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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked DS’s school to stop calling us?

187 replies

Syncrows · 02/04/2020 09:19

I was very polite but they keep calling and to be honest it’s a little irritating.

I requested the other day and said I’d call if we needed anything but still the daily phone calls continue - AIBU?

OP posts:
Winterwoollies · 02/04/2020 12:40

Everyone piling on again. I think daily phone calls is excessive. Weekly would be ok, but daily is bonkers.

MitziK · 02/04/2020 12:42

If I was abusing my child, I probably wouldn’t say so on the phone

You're right, you wouldn't. You'd say 'Oh, we're fine, we'll get in touch if we need anything', 'Please don't trouble yourself to call every day', or sounding a little irritated 'These calls, nice though they are, are disturbing me whilst I'm working'.

Or you would, as advised by others on this thread, not answer or block them if numbers were visible.

whitesoxx · 02/04/2020 12:48

"Schools have a safeguarding legislation in place to insure all children are called and spoken to at least once a fortnight"

Is that true? Why don't they call in the summer holidays or at Christmas then??

Cissyandflora · 02/04/2020 12:49

We had one phonecall. It was really kind but I know it’s because we have a social worker. That wasn’t mentioned but I know they wouldn’t call everyone.
I do understand you OP and I would not like that at all. Seems really excessive and disruptive. Perhaps you could do as someone upthread suggested, say you are blocking calls for most of the day due to be8ng busy with children and WFH.

Original poster
Syncrows · 02/04/2020 12:50

Well my children aren’t amongst them weh Hmm

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 02/04/2020 12:51

But at least the school had tried Judy. There really isn't anything else schools can do at the moment. Before lockdown but when schools were closing, SLT at the local Primaries were wondering whether it would be possible to do visits to vulnerable families, obviously that is not possible at the moment.

You can just imagine the headlines, 'children found starving, haven't eaten for weeks and the school hadn't checked with the family why they hadn't received any communication/homework from the family for weeks'.

Also the phone calls might not pick up physical abuse happening but they might pick up parents who are mentally/financially struggling with it all and they don't know where to turn to. If any families can be helped surely it is a good thing. And these maybe families that have never had to ask for help from school, social workers etc before.

NellGwynsPenguin · 02/04/2020 12:53

Have you explained you’re working?

Why isn’t your Ds online with the teacher. Is he missing zooms? Not emailing in his work on time?

Something doesn’t add up here.

Devlesko · 02/04/2020 12:55

Your responsibility is to your children and their education, not your work.
at times like this you have to support the school, not be that parent
HTH

Sleepingboy · 02/04/2020 13:05

If you dont like it, dont pick up. Easy..

alloutoffucks · 02/04/2020 13:08

No school is going to make daily phone calls if there are zero concerns.

LostInTheWoods1 · 02/04/2020 13:08

Daily phone calls, how on earth have they got time for that? My husband is a high school teacher, he was a little annoyed they have decided he has to ring each of his form once a fortnight. I could hear him making the calls and every single one the tone is defensive on his part explaining why he is calling, no one seems to be happy to receive his call! It’s the heads idea though not his.

Despite what mumsnet thinks he’s really busy working anyway, setting work, following up and then being online to answer any questions pretty much his usual teaching day, he’s having to find extra resources to help fill the gaps where he can’t stand there and teach (it’s science so it’s pretty difficult to do without the experiments). It’s created extra work believe it or not. So he doesn’t want the added hassle of ringing people who clearly don’t want to speak to him, but he doesn’t have any choice.

If I was you I’d ask for them to reduce the contact to once a week as you feel it’s overkill.

Balhammom · 02/04/2020 13:12

Perish the thought that the school have OP’s children’s best interests at heart...

Trying26 · 02/04/2020 13:12

Your responsibility is to your children and their education, not your work.

Work provides income to provide for the children dfo

diddl · 02/04/2020 13:13

"Your responsibility is to your children and their education, not your work"

There's another parent in the house who can take on that responsibility so that Op can work.

Give the school your husband's number, Op.

Trying26 · 02/04/2020 13:14

Or you would, as advised by others on this thread, not answer or block them if numbers were visible.

Are you implying those that advise not answering or who get annoyed with them are trying to hide abusing their kids? Hmm

Twisique · 02/04/2020 13:16

I wish our school would phone! I am completely confused by all the work in different places all over the internet!

Trying26 · 02/04/2020 13:18

it feels that intrusive, then what you are trying to prevent the school knowing?

Nothing. It's just too much and annoying.

Original poster
Syncrows · 02/04/2020 13:19

nells there is no sort of online teaching taking place. Just worksheets. They don’t take long.

DD2 is in reception and education wise is probably the one I’m most concerned about.

OP posts:
stickerqueen · 02/04/2020 13:22

no calls from dd's school just generic emails with information.
dd has to email the school before 4pm each day if she don't then they will call to check.

MintyMabel · 02/04/2020 13:32

They are phoning a top set kid with no vulnerability, every day to see if they are doing work?

Sounds strange. Why not just not answer the phone.

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 02/04/2020 13:32

At this precise time they have no legal responsibilities towards your child since the school is shut. All this talk of safeguarding is what schools are choosing to do out of concern. Fair enough. But assuming what OP has told us is true then her children don’t fall under that category. So let’s stop detailing the thread.
The question is- how do I get the school to stop calling me regarding my adult child who is perfectly healthy, no safeguarding concerns and is achieving well?
The answer: complain.
It is clearly excessive and unnecessary.

NellGwynsPenguin · 02/04/2020 13:46

Oh right I see syncrows

Well, can you forward the calls to your son?

MitziK · 02/04/2020 14:56

Are you implying those that advise not answering or who get annoyed with them are trying to hide abusing their kids?

No, not at all.

They're just doing exactly the same as somebody who is would do.

Cherrysoup · 02/04/2020 15:07

Bizarre. We’ve been asked to send a generic message or set up a google classroom so kids can tell us how they are/have a conversation. It’s a safeguarding thing to check they’re ok. Only one of my form-Year 11-has responded. I let the head know.

thirdfiddle · 02/04/2020 15:42

Whyever can't your dh speak to them then? Next time they call ask them to change the contact details to his mobile number. Back up with email to school office. Sorted. They're probably calling you because you're down as the primary contact.

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