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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask how many people are WFH with no childcare right now?

219 replies

michaelbaubles · 31/03/2020 11:31

Seen a few comments on other threads at people incredulous that anyone was having to work from home with no childcare, and I thought surely a huge amount of people are?

Check in here - I'm teaching, full time from home (basically working 8.30-4 on and off, no live lessons but setting and marking work, chasing up students and responding to messages and emails all day), and I have 2 DC, 6 and 8 here too.

DP is here but he is also working from home (freelancer, has to keep hustling and chasing up funding to get any money at all).

OK I wouldn't normally be working like this but some posters are acting like it's literally impossible - it isn't - it's hard but we have to do what we can.

OP posts:
Ginblooded · 31/03/2020 12:40

Me! I'm working from home full time with a 9 year old. He is a very social creature and has always struggled to entertain himself for long, if I leave him too long he will just gravitate towards the Xbox.
To be honest, I am finding it really hard work.
I'm trying to work flat out all morning (8-12) have 2 hrs off to have lunch and do some bits with my son, and make up the hours in the afternoon/evening.

He has dyslexia so needs quite a bit of support doing any written work.

Can't wait until this is all over!

ChanklyBore · 31/03/2020 12:40

I have always WFH or studied from home or both throughout my children’s lives and I haven’t used childcare. So I’ve had a lot of experience in this. They are school age now so it is different to suddenly have them home all day, and yes it is easier now than when they were babies and toddlers. Now I have to deal with a lot of boredom and frustration at not being allowed out or to see their friends, and I’m not able to take them out for a break. But they can work on some things independently. I have to say that trying to get my head around schoolwork of all different subjects with children or different ages is challenging too, trying to persuade a young primary DC to do any schoolwork at all is like pulling teeth right now. The older S, can do the work but have questions about it that don’t match my experience - ie I know how to solve that maths problem but it isn’t the way they were taught, so we tie ourselves up in knots of confusion.

The silver lining is that throughout my previous years of WFH with kids, babies, toddlers, I was doing it solo and now DH is at home as well, so that’s massively easier as we can split it.

StrawberryBlondeStar · 31/03/2020 12:40

Both parents wfh. 3 children 8 and under. My work is more flexible so I am having to work more evenings and weekends and looking after children in day.

opticaldelusion · 31/03/2020 12:41

Your job cant exactly be done from home so you don't grasp what it's actually like having to work and teach young children

And the competitive parenting award goes to.... ^^ Grin

simplekindoflife · 31/03/2020 12:43

Yeah, my husband and I are both juggling wfh with a 7 and 5 year old. I'm part time but we're both very busy.

Work have not been that flexible either... Hmm

MaltbyMaeve · 31/03/2020 12:44

Yep wfh with a 1 and 3 year old! Doing shifts with DH but obviously means working hours are significantly reduced. Work being very understanding so far.

44PumpLane · 31/03/2020 12:44

Yep..... Its also one of my busiest times of year at the minute.

I'm wfh trying to fit it all in with two 3 year old twins.

DH is self employed so has pretry much given up this week so I can Tey and get on, but next week we will be back to the routine I started a fortnight ago where I work 6am to 1.30pm without breaks, then he goes out to work when I take over and I can log back on after bedtime to finish stuff off.

The only saving grace being no video conference calls so I can shower the nigtt before and in the morning I'm up and working within 5 minutes.

I'm exhausted, DH is exhausted and I'm also getting sick of seeing memes about "now we will consider teachers to be the heroes they are"....... Yes, I wouldn't wish to be a teacher, and I'm sure it's tough. But very few jobs these days are a walk in the park and to be fair the care assistants and nurses on low grade pay doing physically and mentally harmful (to themselves) work deserve the "hero" memes more.

Though I coiod just be being grumpy because I'm tired and stressed!

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 31/03/2020 12:46

I’m WFH with my 7 and 10yo. They’re getting on with schoolwork, crafts, exercise and down time. DP and I put together a homeschooling timetable when this first kicked off so we just set up each evening for the next day. They’re doing pretty well but still need quite a bit of input. It’s tiring.

I can’t imagine what this would be like with younger children. We’re technically key workers (med-tech getting products into hospitals but my team is office-based) and my workplace has said if you’re not keeping up with work at home then you have to come into the office. I’m letting one of my team WFH with a 2yo and said I’m happy as long as we don’t drop any major balls.

CastleCrasher · 31/03/2020 12:47

Yep. DC are 5 and 2. Both of us now ft wfh, with me involved in emergency response so 'ft' is probably 70 hours a week at the moment. Am exhausted but trying not to show it to DC who are doing their best considering their ages. Seeing my manager in a new light though- always knew he was quite hands off and I liked it, but he's basically disappeared since this but, despite supposedly working ft and not having DC or other dependents to sort out. Hmm

pitterpatterrain · 31/03/2020 12:50

We’re both WFH home with 3 and 6yo splitting time. Mainly on calls with video during my bit of the working day plus a late shift to try and catch up once they are in bed

Work are excellent re understanding, we are just hectic as a team right now

coffeeagogo · 31/03/2020 12:50

Yes working at least 9 hours a day juggling my 10 year old and 8 year old - constantly on conference calls, is challenging but all my colleagues are understanding and many are in the same situation. DH is a key worker and out of the house or asleep so it is what it is!

