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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect parents to reply to party invitations?

89 replies

katybump · 11/09/2007 20:59

i am having a large joint birthday party for my dss on sunday.i sent out invites before the summer holidays as the party is fancy dress and i didn't want to spring it on anyone.i included my phone number on the invite and have followed up with a large notice in each of my dss class (in plain view)to remind parents.out of 50 children invited i have had replies off 7! i don't have time to chase everyone up so or to expect everyone to come but i have to prepare food etc and do not have a clue how many children are coming

sorry if this is long and typed one handed due to feeding dd

OP posts:
Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 22:32

bob the dirty builder perhaps flibberty?

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lololola · 11/09/2007 22:42

ladies, i have had a real laugh with u 2nite, off 2 bed now dh got his carrot out! x

Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 22:44

thanks ronshar i'll let you know how the party goes ,that's if i can get in amongst all the people lol

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Flibbertyjibbet · 11/09/2007 22:44

The only reaction dp will get from me tonight is if he doesn't have a shower soon he is setting off my dust allergies...

Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 22:45

night lolola .has it ever been proven that carrots help you see in the dark

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Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 22:48

message to flibbertyjibbets dp : GET A FARKING SHOWER!!! please

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Firefox · 11/09/2007 22:52

I hate this too. I can't understand how hard it is for parents to say a simple yes we can make it, or sorry no we can't - especially if you see them in the playground, give your phone number, email and mobile.

IMHO - bad manners.

Mind you I also find that thank you cards after a party is quite rare these days too.

Flibbertyjibbet · 11/09/2007 22:54

I'm too tired to think up any funny comments about my grubby builder and his selection of large power tools...

Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 22:56

oh i do thank you cards too.well usually a handwritten note to say thanks for ds present or ds had a great time at your party ,i think that alot of things in life are expensive but manners are free and available to all.taught my dss this too and people always comment on their politeness

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Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 22:59

sleep on it flibberty ,the joke not his power tool oh my god i'd better go to bed soon it's making me smile far to much on here,i usually just read and hardly ever post now look whats happened ,you turned my frown upside down

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hotcrossbunny · 11/09/2007 23:19

I am mortified You have reminded me we forgot a birthday party on Sunday
I can't believe it. i never do things like that...
Mitigating circs? Well the invites came in June. Dd started school this week. My parents announced their house purchase fell through....
Not excuses as such, but they sort of meant my head wasn't very straight.
Feel big pressie and chocs coming up

Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 23:24

it's ok hotcrossbunny don't think they'll mind the odd one but my 43 beats your 1 no show hands down .off to bed night night x

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MrLSG · 11/09/2007 23:25

YANBU.

We've just had ds1's 6th birthday party. Invites went out before the summer hols with an "RSVP before 16th August", yet by start of school last week three people still hadn't replied.

A repeat of the invites via school elicited no response until the day before when one called and said "Sorry, XXX can't come as it's his sister's birthday." So WTF didn't you tell us that in July??? Next year, your child will not be getting an invite!!!

In future, we'll add to the RSVP request a comment that we'll assume they won't be coming if no reply by the requested date.

PS Party was brilliant!! Quite a few parents commented "you've set the party standard for the year!". But the venue has been blown... Role on next year!!!

Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 23:26

at least you have the grace to want to make amends the cheeky beep beeps at school will probably wonder where their party bags are on monday

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2mum · 11/09/2007 23:27

I always reply whether ds goes or not. I think its rude not to reply.

Original poster
katybump · 11/09/2007 23:28

glad you had a good party mrlsg hope ours is too night x

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BarbieGirl · 12/09/2007 11:15

This happened to me. I had a joint party with 2 other kids in my DD's class and out of 45 invites about 7 said they were or were not coming . Ignorant and rude of the others methinks.

40 turned up BTW. Imagine if we had only catered for 7 kids

Original poster
katybump · 12/09/2007 11:28

aargh i've got a feeling thats going to happen to me

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kslatts · 12/09/2007 12:31

YANBU, dd is having a party on Sunday, she has invited about 25, but we have only had a few replies. I'm going shopping on Saturday for food and things for party bags, but have no idea how much to buy.

Caroline1852 · 12/09/2007 12:46

It is rude not to rsvp. Send invites stating time and date but ask the parents to call for further details if they want to come. Otherwise, state in big letters on the invite "If we do not hear from you that you are definitely coming we will not cater for you".

Caroline1852 · 12/09/2007 12:49

I dislike large parties anyway and I loathe party bags. I was once bullied into party bags by my DS1 (now 15) and instead of sweets I put toothbrushes (nice Oral B ones) and a small tube of toothpaste in each bag along with some tat and a balloon and a small bag choc buttons. I have never been asked for party bags since!

Original poster
katybump · 12/09/2007 12:52

maybe we should print this thread and stick it up at school.i think i'm going to be hardfaced and only cater for those i had heard from before hand.if i get any surprise guests it will be oh sorry i presumed you were not coming as i didn't receive a reply so have not catered for your dd/ds.

nah i'm to much of a coward i'll just end up with loads of stuff left over

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Original poster
katybump · 12/09/2007 12:55

not doing party bags,i've bought a bulk lot of those punch ball ballons(can't be bothered with the faffing)it's more food stuff and drinks ,plates and napkins .i know they can be reused and i can use kitchen roll to save money ,it's just the whole bad manners thing that gets to me

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Vinegar · 12/09/2007 20:15

It is very annoying when parents don't bother to rsvp. It is even more annoying when they say they will be there and then don't turn up at all. This happened at dd's party last year. The mum in question came up to me looking all sheepish and says "Sorry we couldn't come for the party, but I wasn't well and I couldn't call as my throat was so sore I lost my voice", she then proceeds to cough a bit. I knew it was rubbish, as dd had asked her dd why she hadn't come and had been told that she had wanted to but was out shopping with her mum!

KristinaM · 12/09/2007 20:24

I am really by teh rudeness. When we have had big parties for the kids (i mean whole class type parties) , we usually get replies from everyone except 2-3. If we just invite less than 10 i've always had everyone reply.

I just assumed that these kids had lose teh inviations etc etc. I'm shocked that where you live there is a culture of just not replying

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