Husband and I not spoken all day.. AIBU

[Lonelylockdown33]

This morning my husband and I had the most stupid argument but im refusing to say sorry as I don’t feel I’m in the wrong, but please tell me otherwise if you think I am to blame.

Any recycling we have I leave in the utility room and will take it outside whenever we go out. (We use the garage door to leave/enter the house via the utility room). He totally flipped out about how I’m being lazy for not putting the recycling in the garage and I’m making it more difficult for myself by leaving it in the utility. He complains when he needs to use the sink in the utility that he can’t (he never uses it, and the recycling is left next to the sink). I told him it really doesn’t make any difference and he just got angrier.

I called him a control freak (he is massively OCD and will ask/tell me to clean things certain ways) and he started shouting saying to me how I go running to my mum and dad and slag him off and he bets I tell all my friends about him, I actually don’t as I’m too embarrased.

Should I just back down and take everything into the bloody garage from now on to stop him complaining or is there nothing wrong with what I’m doing?

STOP it OP.

Let him do his own special cleaning.

He sounds like a nasty, controlling piece of work. Sorry.

So what does he do with recycling?

Take it straight out?

Or is it all up to you?

If it's up to you, do it how the fuck you want!

Does he or does he not have diagnosed OCD?

He can do it.

Did I miss something?

Has he got a problem with his arms and legs that render him incapable of taking it out or cleaning on his hands and knees ?

That sort of thing irritates me too. Realistically how much extra time would it take to put it straight into the garage if it stresses him out?

if he really has ocd and your not just offensively using that term like peol e like to do then he will be going absolute batshit in the current climate so you need to support him to work through it or come to a way that works for both of you.

Hi OP,
Why do you feel you have to go along with his ridiculous requests to scrub the floors on your hands and knees?

Are you afraid of how he will react if you say no?

Do you really want to carry on living with such a controlling and manipulative sod?

Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this? He's not going to change, is he?

Perhaps his OCD is magnified in the current climate? YANBU but better to find a compromise for both of you

And you need to have a conversation about him speaking to his GP about his rigid ways and possible OCD.
I say this as someone with diagnosed OCD. (Medication & CBT) & my DH frequently cracks and moans that “it’s always got to be done your way”. Well yes, because with OCD it’s distressing when it’s not done a certain way, that’s the whole issue. I wold love not to feel so distressed and on the verge of hyperventilating over a simple cleaning issue. I don’t blame DH for getting frustrated, it’s hard for both people in a couple dealing with someone’s OCD.

I have OCD, and it drives me insane. It doesn't drive anyone around me insane though, because I would never, ever dream of insisting someone else pander to it. If it has ME on my hands and knees cleaning the skirting boards (I'm a lot better now) then fine, but I would never ask anyone else to do it for me. I have several friends with OCD to varying degrees too, and none of them would ever behave like that either.

Him making you do things to satisfy his OCD is not on. Him accusing you of telling people shows that he knows he's in the wrong, and shows that you shouldn't be pandering to it. He needs help