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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask how many people are WFH with no childcare right now?

219 replies

michaelbaubles · 31/03/2020 11:31

Seen a few comments on other threads at people incredulous that anyone was having to work from home with no childcare, and I thought surely a huge amount of people are?

Check in here - I'm teaching, full time from home (basically working 8.30-4 on and off, no live lessons but setting and marking work, chasing up students and responding to messages and emails all day), and I have 2 DC, 6 and 8 here too.

DP is here but he is also working from home (freelancer, has to keep hustling and chasing up funding to get any money at all).

OK I wouldn't normally be working like this but some posters are acting like it's literally impossible - it isn't - it's hard but we have to do what we can.

OP posts:
TheOneWithAnotherNewName · 31/03/2020 13:06

Yip. DH and I both WFH and have DSs 5 and 20 months. The 5 yo would be an easy shift but toddler needs a lot of attention.

Thankfully my work are brilliant and totally understand that people in our situation will need to work odd hours and they've also cut the hours they would expect from everyone to make sure we look after our mental health.

ChainsawBear · 31/03/2020 13:08

DP is either on the phone or video call from 9-5 so is limited in what he can do.

I'm sorry, but what garbage. I'm managing to supervise two young kids and take video calls at the same time. It's not ideal but it can absolutely be done. All these men holed up in home offices because their calls are sooooo important and they can't have their thought processes interrupted... Bollocks. They can do their turn and work at the same time, like DH and I are managing to do.

goodthanks · 31/03/2020 13:08

Teaching wfh is hardly a full time job and you clearly dont grasp how hard it is for some of us.
Oh thank fuck you said that I was worried there'd be a full thread without someone having a go at teachers.

sweetkitty · 31/03/2020 13:09

I’m a teacher usually work 4 days a week as I have a medical condition that leaves me very tired. DH WFH 7-4 and most evenings. We have a 15, 14, 11 and 9 yo DC. We have a timetable and I usually teach the DCs and study/work beside the older two. Do a bit in the evenings too. They are at an age where they can entertain themselves for a while.

somegoodnewsforonce · 31/03/2020 13:11

Yes 3.5yo DS. Thankfully I'm only pt and we've arranged our days so we only have a 2 hour cross over each day so that's when DS has all of his screen time.
I'm pregnant and tired and finding it hard keeping him entertained the rest of the time without play dates, soft play, swimming etc.
I have it luckier than some though, we have a large garden and I'm not a single parent.

severalboxes · 31/03/2020 13:13

Depends how old your kids are and what they're like, doesn't it?

I have 10mo and 3.5yo. It wouldn't be safe to try to work without supervising them properly.

Teabaseddiet · 31/03/2020 13:14

Yes - and I'm really stressed. My OH is teaching live from home, we have a 10 & 4yo to occupy. Both are missing friends & desperate for our attention, so I work whenever I can then catch up in the evening (been working past midnight most nights).

It's completely unsustainable.

Friends have said how they're coping by meditating, yoga & reading - Id love to do all of these but I get absolutely no time. I feel like I'm sinking.

tootiredtospeak · 31/03/2020 13:16

Yup DP working 35hrs me 26hrs over the week with a 7yr old and a 3yr old. Taking it in 3hr shifts. 6 till 9 9 till 12 12 till 3 3 till 6 then finish off at night.

Bouncebacker · 31/03/2020 13:17

Yep, DCs are 5 and 8. I get up early and do a few hours of work, then DH works his normal working day and I hang out with the kids, then I do an hour or so in the evening and work both weekend days. It’s knackering but we are coping! My work is way more flexible and I largely work alone where as DH’s job involves online meetings all day

Teabaseddiet · 31/03/2020 13:18

And to add, several of us are classed as vulnerable, so I don't think schools etc will be back until September at the earliest. There's no way I can continue like this.

Toomanycats99 · 31/03/2020 13:18

I am! After seeing an advert for online Nannies to provide support I had a brainwave and roped in my non working sister to help with homework via FaceTime.

Takes pressure off me.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 31/03/2020 13:19

Depends how old your kids are and what they're like, doesn't it?

I have 10mo and 3.5yo. It wouldn't be safe to try to work without supervising them properly.

