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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect parents to reply to party invitations?

89 replies

katybump · 11/09/2007 20:59

i am having a large joint birthday party for my dss on sunday.i sent out invites before the summer holidays as the party is fancy dress and i didn't want to spring it on anyone.i included my phone number on the invite and have followed up with a large notice in each of my dss class (in plain view)to remind parents.out of 50 children invited i have had replies off 7! i don't have time to chase everyone up so or to expect everyone to come but i have to prepare food etc and do not have a clue how many children are coming

sorry if this is long and typed one handed due to feeding dd

OP posts:
chocolatedot · 12/09/2007 21:00

This drives me nuts too. One parent in our class over 4 years never replied or acknowledged a single party invitation. Our most recent party was a particularly appealing after school event and after his daughter nagged him, he came up to me and asked if she could come on the morning of the party. I said yes of course but asked whether he had seen the invitation and he replied "Oh there's so much rubbish in the book bags I can never be bothered reading it". This from a man paying £10k a year for her school fees.

glitterball · 13/09/2007 00:12

YANBU

we aways have parties at home and i have got used to inviting 30 kids, getting 15 or so responses - including some on the morning of the party! - and having about 20 turn up, including about 12 of the 15 who said they were definitely coming........

however this year ds1 is having a 'proper' party, has only invited 8-10 friends.

I asked for replies by today and as it is not a 'house' party honestly thought i would get replies this time! by this morning 4 had replied! after some phone calls by me, we have 6 acceptances, and one unknown (no phone no). so now 1, possibly 2 short and running out of time............wouldnt bother but for the £11 a head already paid (sigh)

Original poster
katybump · 13/09/2007 19:12

just a quick update , i have now received 12 replies and this is after getting the head teacher to address the parents at a parent/teacher assembly yesterday.so have decided that those who have replied i have catered for and those that just turn up will have to do without. tough ,i can't be bothered chasing them anymore

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BarbieGirl · 13/09/2007 19:47

It's disgusting when people are too lazy to say a simple yes or no to an invitation - especially when we have to pay £10 a head.

For DD's 6th b'day I am going to take a select few of her friends (the ones she plays with the most) and take them to pizza hut or to the movies. Much easier.

Rytzy · 14/09/2007 11:40

I AM SO NOT INVITING ALL THE CLASS TO MY DD BDAY...

SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP THE MADNESS AND IT WILL BE ME....

JUST THE VERY BEST FRIENDS WILL BE INVITED TO PARTIES!

EmsMum · 14/09/2007 11:52

Fortunately most of DD's friend's parents do reply and its reasonably easy for me to chase those who haven't (usually because of lost invitation or 2-household family type thing).

If they didn't, I think I would word invitations something like "RSVP by if can join us - thanks!" - that makes it pretty clear its up to them to reply.

Dinosaur · 14/09/2007 11:55

Not unreasonable, but it is the way of the world.

We invited just about the whole class to DS2's birthday party during the holidays and I spent a stupid amount of money hiring a party bus. Fewer than 10 children turned up. DS2 had a great time and didn't mind at all, but I felt pretty stupid.

Thankfully, no more big parties for us, one advantage of DS3 being autistic .

Original poster
katybump · 16/09/2007 17:44

ok so 36!!!!! turned up and a great time was had by all .the fancy dress was inspired 1st prize went to a 118 with a giant tache and frenchie from grease for all the stress it was great

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BarbieGirl · 16/09/2007 19:07

Glad it turned out well in the end Katy. The same happened to me. 45 invites only 7 replies, 38 turned up - so we are supposed to assume that the ones that don't tell us one way or another if they are coming are actually coming - very ignorant and how much food are we supposed to make up???

Original poster
katybump · 16/09/2007 19:18

thanks barbie girl,glad i 'm not doing it next year

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BarbieGirl · 16/09/2007 19:31

Neither am I. I have already told DD she is to choose 5 of her best friends from school and I will take them to Pizza Hut and then to the Cinema if they want all paid for. It's less hassle.

Original poster
katybump · 16/09/2007 19:46

totally agree about the hassle lol we usually go away for the weekend but promised ds a party this year. i wouldn't mind but 3 people who did reply to say they were coming never showed!at least the boys had a good time x

OP posts:
bran · 16/09/2007 19:57

Would it be terribly anal and controlling to put the time and date of the party on the invite and then for location have "location to be confirmed when you RSPV".

Original poster
katybump · 16/09/2007 20:00

sounds good to me like an old skool rave for little people (spelt wrong on purpose lol)

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