Why can't my DC eat what I bloody cook!!

[MamaInNeed]

So we're having to "ration" food, and time spent preparing it, because DH and I are having to work more (key workers). We can't always get the foods our teenage DCs like, and we don't have time to cook 2 or 3 different meals a night. They can't cook without supervision, so they have to wait for us to be available. I made a shepherd's pie tonight. My 15yo ate some of the potato and the vegetables on the side. My 12yo picked at the potato and refused everything else. I told them to eat it or go hungry. They both decided to go hungry. I've got a casserole for tomorrow, I doubt they'll eat that either. They literally eat rice, pasta and vegetarian freezer foods. They refuse almost all meat, even chicken nuggets. They haven't eaten fish in 8 years. They don't like dairy. It can't have too much sugar. AIBU to want them to eat like normal people? They're living off fruit, vegetables and carbs. No protein at all. WTF do I do??

Oops, got a bit ranty. Sorry!

Why can't they cook without supervision ?

Maybe create a menu plan with them, a balance between the shit they like and the nutritious stuff you make for them?

Let those little shits go hungry and lock up all the snacks so they can't guzzle those. No cereal, no toast - little ingrates.
No way I'd put up with that nonsense from mine.

I’m also wondering why the 15yo can’t cook unsupervised?

Tell them they need to cook without supervision if they don't like what you make.

If they only want pasta or rice I am sure even teens can cook that. If they are generally healthy let them live on plain pasta. If they also eat fruit & veg that sounds OK.

Trust them to cook their own pasta, rice and vegetarian foods?

15 is well old enough to use the job and oven.

Time to teach them to cook, discuss balanced diets and current challenges.
Set a menu for the week with discussion and look at different sources of protein such as lentils and chickpeas

You could try getting them involved in the planning and cooking process.

I've just started a thread in AIBU about getting mine to cook more and thought my idea might work for others whose dc are bored during lockdown, so I started a thread about it.

It's here in case you finds any of the ideas useful:

I have sympathy. I have two teens who really won't cook. I'm ready willing and able to show them the ropes but its sheer bloody mindedness on their part.

Sorry, forgot link

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3867478-AIBU-To-let-you-know-one-way-Im-keeping-my-dc-busy-in-lockdown

Barring severe special needs there is absolutely no reason why a 15 yo can't cook a meal. Huge parenting fail

Do they have SEN? Because I'm struggling to believe that a NT 15 year old can't be trusted to boil pasta and open a jar or packet of sauce. Hell, even the 12 year old must know how to make beans on toast or an omelet or something?

Missing the point entirely, if they won't eat much meat or what you cook then good things to have in that they can help themselves to might be skyr yoghurt (much higher protein), cheese, nuts, bombay mix (with lentils), quorn nuggets and eggs.

Veggie mince for the shepherds pie? Are they actually vegetarian? Or wanting to be but don't know how to have a balanced diet?

Just for clarification, there are plenty of proteins in vegetables. Also, the amino acids that are within the vegetables are used by the human body to produce some of the proteins that are not naturally found in vegetables. Common examples of vegetables that are high in protein include peas, corn, broccoli and lentils. These may not be what you have in or indeed serve but it is wrong to suggest otherwise. If your supposition were correct, vegetarians would have no way of creating muscle or the basic building blocks needed for cartilage, tendons, cell membranes, veins, brain tissue etc.

They should be cooking, especially if they’re home all day and you and your husband are key workers. How lazy and inconsiderate of them.

Should've mentioned, sorry. 15yo has fairly severe dyspraxia so we have to watch what she's doing, just in case. 12yo is NT but often gets distracted and forgets to take things out of the oven etc. They might be able to get something done by working together, but they argue quite a bit so not sure if I'd want them too!

So they're vegetarian/vegan. No point in trying to make them eat animal products in that case.

Get Quorn mince or red lentils next time and mix in some Bisto (it's vegan) for the mince like flavour.

They're going to save you a lot of money this way.

And they're perfectly capable of cooking if they don't have SEN. And probably capable of it if they do.

What do they think of Shepherdess pie? Veg stir fry? Lentil bolognaise? Soup and buttered rolls?

Tell us what you have tried. What do they eat at school?
It must be very worrying for you.
My dd is ASD and has food issues, so you have my sympathies.

Let those little shits go hungry and lock up all the snacks so they can't guzzle those. No cereal, no toast - little ingrates.
No way I'd put up with that nonsense from mine.

This. My mum didn't stand for cooking more than one dinner and that was only during the 80's, not a worldwide pandemic. You ate what you were given or you went hungry.

Though I may or may not have seen her peel the skin off sausages and other such shit for my niece 😂

Having seen your update about your 15 year old having dyspraxia, I think you still have to all work together to come up with a meal plan that will work for you, your budget, but also work with her limits to use this time to allow her to learn to be more self-sufficient.

This might mean agreeing to vegetarian meals using pulses, eggs, nuts etc for protein.

Find things like rice noodles or couscous can be made soaking in hot water from a kettle.

The objective should be coming up with a plan that makes your life easier rather than harder.

I chose to go hungry rather than eat processed shit.

Turned out I rather liked the feeling.

I think you can guess where that led to.

Eventually, once I was old enough to leave home and cook food myself, I did. But it left me with a lot of food issues.

I was going to join in on the why aren't they cooking until this:

Should've mentioned, sorry. 15yo has fairly severe dyspraxia so we have to watch what she's doing, just in case

So my 9 year old is also dyspraxic, hence his 6 year old brother is actually more able to cook than the 9 year old.

My nine year old can make himself noodles (yes, I hovered over him and the boiling kettle for a long time, as his muscle tone and co-ordination is so bad). He can do sandwiches, and salads (he knows to be very careful with knives). My 6 year old can do toast and scrambled eggs, bake cakes - reading is what holds him back. As a team I think they could actually have a good attempt at a meal.

While this is going on, I think you just need to take it a bit easy. Whilst thinking of things they might be able to do for themselves if they're not going to eat the family dinner. Freeze the family dinners for you, and let them fend for themselves a bit.

Having said that, the 9 year old eats anything, and the 6 year old is extremely fussy. I just go with it to a certain extent. As long as their tummies are full, if the 6 year old has had bread and sweetcorn today, then OK. Tomorrow I'll do something like pasta that he'll eat.

Once he's older, he will take a turn cooking - I was certainly cooking for the family by 12 - then he can cook what he wants for us on those days. The nine year old with dyspraxia we add stuff as he gets older and we judge him able.