to consider dd being a 'latch-key kid' at the age of 7?

[Rhubarb]

Here is the problem.

dd finishes school at 3.35, same time as I finish work. I have to pick up ds and get back here, latest I arrive here is 4.30, but it's usually more like 4.15.

At the moment we are paying £10 per session for dd to attend after school club including her tea.

She has her tea at 4pm, which I feel is too early. She misses out on her meal with the rest of us. The £10 is a flat rate until 6pm but obviously she doesn't stay until then.

I feel ripped off paying £10 for my dd to be looked after for 45mins, especially if I tell them not to feed her as I want her to eat with us.

The days I am stuck for care for dd are Mondays and Tuesdays, the other days are taken care of with after school activities, which run until 4.30pm and are free.

We are considering, just considering, the possibility of giving her a key. Opinions?

I wouldn't..can't imagine leaving my ds and he is 8.But understand your dilemma.Hope you get it sorted.

Call me a coward, but one of the reasons I wouldn't let a 7 year old stay by themselves, is not just because of the obvious risks, but because I would be afraid of being reported to Social Services by the neighbours. That would be one of the factors to take into consideration for me.

Another idea - what about an au-pair? Not a full time live in one - but one who is doing her 25 hours for her host family but wants to get another job to earn some more money and is free at those times? they're always looking for extra cleaning work, babysitting, etc. And lots of them only do mornings, or only do 2 whole days a week or whatever. So it might be worth putting a notice up or asking around at school if anyone's got an au-pair who wants extra hours.

Would definitely consider asking the elderly neighbours as it is only for a short time and presumably would not clash with their eating arrangements etc.They could all watch countdown or whatever together.

Rhubarb, I've read the thread rather quickly...

I'm not sure how far away from school you work- would it be feasible to pay a local taxi firm to pick dd up from school and drop her at your son's nursery, and you all travel home from there? Would that cost more than £10?

It's illegal, and for good reason. YABU.

It's not illegal shergar.

it is not illegal. There is no actual law that says when a child can be left, parents discretion, however, the law covering this is neglect. The reason being that a learning disabled child may be 16 but have a mental age of 16mths, so could you leave them?

I wouldnt chance it at that age. Its far too young. If you can sort out something else like that ex childminder then do so. but i really hope you dont go ahead and let her go home alone even if she is mature. I know your house is very near to the school but seven is just too young.

i don't think yabu to consider it, but i do think she's a bit young, hope you get something sorted for Tue's and then just pay for the one evening until she's a bit older

In your shoes I would consider it as a serious option. You know your child and your circumstances.

When I was 8 I was doing the same thing - but I was a very sensible 8 year old! I also had my 6 year old brother with me. my Mum was at Uni some days and in those days (nearly 40 years ago ) there weren't such things as "out of school" clubs.

We have just (as of Monday, his birthday) started letting ds, age 7, walk to school on hos onw. It's a 10-15 minute walk and it does involve crossing some roads, but we have been training him for along time. At the moment we are still following him (mush to his disgust) to check that he is still following the rules - but I think it is good to give him some independence and slef-reliance.

Would your dd's school be prepared to let her wait in the office for you on those days? If parents are late to pick up at my dd's school the children are taken to the office. I think if you were regularly "late" they would not be happy but if you agreed it upfront they might be happy to do it. I assume your dd is sensible (you wouldn't be considering the latch key option if she wasn't) so it shouldn't be any trouble for the school. I know they won't want to make this sort of arrangement widespread but my experience is that they are much more sympathetic to the childcare issues of teachers and school staff so it might be worth asking.

How far away is the school you work at?
Could you not get a mum from school or a Taxi to pick up your DD and bring her to you at "your" school and then you can both go home together?
It does seem daft paying £10 for an out of school club for less than 1hr.
When i was seven i used to walk home at 6yrs old over 1 mile and through the woods! My mum could have picked me up but she had depression and was always fast asleep when i let myself in.
Talk to your DD and see what she wants to do.
AB

Have only skimmed through but if I were in your situation I would ask the local vicar if he would mind mentioning your need during his sunday service - you wouldn't then need to impose on your neighbours (who might be embarassed). If you used local church you would probably find someone 'community-spirited' locally who could help. I'm not a regular at church (hahahahahahaha..) but whenever I have gone to services these kinds of things are just thrown in at the end with the usual stuff about WI coffee mornings and so on...

The latch-key thing just isn't an option IMHO. Chances are nothing would happen, but what if something DID happen?

I've scanned through this thread - and have a long term solution. Have you thought about going on the committee for your after school club? If you do you could then suggest having a staggered payment - mine charges from home time until 5pm (£7.10) and then from 5 - 6pm (another (£2.85). I'm sure you are not the only one who uses the club who doesn't use the whole session and you may find your suggestion very popular. You could also go along to the AGM and suggest it if you don't want to join the committee.

You are lucky that your dd gets tea at the after school club - my dd1 is there until 6pm and just gets a 'healthy snack' - as the unhealthy pasta & cheese type options were slated by OFSTED!!

