to expect parents to reply to party invitations?

[katybump]

i am having a large joint birthday party for my dss on sunday.i sent out invites before the summer holidays as the party is fancy dress and i didn't want to spring it on anyone.i included my phone number on the invite and have followed up with a large notice in each of my dss class (in plain view)to remind parents.out of 50 children invited i have had replies off 7! i don't have time to chase everyone up so or to expect everyone to come but i have to prepare food etc and do not have a clue how many children are coming

sorry if this is long and typed one handed due to feeding dd

you are not being unreasonable but that seems to be the way it is I'm afraid.

We had a party in Saturday - 11 people invied and 3 didn't turn up. One of them had replied to say they were definitley coming!

FIFTY????? Blimey you are brave.

I always reply but it seems that other parents don't. So after DS1 sitting there like billynomates at his first birthday (we only invited about 7) with 2 show ups, at every party for ds1 and now ds2 I book about 15 places at wherever we're holding it, then invite about 25 kids and usually about 15 show up. I always check that I can add more kids on the day but more never show up!

it's so frustrating.i understand people have commitments and children go to their dads etc but if they could just let me know AAAAARRRGHHHH and yes that is annoying when somebody says they will be coming and then don't bother to turn up!

the party's not at my house lol.i only invited so many as i told the boys they could have twenty each (my mums friend got a room , entertainer and bouncy castle at a discount for me)but then figured that as there are only 24 in each class they could invite them all.add in a couple of friends children and family i reckoned about 35 altogether would turn up .but not 7 ffs!

Yeah, let me tell you about my friend... she called me on the morning of my dd bday to say she was coming to the party in the afternoon..... she didn't turn up but she called me to say..... "that she was at another party and wasn't seeing for them coming down to South London"

AND BREATH.........

The cowards tell you they are coming then text you when the party is underway with some outrageous excuse about MIl being rushed to hospital just as they were about to set off for party .
Which is even more annoying as you 've included them in the confirmed numbers
For ds2 2nd birthday next May I've decided to do a teddy bears picnic outside with just a pile of home made cakes and butties and let the kids run about in the park for free. Any leftover cakes will go back in my cake tin!

Then there was my friend who was very organised and sent a letter to all the other mums in her daughter's classes saying 'shall we all call a truce this year and not have any parties' as they were all so fed up of having them to go to every flamin weekend. Most of the other mums agreed!
I am going to save that one up for a few years........

i'm lucky that it was one price for the room and not per head or i would have been really angry
at your friend dulwichdolly some people just don't give a sh*t

think no parties would be a good idea,i promised ds1 this party as it's his last year in juniors before he goes to big school and he desrves it as he was made a house captain this morning

I think this year we will have parties for our two, so that means forking out for party and getting pressies - but only going to about 50% of parties we get invited to. If you have 2 kids of party age Katy I'm sure you will agree it becomes such a bind when one or the other one is invited to a party nearly every weekend.
But of course I will give everyone plenty of notice that we can't attend.
You can't be expected to attend them all AND have some kind of family life if you both work, but at least we can be polite and tell people if we are not coming!

You are SO not being unreasonable. I can relate to this too unfortunately. Last year my dd's 4th birthday party, she was so excited, delighted with herself, talking for weeks about it all and who she would invite and everything. I sent out 15 invitations 2 weeks beforehand, I got no replies. I then though fuck it, I'm just going to ring them all up, I just couldn't face my dear dd being sad on her 4th birthday, so I rang up the 4/5 whose numbers I had. THey all said they were coming. As for the rest, I spoke to a few at school when I could, but not all. SO in all, I was epxecting I think around 8 kids, had presents for 8, food for 8, games for 8, prizes for 8, and all that ..you get the picture!
On the day, party due to start at 2pm, and end at 4pm. By 2.15, no one there. Did not let onto dd that it was party time yet. Buy 2.30pm, 3 of them there, dd delighted, they all began dressing up in her princess costumes, and she was just beaming and so happy. Then I had a clal on my mobile 'excuse me, can you tell me where the party is please', no 'hello' or possible even 'its blah blah's mum', nothing, so I was super friendly and gave directions, even offered dh to go and collect them. THe invitee, her two sisters and her brother were dropped off at 10 to 3 by their eldest sister who siad she's be back at 5 as she had to go shopping!! my dd was so excited and happy to have 4 of her mates from school by then that she didn;t even notice. We had a lovely party, dd had a lovely time. But I did wonder - what the fuck are these other parents on???! If my dd is invited to a party, I do not think, oooo what will I do, will I
a) say I'm coming and then not come.
b) not say anything at all and then treat it as a babysitting service for my entire extended family
c) not show up at all and not rsvp