It's this kind of comment that is a bit annoying, because it's judgemental - other people are putting their DC at risk by doing what they have to. Someone on another thread said they couldn't work with a toddler the same age as mine because it wouldn't be safe, would be bad for their development and 'I don't want them to hear 'mummy's busy' more often than 'mummy will play with you''. Which is quite an irritating and judgemental thing to say in a thread of people who have no other choice than to do just that.

DonnaDarko · 31/03/2020 13:22

DP and I are working from home. I already did before this.

The hardest part is keeping our 3 year old entertained while working. He's our only child but he's used to being surrounded by several kids at nursery.

I feel bad that I can't give him all my attention.

Cremebrule · 31/03/2020 13:22

LisaSimpsonsbff there is a big difference though between having one child and having more. People aren’t saying it to put you down- it’s the reality. With one toddler you could get nap time and some tv time to work. That’s just not going to work as well for someone with a 10m old and 3 year old.

MotherOfAllNameChanges · 31/03/2020 13:23

Well it must be nice for the parents if the kids at your school op that you are at least setting & marking work.

Ours gave us a list of ideas that we might like to look at on the last day of school & then buggered off. No contact since then.

Both DH & I are expected to teach kids & wfh. I WISH i had been put on bloody furlough or was a sahm right now! Feel like I'm failing on all fronts 😢

Mammyloveswine · 31/03/2020 13:23

I have a 2 and 4 year old, also a teacher... DH is a keyworker so still going out to work for 12 hours...

It's really fucking hard.

MotherOfAllNameChanges · 31/03/2020 13:24

Are you teaching still @Mammyloveswine ?

Boredofthisstagenow · 31/03/2020 13:24

Me. I miss nursery drop off and making pack lunches! Tbh, doing practically no work. DD is 3.

DefConOne · 31/03/2020 13:25

I’m working from home on a 70% contract, DH full time. I’m NHS research finance, so year end and setting up clinical trials at the moment. All on a network that is struggling with everyone WFH.

Kids are 12 and 9. The 12 year old is bright but has demand avoidant ASD. She does most of her homework in school and had lots of TA support. So we’re trying not to pressure her but also worried about how far behind she will be. I’m sure teachers are working hard but we haven’t had any specific support or guidance or contact. I’m not sure whether they are trying to avoid putting pressure on DD, or if we should be engaging. Too stressed to deal with it right now.

DD is in year 5 and is hoping to sit 11 plus. Don’t know what will happen about that now.

MotherOfAllNameChanges · 31/03/2020 13:25

And agree with @Cremebrule there is a V big difference between having 1 & more kids!!

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 31/03/2020 13:27

Me. DH is too but I’m taking the hit. I’m nearly at breaking point. The thought of a further lockdown is sending me to despair and I couldn’t cope. I would honestly break it and risk arrest.

moleeye · 31/03/2020 13:28

Me

Really struggling. Have a 5 year old and 13 month old. I only returned from maternity last week and it's incredibly difficult.

Partner is self employed and is wfh as well as we need the money.

I already feel like this isn't sustainable.

Thankfully my other half is more than pulling his weight.

I'm worried about money and emotionally eating the 3 stone ive just lost 😥😥

LisaSimpsonsbff · 31/03/2020 13:29

I'm sure that's true and I'm sorry, you're right that I wasn't taking enough account of the fact that several boxes has two children. I have seen plenty of the 'well, I simply COULDN'T' posts from people with one, though, and I do think they're mixing up 'I couldn't' and 'it would be shit and hard'

Mammyloveswine · 31/03/2020 13:30

@MotherOfAllNameChanges I'm in school on a rota basis but have a weekly list of of tasks to email to my head including reports, target setting, planning (yes just in case 😡), as well as daily online teaching for my class.

AllesAusLiebe · 31/03/2020 13:30

To be honest, if I had a child of school age, my input with schoolwork would be very minimal, unless they were at a crucial stage (final year etc).

I don't know how others are managing to home school and work simultaneously. I definitely couldn't and something would have to give.

In response to the question, DS (18 mo.), dh and I working from home in IT. In between ensuring that he doesn't injure himself and responding to his constant crying and whining, I'm not getting much done! I don't think this can be sustained for much longer as we're both catching up on work until late at night and we're already exhausted.