Husband and I not spoken all day.. AIBU

[Lonelylockdown33]

This morning my husband and I had the most stupid argument but im refusing to say sorry as I don’t feel I’m in the wrong, but please tell me otherwise if you think I am to blame.

Any recycling we have I leave in the utility room and will take it outside whenever we go out. (We use the garage door to leave/enter the house via the utility room). He totally flipped out about how I’m being lazy for not putting the recycling in the garage and I’m making it more difficult for myself by leaving it in the utility. He complains when he needs to use the sink in the utility that he can’t (he never uses it, and the recycling is left next to the sink). I told him it really doesn’t make any difference and he just got angrier.

I called him a control freak (he is massively OCD and will ask/tell me to clean things certain ways) and he started shouting saying to me how I go running to my mum and dad and slag him off and he bets I tell all my friends about him, I actually don’t as I’m too embarrased.

Should I just back down and take everything into the bloody garage from now on to stop him complaining or is there nothing wrong with what I’m doing?

If it's bothering him so much, what's stopping him taking it out to the garage?

Perhaps his OCD is magnified in the current climate? YANBU but better to find a compromise for both of you. Could you not have a small recycling box that's out the way?

How long is it left in the utility room for? Does it smell?

“Who is right” just isn’t the right question here. You’re a team and need to find ways to work together.

I think he's so paranoid about you telling people because he clearly knows he's being a controlling dick.

Why can’t he move it if it is bothering him ?

“Who is right” just isn’t the right question here. You’re a team and need to find ways to work together

This.

You're both a bit in the wrong but that's not the point. In my house, one of us would apologise for their part, then the other would relent and apologise hen itd be over. It's a good system.

It's a shame A&E departments are busy.
Removal of a recyclable item from a bum would be interesting paperwork to fill in...

There seems to be a lot of mansulking around at the moment. My other is currently walking round with a face like a slapped rse snapping at me all the time. His workplace is currently closed so he's bored and spending hours each day playing bl*dy football manager. I'm working from home, getting up and doing workouts, and generally keeping myself busy most of the time. I think tbh my hubby is more pissed off with his own lack of movement than anything I've done. 😂. YANBU....its his problem. Leave him to sulk it out.

“Who is right” just isn’t the right question here. You’re a team and need to find ways to work together.

I've reported this comment for violating talk guidelines as it is not in the 'spirit of the site'.

Leave the bastard.

But does he have actual OCD, as in a mental illness or are you using it flippantly for someone who is a bit controlling and overly clean?

Because that makes a huge difference, IMO.

Can't you just do what makes the other happy? Life's too short...how hard would it actually be to do as he's asking? If it's not hard at all, then do it!

He sounds very anxious. He needs to stop being a dick though. If he wants it in the garage then he can move it.

And graciously, not in a huffy way. You got married so you must love each other?

I think you’ve ended up with my ex husband

So you know he is massively OCD and you want to know if other people (who probably are not massively OCD) think if there is nothing wrong with what you are doing?

I am really sorry to sound like a twat, but I think it is very unkind towards your husband to not be conciderate of him and his ocd at this very moment. So yes, I think you should be taking everything to the garage.
And then when things are normal again see how you want to handle this ocd thing going forward.

Can't you just do what makes the other happy? Life's too short...how hard would it actually be to do as he's asking? If it's not hard at all, then do it!

Terrible advice for someone living with a controlling man!

Does he actually have OCD?

@donquixotedelamancha

Its pretty unhappy.in my.house.too today

he is massively OCD and will ask/tell me to clean things certain ways

This isn't OCD. This is controlling you. If he were OCD he'd feel compelled to do it himself.
Feeling "compelled" to order you about is a different problem.

I notice it doesn't bother him enough to get him off his arse to do it himself. Why would that be ?

Can't you just do what makes the other happy? Life's too short...how hard would it actually be to do as he's asking? If it's not hard at all, then do it!

Sorry. Wtf?

There’s a lot of childish, sulky blokes around at the moment.
Why can’t he put it in the garage himself?!

Why would you leave a bundle of cans, bottles, cardboard, possibly food waste and bits of plastic in a room that is supposed to be clean when walking ten more steps would have it completely out of the house, out of sight and out of smelling distance?

That's like mine leaving bundles of rubbish (recyclable, but still rubbish) in the kitchen on the freezer or by the front door. Just take it out so nobody has to look at it.