why why why why why.

thanks flibbertyjibbrt that is exactly my point!i don't expect everyone to come.my two don't go to all the parties they get invited to but i always let people know in advance out of politeness more than anything else,maybe i just expect more people to be like me

Where do you live? shall we have a party and only invite people that rsvp???

glad it worked out in the end for your dd pscmum.the parents of some of the children that have replied have offered to stay and help which is great.i just hope i found out before thursday how many are coming as thats when i going party shopping. if not then(checks its after 9pm) fuck em !if their names not down their not getting in lol

could you ask them to tick a box on a reply sheet and put it in a box in the classroom so you can collect it later?

i'm in manchester.do you want to come?theres a bar

good idea maisymum may do that tomorrow.thanks for the tip x

This is my pet hate! My dc's are 9 & 5 and over the years we've had a church hall & entertainer for 40 plus, the older one is now doing bowling, cinema things like that for less than 20. However over the years the number of people who just dont reply stuns me. The outcome seems to be if people dont reply they are coming and they sometimes seem to let you know if they aren't coming. Once I'd sent a reply slip a school bag and dd had forgotten to pass it on and so the mother phoned me to see if we were coming and i was mortified at being thought of as a 'non replier'! But i reckon most people couldnt give a t**s and its so rude

hope it works katybump - best wishes for the party

sorry maisym and thats without a drink

My son's 5th birthday was just a few weeks after he started primary school so most of the guests were family, neighbours except for a couple of boys who had been in his nursery class and who had gone on to the same school as my son.
On the day of the party it was all going well and most people had arrived and I was happy...when in walked a child who I barely recognised from his new class and a parent that I had never clapped eyes on...well they knew the correct time/date/party room etc even though no invitations had ever gone into the school!! To this day I still don't know how they managed to think the child was invited...they had brought a gift with my son's name on it even though my son could not remember the boy's name!!! When I asked my son he just said he was telling all the boys at school about his party and I spent the next hour expecting another thirty children to arrive uninvited!! Thankfully he was the only one but I still don't think I would have taken my son to a birthday party if he had not brought home the little invitation.

At his 7th birthday only three out of fifteen children turned up and only two called to say they would not make it...the pary place had a minimum of ten places for each party so I had to pay for food for ten...they were not impressed when I asked for the other seven plates of food to be brought out..the parents and adults soon finished them off!!!

katybump - i would start asking as some of the buggers will just turn up!

on the other hand, as it was pre holiday i would want to check that they got the invites - my dd had armfuls of paper things so it might be easy for things to go astray

errrr, not that far actually, just north of Bolton....
Would have to get the train if there's a bar though and last time I did that I ended up where the train stops at Clitheroe... last train too!
Don't have any fancy dress though - do you think that might be putting people off attending? Purchase of pressie AND organising fancy dress, as there's only halloween stuff in the shops at the moment.
We had an invite yesterday to a party next month from a mum who didn't bother to rsvp and didnt' turn up with her two to ds1's bash this year.
I am very tempted to return the insult...

I've had my son pull invitations out of his pocket that turned out to be for parties held three weeks earlier. I expect those parents thought I was rude.

oh flibbertyjibbet you have to come now. didn't know you were that near!
don't think fancy dress would put them off.school has a fancy dress day near the end of term so most of the kids have it anyway just think that the parents are RUDE