To ask are all men selfish?

[Gre8scott]

I notice a trend in my friends stories of the men in their lifes and how most of then are selfish. Even if they are family men and they dont spend all day in the pub (per covid 19)
They still do things like make everyone go in the garden cos they want to be outside.
Golf on a Saturday cos they've been working all week although wife had been with baby
Pushed themselves at work will wife has stepped back to have family
Just have a bath even if family need something
Are all men like that

@AngstyAnnie
I kinda try and keep hope alive too...
But then i see the men around me and i feel like an idiot for having such foolish dreams.

@MonkeyDishwasher what a surprise, another nasty comment. You certainly sound hateful and bitter.

Op’s question is entirely reasonable.

@AngstyAnnie oh sorry, I didn't that you'd met every single Male that has ever walked the face of this earth. Oh well, guess you must ne right then. Do you hear yourself? Imagine I said that I've 'met' you, so therefore I must conclude that all women are bitter, sullen and incapable of rational thought? Wouldn't go down well would it?

It's called empathy, you might want to try it some time.

The men in my life whether it be partners, friends, dads or husbands of friends are brilliant people.

@MrsCrabapples I'm bitter? Haha, oh that did give me a laugh. The lack of self awareness in this thread is truly unbelievable. Its like none of you have ever looked in a mirror, metaphorically.

And come on, with a username like yours, are you really going to tell me that you're not bitter? Case of the pot and the kettle I'd say.

MonkeyDishwasher I think you should take your own advise about that empathy....

Hmm, maybe all people are inherently selfish to varying extents and men just happen to have a favoured place in society which allows them to act on that selfishness more than women?

To answer the original question:

No.

No more than all women are [insert stereotypical female behaviour here].

My kids sometimes say, "Can I ask you a stupid question..."
And I say to them, "There's no such thing as a stupid question; if you need to know something just ask."

I think you just proved me wrong.

@Youcanstay Why on earth would I want to show empathy for a bunch of people, so blinded by bitterness, that they can't be rational or reasonable? I really have no interest in knowing what it's like to walk a mile in their shoes thank you. Especially when they show not one ounce of it themselves. I think might want to check your bias.

In my experience they are. Sorry.

Nearly all the ones I dated were selfish, lazy and ignorant so I binned them. There was the odd one that was but we weren’t compatible in other ways.
I need to stop dating mummies boys!

Unfortunately I know lots of stupid selfish men. I think because the main ‘man’ in my life growing up (not my wonderful DDad) is an arsehole, and I was encouraged to placate his arseholiness. So unfortunately that is what I somehow gravitate to. Ducking depressing tbh

Obviously not all of them are. Lots of these answers are testament to that. Unfortunately my DH is. He doesnt mean to be, he just doesn't realise. I've realised its probably the way he was brought up. His mum is very self centred too. On the other hand my father is very unselfish.

Sweeping generalisations aside, I do think they tend to get away with more because less is expected of them.

I agree!

Men are much more selfish than women imho.

My ex mother in law was an absolute selfish woman. She used to dictate everyone and then sulk if she didn't get her own way.
She was so so lazy as well do dictation became natural and there was always an excuse why she couldn't get off her ass.

MonkeyDishwasher calm down petal, you're getting your @'s all muddled

No. My husband is incredibly unselfish. Does way more than his share of the house work, even though we both work the same hours. I can’t so much as mention something I need (drink / phone charger / whatever) without him leaping up to get it. He’s incredibly thoughtful about plans and always discusses with me first if he’s thinking about doing something on an evening or weekend. He wakes earlier than me at weekends and he will always use that time to clean up any mess, or do the ironing. He’s the most supportive, thoughtful, gentle, caring person in the world. In all the years we’ve been together he has never let me down.

A lot of men are selfish pricks - but not all of them, and it’s not necessary to put up with them if they are.

I really do believe that childhood, the men in your life growing up, the women in your life growing up, all influence the kind of partner you choose.

Repetition of learned relationship models etc.

You can choose to break the cycle, or you can repeat patterns then end up thinking 'oh men are all the same, so I won't set the bar too high, there's no point'

We'll set the bar fucking higher. There are decent blokes out there. Stop settling!!!!

Anyone can be a selfish arsehole. Nothing to do with gender, all to do with the person.

DP is an essential worker and as I have various health issues which means my immunity is buggered so I'm self isolating and he is staying with his parents. He isn't a very romantic bugger but I love him.

He has been texting and phoning every day and this Friday came round with a bag of antibacterial wipes, handwash, my fav crisps, a cake and milk and bread and dreamies for the cats. He'd wiped all the packages with his own wipes and then we had a natter with the front door open whilst he stood more than 2 meters away before he had to go to work.

He is terrified I'm going to get ill... never seen him so scared and he is a tough old boot.

So no, not all men are selfish. Some are but there are just as many selfish women out there IMO.

My boyfriend has stayed good friends with his now ex wife. They co parent very well. He stays with them/her every 2 weeks.

He is able to communicate. He listens when I communicate. He generally puts other people first but he isn't a walk over.

Boys and girls are socialised differently. The result is usually that girls grow up to put others first, and that boys grow up to be much more selfish.