To not want to risk my family’s health because my BIL can’t be bothered to be a father?

[TheNightKing]

My DH’s brother is split from his wife after he had an affair when she was 8 weeks pregnant with a baby they had tried a long time for. They have a 5 year old and the baby is now almost six months.
With all the supermarket rules (no children) and also my ex-SIL not wanting to risk her DC’s health, she was asking if I would sit with them whilst she went shopping. At first I agreed and then worried about the possibility that I may have CV without knowing it and pass it on to the kids. So I offered to go to the supermarket for her. She will need food in the next 2-3 days.
Since I’ve offered I have started to feel really anxious about CV. Of course I want to help my ex-SIL and my niece & nephew but I have three children of my own and with no need to go to the shops myself, I am starting to really resent BIL for not being a father and literally putting food on his kids table. I asked DH to say something to his brother but he said there is no point because he won’t change his behaviour.
Would I be unreasonable to tell BIL how I feel?

I think Nan in law was quite tough on MIL as a little girl but also wasn’t that great as a parent from various things I know. MIL in turn learn to routinely lie in order to avoid being told off and then, later in life, to avoid taking responsibility for her actions or being seen as the bad guy. BIL has in turn learnt this (and adultry) from MIL as well as believing he is always a victim. SIL1 has trust issues due to MIL lies and adultry (so?) and I think possibly has severe body issues. SIL2 is secretive boarding on being a liar because from a young age MIL encouraged her to keep secrets about MIL’s life from her siblings. It’s a fucked up family but DH seem to have escaped reasonably unscathed somehow. He credits a lot of it to his two best friends who he has known since he was 11 and he looked up to (they are 1-2 years older which obviously makes a difference when your 11).

He also knows that after the backlash I got for ignoring him and OW at a family meal that I felt very hurt as I always felt I was just one of their family, having been in it for a long time, but it became glaringly obvious that the feeling wasn’t mutual towards me

I did put the phone down on the Nan in the end last time as I was starting to lose my temper. The whole family are slightly dysfunctional and DH is the only one that doesn’t appear to either have issues with lying, trust issues or someone who thinks they are never wrong and that they are hard done by in life.

I did bother to read your posts. If you had actally bothered to say your husband contacted his nan and told her not to talk to you like that then I would not have posted what I did. It is only conveniently in your second to last post you have drip fed that info.

Glad your dh is a fantastic support. But even if BIL doesnt listen, he's not nothing to lose by calling him out on his shabby behaviour. The more people leave him to act that way, the more entitled he will be