Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have cut next door’s shrub back to the fence?

86 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 28/03/2020 14:59

Moved into our current home in December. This week was the first time it’s really been nice enough to spend much time in the garden, so I used the time to neaten things up a bit. The fence that we share with our neighbours has a trellis bit at the top where a lot of their plants are poking through. One shrub in particular was coming through to the point where we had to duck round it to get down the path at the side of the house. I cut the shrub back just to the fence so didn’t go into their side of the boundary at all. It wasn’t easy as it must have been growing through for quite some time.

Today while I was taking DS for a walk Mrs NDN spoke to DH, she’s quite pissed off at what I did. She said she could see what I was doing the other day but thought I was just pruning, not cutting right back to the fence. Apparently I should have asked for permission first. She’s doubly upset because apparently the shrub was a gift from her DM who has passed away since.

DH thinks I ought to write a note of apology. I probably will but to be honest I don’t really think I should have to... the only part of the shrub I touched was on our side of the boundary, so I don’t really see how it affects them at all. AIBU?

OP posts:
TheReluctantCountess · 28/03/2020 15:00

Yanbu. It was hanging into your garden.

LockdownLonely · 28/03/2020 15:01

YANBU

Eleanorrrelephant · 28/03/2020 15:01

I thought you were supposed to ask for permission then give the clippings back to the person who owns it

JewelTheft · 28/03/2020 15:01

You are allowed to cut back to the boundary, you're not in the wrong but a conversation to acknowledge her feelings and smooth things over would help neighbourly relations in the long term, I'd think.

Recoverandthrive · 28/03/2020 15:02

If it was on your side you are well within your right.

janebee4 · 28/03/2020 15:02

No, YANBU. Do not write an apology note, you've got nothing to be sorry for and she may take that as a green light to whinge at you for anything you do in future!

SherlocksDeerstalker · 28/03/2020 15:03

You don’t have to ask for permission, but you do allegedly have to offer cuttings back. Stupid.

OP you are allowed to cut back anything hanging into your property. I usually mention to my neighbours when I’m doing stuff like this, just to head off this sort of thing. I hate pointless confrontation over shrubs and stuff.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 28/03/2020 15:04

No you are entitled to cut back overhang to the fence.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 28/03/2020 15:04

I have no idea of the legalities, but I wouldn't do anything and I most definitely wouldn't apologise. She shouldn't be letting her shrub impede your use of your garden.

MamaDane · 28/03/2020 15:04

YANBU but it would be a good idea to have empathy for her situation. Be understanding and tell her you will let her know in the future regarding that particular shrub. Just a heads up.

Elouera · 28/03/2020 15:05

I too thought that legally you can trim what is overhanging on your side and throw it back onto their property! I personally wouldn't have thrown it back over, but you didn't do anything wrong by trimming a plant that she has clearly let run wild!

BambooWhoosh · 28/03/2020 15:06

YADNBU. I wouldn't apologise either.

Bluntness100 · 28/03/2020 15:06

There are two ways to look at this.

Were you legally within your rights. Yes. But you should have offered the clippings to her.

Would it have been polite to ask, and would it be polite to apologise and say you Didnt know the significance, and you’re sure it will come in stronger or something, yes, of course, neighbourly relations are important.

So your call. You can say fuck her, I was within my rights, and not apologise as some on here are suggesting, or you can have a little word next time you see her and smooth it over.

It’s up to you.

alittlequinnie · 28/03/2020 15:06

It depends on exactly how you cut it back I suppose.

I had a chicken wire and log fence once and there was a really beautiful rose growing all the way through it.

My neighbour decided to trim it but what she actually did was trim bits of it off right by the roots so all the branches that were growing through the fence died - seriously there was about 30 feet of beautiful big pink roses and the whole lot jhad to get trimmed back to nothing in the end.

I was really upset - didn't ever say anything to her though to be honest!

Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 28/03/2020 15:08

I didn’t offer the cuttings back, although they’re still in our garden waste bin so I can do, but would that be adding insult to injury at this point?

OP posts:
PurpleCrazyHorse · 28/03/2020 15:09

I would simply say that you cut it back to the fence as it was growing into your garden. Maybe suggest that next time you'll thread the growing bits back through the trellis so it grows down on her side. Also saves having to keep trimming it Grin

LellyMcKelly · 28/03/2020 15:09

YANBU. It’s her job to keep her bush under control.

Fuss · 28/03/2020 15:11

would that be adding insult to injury at this point?

Probably. Ignore her, you did nothing wrong at all. She's crackers.

Offering the cuttings back is polite but in reality most of us bin them. Never throw them over unsolicited though, that becomes fly tipping.

Eleanorrrelephant · 28/03/2020 15:12

but would that be adding insult to injury at this point?
Potentially but at least if you do it, she can’t accuse you of breaking that rule

slipperywhensparticus · 28/03/2020 15:13

Couldnt you have slid it out? Its trellis so big holes?

AmelieTaylor · 28/03/2020 15:13

You were within your rights to do it

However, did you even bother to check if it was an time to harshly chop it back?

You weren’t to know her mother gave it to her, but at the same time chopping something back so harshly I think you should show some regard for the best time to do it.

Babdoc · 28/03/2020 15:16

You have to live with this neighbour, possibly for years. I don’t think you need to apologise as you have done nothing wrong, but it would be good to mend the relationship a little.
When you next see her, maybe say that your DH mentioned the shrub had been a gift of her DM, and ask her about it, how long it has been, what her mum was like etc. Reassure her that you will be careful with future pruning, not to damage any roots or structural bits connected to her side, but just tidy up on your own side.

A bit of understanding could help to make good neighbourly relations.
I speak as one whose bastard neighbours savagely pruned my late DH’s memorial 30 foot weeping willow with chain saws 8 feet inside my boundary while I was out, and I sent the police round to them!
It soured relations from then on. And no, I never received an apology.

Eleanorrrelephant · 28/03/2020 15:17

I speak as one whose bastard neighbours savagely pruned my late DH’s memorial 30 foot weeping willow with chain saws 8 feet inside my boundary while I was out, and I sent the police round to them!
Oh my god wtf! That’s awful! AngryAngry

viques · 28/03/2020 15:17

I would have waited a bit to see what the shrub was, or asked, you might have cut back something beautiful that would have been an asset to your garden.

(Glances at next door who hacked back a small amount of my scented honeysuckle and white jasmine that was daring to encroach over the top of their 8 foot(yes honestly!) fence.

(They put up an 8 foot fence, and netting on top of that so they could play outdoor floodlit badminton at midnight.)

Hereforthenamethreads · 28/03/2020 15:19

Ynbu. She was being unreasonable to think she could take up space in your garden with her shrub. She should have apologized for doing so and for you having to cut it back yourself. I would not apologize beyond a 'sorry you are upset but this is our garden'.