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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask how many people are WFH with no childcare right now?

219 replies

michaelbaubles · 31/03/2020 11:31

Seen a few comments on other threads at people incredulous that anyone was having to work from home with no childcare, and I thought surely a huge amount of people are?

Check in here - I'm teaching, full time from home (basically working 8.30-4 on and off, no live lessons but setting and marking work, chasing up students and responding to messages and emails all day), and I have 2 DC, 6 and 8 here too.

DP is here but he is also working from home (freelancer, has to keep hustling and chasing up funding to get any money at all).

OK I wouldn't normally be working like this but some posters are acting like it's literally impossible - it isn't - it's hard but we have to do what we can.

OP posts:
ChainsawBear · 31/03/2020 14:44

Very often on MN it has been said that WFH with no childcare is impossible. Well there you go MN, it isn't impossible after all.

Technically impossible, no. Extremely undesirable, very hard to put in a proper 40 hours a week, work during time children are awake, and give children the attention they need; very difficult to sustain without moral and physical exhaustion, specifically banned by most workplaces in times not of global crisis, yes.

Some people who were self employed have always been able to manage it by flexing hours a lot and working evenings and when the other parent was around. But most people who work for someone else, it has absolutely been impossible, because employers would 100% have fired you for it.

Excited101 · 31/03/2020 14:46

It’s not just keyworkers who are going into work and/or have childcare

FaFoutis · 31/03/2020 14:49

I teach live lessons morethan. What I did when my children were small is physically exhaust them (walks, trampoline, running around the garden), then sit them down with TV, snacks and drawing paper just as I am about to start teaching. I also gave them a clock to show when they can start bothering me again and I used rewards for silence when necessary.
I teach adults, and people are understanding about the odd interruption.

myself2020 · 31/03/2020 14:50

very often on MN it has been said that WFH with no childcare is impossible. Well there you go MN, it isn't impossible after all.
its impossible to do in a decent way long term. 18 hour days are not sustainable, and even with that i‘m neither a great parent nor y great employee. nor are any of my colleagues. we all do an utterly exhausting shit job at both. not sustainable

FaFoutis · 31/03/2020 14:53

Yes, it's hard and exhausting Chainsaw. After years of WFH with no childcare I look about 20 years older than I am but at least I can pay the mortgage!
I'm good at my job, long term. So are my colleagues, many of whom have a similar set-up.

TheOrigBrave · 31/03/2020 14:56

I have always WFH with no childcare, even when my 3 children were babies and toddlers.
Very often on MN it has been said that WFH with no childcare is impossible. Well there you go MN, it isn't impossible after all.

Well clearly it depends on what you do. I know for sure I could not be a full time editor of a scientific journal if I was looking after a baby or a toddler or young child, especially as a single parent.

I'm not sure what your point is. Of course it's possible, but then so it...I don't know, not washing your bed linen for 3 months. You wouldn't choose to do that.

FaFoutis · 31/03/2020 15:02

I know, it's a mad choice. I wouldn't wish it on anyone that didn't have to do it.
I do edit though, and research, write and teach. That's possible when you get used to it.

Crackerofdoom · 31/03/2020 15:12

Dh is WFH fulltime and I am doing 20 hours from home.

3 kids aged 9, 6 and 2.

It has been far better than I was expecting and the kids seem to be enjoying it but it would be really hard to sustain it long term.

I am doing a lot of my hours on the weekends and evening which is fine ATM as we have nowhere to go but eventually we would like to have weekends together again

nowaitaminute · 31/03/2020 15:14

I'm a teacher but due to the type of teacher that I am and the cohort of children that I teach. Online work is NOT an option. Also sending work for them to print is not an option. Hard to say without being outing I suppose. I have handed out worksheets (even though I don't really even do worksheets normally) I have given enough for this week and I will do more after Easter. So I am home...but not working iyswim (and being paid)

Purpleartichoke · 31/03/2020 15:16

DH and I both working from home. Dd is 11 so it’s not difficult. My colleagues with younger children are struggling. We are all trying to be flexible about schedules and laugh off interruptions.

Original poster
michaelbaubles · 31/03/2020 15:20

Fine if your children (only 6 and 8) are generally playing and watching TV but their education will suffer if you are working 8.30 til 4 for possibly months on end. Surely they need a lot of input from you during their school day? Unless their primary school is providing online lessons?

Well, this is what I'm talking about, I use my common sense and ingenuity. So they can watch TV in the morning until 9. I use 8.30-9 to send emails to my classes setting their work, and uploading assignments on Teams. We all do PE with Joe together (hence staring earlier to give me half an hour to do this) then they have a snack while I shower and they do some maths games on tablets while I check emails and see if I need to message anyone or chase any students up. The they do half an hour of maths from workbooks I bought for them before lockdown (as I could see this coming) - I work in my bedroom marking during this time but they can pop in and out.

Then I have a half hour conference call with my department where we catch up with each other and the kids play. Then we do some English - yesterday we planned stories after watching a previous year's BBC live lesson to prepare classes for the 500 Words challenge. They watched than and planned while I worked with my laptop on my knee marking work.