ScatteredMama82 · 31/03/2020 12:54

Yep. DH still has to work (military) and I'm set up to wfh. Kids are 5 & 10. The 10 year old is fine, he can get on with things himself. The 5 year old needs me to work with him. It's not easy, but I do bits of work through the day and if I have a conference call I make sure they are installed infront of the TV beforehand! I catch up in the evenings. I'm shattered, not going to lie but lots of people are in the same boat.

Tulipstulips · 31/03/2020 12:55

Presumably as a teacher you might find it at least a little easier to manage teaching your children while working from home, than people with no experience are finding it?

DH and I can both wfh and are sharing looking after DS(5)... I work part time so that makes it a bit easier. We do 2 hours on, 2 hours off during our scheduled hours, keeping hold of our work mobiles while looking after DS, and if one of us has a conference call or similar, the other takes over. Then we make up the time at weekend or evening. It’s worked ok in the past when DS has had a day off for illness but it’s not sustainable long term.

carrie0707 · 31/03/2020 12:57

I’m a teacher and I’m having to teach live lessons (filmed and recorded live) to my teaching timetable! That and plan, mark, chase etc.....
Plus I have 2 kids aged 7 and 9 whom I’m supposed to be supervising learning at home and 2 quite large dogs that need exercising! Let’s just say, some of my lessons have included some non-planned scenes in the background!! We just have to muddle through the best we can like so many people at the moment.

AlunWynsKnee · 31/03/2020 12:57

Yes we are. I do 80% hours because I have a chronic condition that tires me out. One of the dc is self sufficient but very lonely. The other one in Y4 is fighting against any school work at all. I feel like I am doing nothing well right now. I slept very badly last night and don't feel well at all. :(

WhateverHappenedToBathPearls · 31/03/2020 12:58

Yep DP and I are both WFH. We have a 2 year old at home with us and no childcare. Technically we are both meant to be putting in full time hours. Thankfully both employers are being understanding. For now.

myself2020 · 31/03/2020 12:58

Everybody i know does. we have a toddler and a early primary age child, its hard.
i genuinely don’t know anybody who is bored/looking for things to do. we all do 18 hour days

missyelloww · 31/03/2020 12:59

I think we may have been on the same thread earlier, was thinking about posting this myself before I came across your thread!

DP and I are both working from home. We have a 1 year old DD. DP is either on the phone or video call from 9-5 so is limited in what he can do.

Our day goes(ish):
4am - I wake up, start working
7am - DD and DP wake up
7:30am - We all go out for a walk
8:30am - Breakfast
9am - DP and I work whilst DD plays independently
11am - I stop working and play with DD
12:30pm - Lunch
1:30pm - DD goes down for a nap, usually for 1-2 hours. I carry on working
3:30pm - Take DD out into the garden
5pm - DP finishes work, takes over with DD whilst I cook dinner
Evening - DP tidies up after dinner whilst I put DD to bed. I tidy the house whilst DP does his hobby. I go to bed not long after DD does, and DP stays up and does all the bits and bobs that need doing (putting washing away etc).

I am absolutely exhausted, but you've got to do what you've got to do!

notyourmummy · 31/03/2020 13:00

I'm working from home with a 2yo and an 8yo. It's really hard, especially as my husband is front line NHS staff and working extra hours due to shortages. But it's doable, mostly by multitasking and doing loads of work after the children have gone to bed. I'm exhausted though.

flumposie · 31/03/2020 13:00

Single parent. Working side by side with my 10 year old. Managing so far but will be more complicated after Easter.

SushiGo · 31/03/2020 13:00

There must be millions of us!

I'm in the office 1 day a week (keyworker) but wfh the rest of the time. Husband is also wfh full time.

Also trying to homeschool 3 primary aged kids, and their totally different SEN.

We're all exhausted.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 31/03/2020 13:01

WFH with a 21 month old - luckily there are two of us sharing childcare in shifts, but it's still hard! I find the MN incredulity about it incredibly annoying - it came up a lot on the 'one keyworker, sending DC to nursery' threads, with people patronisingly explaining that of course one simply can't WFH and look after a young child, as if millions and millions of people aren't doing exactly that, with no option.

There are a lot of people on MN though who just generally seem to find life a bit... hard, and insist it is impossible to do things that are actually just not desirable. You see it on threads on working, and especially working full time, where people insist it would just be impossible for them to work because who would take the baby to baby yoga and they might not get the chance to relax in the evening if they had to do cooking and cleaning then? 'Can't' and 'don't want to' get confused sometimes.

Asuitablecat · 31/03/2020 13:01

I am not teaching my kids. I am supervising vaguely while they complete work set. I am, as usual, spending more time on my big kids- especially those trying to do cw. I don't know how to teach primary age kids, so I'm not.

Dh wfh 3 times a week.currently. He is not a teacher. Guess who's putting more hours in though.

NemophilistRebel · 31/03/2020 13:04

Most people I know are.
Some have been furloughed but the vast majority are working from home with children at home.
Some are taking shifts, others are just winging it.
I’m sure most peoples work understand that this is a situation that can’t be helped right now

rottiemum88 · 31/03/2020 13:06

WFH with a 14 month old. My boss is fortunately quite understanding about working hours being flexed, but still expects as close to full working days as possible. Currently managing by taking shifts of looking after DS, with DH doing 8-12 and me 12-4 so we each get some consolidated time to do work throughout the day, then a few hours on an evening. It's exhausting and I'm worried about burning out if this goes on for a long time, in which case we'd have to look at sacrificing my income as the significantly lower of the two and request a period of unpaid parental leave. Hopefully it won't come to that...