I hope you get something sorted - I'm sure all us working Mums empathise with you situation.

Whilst I agree with most of what is said on this thread I am a bit surprised at the strength of some of the reactions. I know several children at my DC's school who let themselves out of their houses in the morning and take themselves off to school because their parents' shifts start at 7am or some such ungodly hour. And many who walk home from school and let themselves in afterwards and wait alone for one of their parents to come home. Possibly not at the age of 7, but certainly by Year 4 or 5. My 10 and 8yr olds love having the independence to go home on their own - I often go into school at 3.10, make sure they are OK and then let them walk home whilst I drive the car back. They have even had to walk home (once) when I was stuck in a meeting a little late. Admittedly I would only ever countenance it for up to an hour maybe and not very often, but the principle is fine I think. DS will be walking/cycling to school and back everyday when he starts at secondary school next year.

Not saying the rhubarb should do the latchkey thing but I am taken aback by some of the reactions here.

I think, for your own peace of mind I would still have your dd go to the after-school care facility for those 2 days. As you have said, it is the only childcare provision in the area and is over-subscribed. It is perfectly possible that at some point in the future one of your dd's after school clubs is cancelled, and you would be without childcare for that day. If you 'burn your bridges' (so to speak) you may find it difficult to get your child back into the after-school club if you need it in the future.

Also, have you asked about some flexibility in your working hours? I used to work in a school, and I know that they were very amenable to flexible working with the LSAs. A couple had to leave 15 minutes early in order to collect their children from infants school; they just made this time up in other areas, either by starting earlier or working for seom portion of thier lunch break. It would be well worth asking your LSA co-ordinator, you never know.

In answer to the question, though, I think 7 is too young. My daughter IS latch-key kid (what an awful term!), so I am not judging you from up on high, I know difficult this juggling act is. But my dd is 11 and in senior school, I really wouldn't have considered her mature and confident enough at the age of 7. If I were you I would just accept having to pay the £20 (swearing furiously all the way), it's actually a cheap price for peace of mind.

I was talking about this with my parents recently - about how children of today are not expected to have the same freedoms that we enjoyed as a children, and how I was determined to give ds that freedom (hence him having started to walk to school at 7).

I said that the only risk that I accepted as having increased was that of traffic (hence we have worked very hard with ds to teach him traffic awareness). My dad pointed out it wasn't just that: that (UK) society's attitudes had changed. Nowadays, if something were to happen to a child, opprobrium would be heaped on the child's parents for "letting" it happen, as opposed to blaming the perpetrator of the crime (f the child had been abducted or run over by a speeding car). Also, accidents can no longer "happen", it always has to be someone's fault.

Interesting that in some of the MMcC threads, people have pointed out that other nationalities, eg Germans and Swiss are much more comfortable than leaving children for short periods thant the UK/Oz/Kiwis.

rhubarb - sorry - haven't had time to read all the posts but would it be possible to ask one of her friends' parents to take her for a bit on those days? Don't know if you work ft, but could you do a swap?
I couldn't leave my 7 year old. Not that she would be silly, I just would be anxious and thinking what if what if what if all the time.
It's a really personal thing though.

Hi Rhuby

I think that 7 is too young even for an old and responsible 7. I was a latchkey child for all of the secondary school piece and I think it did me good and taught me some responsibility. But 7 is too young IMO.

Good luck!

I was a latchkey kid from 7ish - my mum used to employ a cleaner who would be there working when I got home from school (certainly for the first few years)

Rhubarb

I think she is too young - you would never forgive yourself if anything happend to her. My son was 7 in June and the other day he admitted he "owns" a box of matches! I was horrified and asked where he got them and he had found them on the pavement and tucked them into his pocket without me noticing.

I think 7 yr olds are very curious and keen to be grown up but still quite immature in themselves and the judgements they make.

Perhaps you could arrange for her to go home with another Mum on those days and you could reciprocate on the days you can get there for the school pick up? That's what the Mums do at our school on the days they work. Or maybe use a CM and just pay for one hour.

Or perhaps, as some have suggested, leave her in the club until a bit later and get your money's worth.

I sympathise as I have similar logistical nightmare's myself!

Spot on, Prettybird, about attitudes have changed, not the world. I grew up in an area with busy traffic, traffic around where I live now is actually MUCH lighter than when I was young -- and yet I was walking to school 1/2 mile each way alone at 7, staying at home alone from 8.

Fear of Social Services calling -- agree that clouds my feelings, too.

On the other hand, I am a partial-hypocrite because I wouldn't let my DC do all the things I was allowed as a child, I just know too much about the possible risks, don't we all(?).

For what it's worth I think I'd consider it. My dd is also 7 and is far more capable and independent than my dd of 9. I know I could trust her not to do anything daft and the burglar, being followed etc possibilites are so remote really. When I was a kid people did this sort of thing all the time.

If you think she'd be OK I'd give it a try.