking it was multiple calls a day

TheMaddHugger · 04/04/2020 03:26

Quote from OP

Seriously ragwort, your son is an adult, surely.

Hugo he is completing it although no one is marking it so I’m not honestly sure how they know if he’s done it or not!

tootired it’s DS’s form tutor, they have vertical tutor groups and y11 aren’t being contacted so <strong>about 12 phone calls a day</strong>, I think.
~~~~~~
Marchitectmummy · 04/04/2020 03:38

Have you checked with other parents in your son's class whether they are being called daily? That will answer much of this.

My daughters school is calling 3 times a week for the younger girls (listening to reading and French lesson) and twice a week for the older ones. However, we are paying for them to educate our girls therefore I expect frequent contact to ensure they are learning during this period. I would be very annoyed if their teaching staff didn't make regular personal contact, and I say that as someone who is extremely busy running a business with 5 daughters around me. So I personally am not sure why ypu are so offended by a daily call, our perception of intent may differ.

mooboy · 04/04/2020 05:38

I think I would take the call and I’d ask why they were calling me everyday, what are their concerns - you might not be told but then I’d pursue it further and ask to speak to the head, to both find out why and give feedback as to the effect their policy is having on you. The last thing anyone needs at the moment is to feel harassed, it might not annoy some people - saints that you are but it would annoy the hell out of me.

PumpkinP · 04/04/2020 07:07

This is strange, I haven’t heard a single thing from my children’s school since they broke up (3 at school, and one does have an ehcp)

DobbinEweInn · 04/04/2020 07:16

I have 4 in 3 schools, 2 have EHCPs (different schools). All 3 have said on newsletters they will be in contact once a fortnight as routine after the Easter holidays. It's the EHCPs which have different approaches here.

thirdfiddle · 04/04/2020 09:10

The limit of our contact from school here (primary) has been one rather snotty end of term email from the head to the whole school saying how hard he's working. Regular set work would be lovely. A call once a week or something would be lovely. But to the kids, not to me! They're the ones missing their teachers.
MaddHugger, I thought that was the number of calls the form tutor had to make each day, 12 kids x 1 call per family.

ineedaholidaynow · 04/04/2020 09:41

@thirdfiddle calling children directly can be a safeguarding issue

KindKylie · 04/04/2020 10:00

Our school are ringing at least once a week, and asking to speak directly to the children.

I think it's a great link and has given my children some sense of stability in all this uncertainty. They've been emailing their teachers and receiving replies too. I wouldn't criticise a school that is taking an interest in the wellbeing of their pupils.

thirdfiddle · 04/04/2020 10:07

There seem to be varied views on what constitutes a safeguarding issue in current times, plenty of schools do seem to be managing for teachers to speak to kids or otherwise being in contact e.g. submitting work and getting feedback on it. Some schools are managing a full timetable. From that to nothing seems a bit of a gulf. In OP's case I can't see how calling parents with that frequency helps anyone, sounds like a well meaning but misguided management imposition to me.