Then we all stop for lunch and some fresh air in the garden. In the afternoon they do project stuff like taking photos, making stuff, arts and crafts. I'll tend to set this up and then leave them to it while I work with the door closed planning work to send out the next day. I usually have a stream of emails and queries to deal with too. Obviously I can't work in the same way as at home but I'm getting a full day's work done - I'm interrupted more but when I have the chance to devote my attention to work I'm getting more done because I'm powering through it with more determination!

OP posts:
alphasox · 31/03/2020 16:01

Yes I’m WFH plus supporting my 8 year old with his school work and keeping my lively 2 year old entertained, while DH has suspected Covid so has been in bed for the last 9 days. I’m doing most of my work in the evenings but my colleagues and managers are incredibly understanding because many of them are in the same boat.

It’s hard but we will get there!

myself2020 · 31/03/2020 16:01

It starts to be real fun if you throw SENDs in the mix. i love my boys, but neurotypical kids would be so much easier...

PositiveLife · 31/03/2020 16:03

Me.

Stressed with work. Trying to help 10 year old with school work. Pretty much left the 12 year old to sort hers out by herself/phoning friends.

Had to laugh at the school sending a copy of the 12 year old's full timetable and suggesting I stick to it Hmm

sittingonacornflake · 31/03/2020 16:21

Lawyer. Single parent of a 2 year old. It's fun Grin

NichyNoo · 31/03/2020 17:02

Yep - I have a 9 year old and 7 year old who need schooling and I also still need to do my usual 35 hours a week work. Their school has been pretty rubbish - sent home a list of maths websites containing various games and some suggestions such as ‘write a book review’, ‘write a letter’ - no online lessons, no marking, no supervision. I’m an absolute stressed out mess Sad

metellaestinatrio · 31/03/2020 17:11

Yep. DC are just 4 and 18 months. I am absolutely exhausted from getting up at 5 to work, then having the children all day, then working again while DH does bath and bedtime routine. Also feel like I am constantly planning, preparing and clearing up after meals Sad.

Luckily I only work three days per week so I have a bit of flexibility to spread my hours across the week, but I can’t carry on like this for weeks on end. It’s impossible to work while the children are awake, even without the huge guilt that I am ignoring them. I asked to take holiday but work is so busy it was turned down Sad. I feel like it would be a bit easier if they were older, but then we would have to be managing schoolwork too so perhaps not.

Clockworkprincess · 31/03/2020 17:37

I'm working from home and has a ds4. Finding it very hard as he needs entertaining a lot and guiding with what to do. My dp works several nights so is no use really a couple of days. Im basically ploughing through as much as i can on days when dp is around (maybe 8 - 6)and then on days when he is sleeping am checking emails and queries but only doing bare basic. Its hard and i am appreciating nursery more for keeping little one focused as am struggling with keeping up with his basic work.

beachbreeze · 31/03/2020 17:40

Yeah... age 2 and 9. I have scaled back how much work I do (without consulting my boss) because it just isn't possible and I refuse to live in a stressed out household. I am doing what I can.

WriteronaMission · 31/03/2020 17:49

I'm WFH with a 7yo and 4yo. We have a schedule to allow me to do work. DH is still in the workplace but WFH one day a week so I can schedule video calls for then if needed.

I can ends up working pretty late into the night to catch up on anything I haven't managed with the kids around. My DH does all the morning stuff so I can get at least 5 hours sleep and then he does most of the childcare at the weekends to give me a bit of a break.

We work well as long as we communicate. It's when we stop talking that problems happen and stress levels rise.

NotNegan · 31/03/2020 17:54

Trying to WFH with an almost 4 year old is killing me. I'm going to be furloughed so I'm holding out until then.

My husband has his own business from home so is putting in twice the work just in case.

TheSheepofWallSt · 31/03/2020 17:59

Yep. WFH as a LP with a 3.5 yo.
Am most senior member of the team after the director. Won’t be furloughed.

Poor DS is getting a very raw deal- thankfully as an only child he’s pretty good at entertaining himself.
It works fine when I can split my day- so work 9.30- 12, 3-5 and 8-11ish - focus 100% on DS in between times.

Days like today when team needed lots of
hands on management.... they’re not so good.

Alwaysoverthinkingit34 · 31/03/2020 18:01

I WFH currently 4 days a week doing 10 hours a day and have a 1 year old and a 10 year old. I’m not okay Wine

LBOCS2 · 31/03/2020 18:10

DH and I are WFH with a 4yo and a 7yo.

It's not impossible but neither work nor our DC are getting the best of us by any stretch. We're flexing our work hours, staggering team calls (we both manage teams) and are taking it in turns to be 'on' for the children.

They're not doing much formal home learning and getting too much screen time, but we've got a garden and a trampoline, they're playing nicely together (long may it last!) and our respective companies are being relatively understanding, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

geekone · 31/03/2020 18:14

I am, I work from home mostly anyway, save one day in the office or business trips.

I have to home school DS10 it’s ok he is doing what he is meant to with lots of breaks for football practice and I am getting all of my calls done too. It’s not helped by having to get up at 6am to walk the dog for an hour! My DH gets home in time to take dog out for walk number 2. It works fine but I think DS being able to work autonomously most of the time works.