To have cut next door’s shrub back to the fence?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Moved into our current home in December. This week was the first time it’s really been nice enough to spend much time in the garden, so I used the time to neaten things up a bit. The fence that we share with our neighbours has a trellis bit at the top where a lot of their plants are poking through. One shrub in particular was coming through to the point where we had to duck round it to get down the path at the side of the house. I cut the shrub back just to the fence so didn’t go into their side of the boundary at all. It wasn’t easy as it must have been growing through for quite some time.

Today while I was taking DS for a walk Mrs NDN spoke to DH, she’s quite pissed off at what I did. She said she could see what I was doing the other day but thought I was just pruning, not cutting right back to the fence. Apparently I should have asked for permission first. She’s doubly upset because apparently the shrub was a gift from her DM who has passed away since.

DH thinks I ought to write a note of apology. I probably will but to be honest I don’t really think I should have to... the only part of the shrub I touched was on our side of the boundary, so I don’t really see how it affects them at all. AIBU?

This is the saddest thing I've ever read on MN

Chardonnay

Yes, that post is grim. I can understand why the OP doesn't want her path blocked, I understand why she trimmed the bush. But the level of hostility on here towards plants and trees from some posters is bizarre.

@Wattagoose90
"My gosh I'd struggle to not be passive aggressive in that note..."

Well you'd be a twat if you did that. Many people are terrified at the possibility of losing vulnerable friends and family, at the moment and it's a real possibility. The neighbour gets comfort from the shrub that her Mother gave to her before she died. I get comfort from seeing my Mother's snowdrops and daffodils come back year after year.
That is usual for most people who've had a good relationship with their family.

The OP is right in her actions, but that doesn't mean that we can't show some compassion towards others. Not by a full on apology, but an acknowledgement of it being upsetting.

Now isn't the time to have petty squabbles with neighbours.

This is the saddest thing I've ever read on MN

Seriously? You've never read posts about bereavements, for instance?

Legally you are allowed to do that. However, I prefer not to fall out with or upset my neighbours and I would always ask first to keep the peace even though I know I can do it anyway.
I can't see the point in pissing off the neighbours unecessarily.
I remember once my aggressive next door neighbour leaned over the fence and cut my washing line off his fence post.
Ok it was legally his fence but he couldn't even have seen the line and it wasn't harming anyone. If he'd asked me nicely then of course I'd take the line down right away, but as it was his constantly agressive boarder patrolling meant we didn't talk for 10 years.

It's not just dislike, it's sheer hatred of anything that grows.

Utterly baffling. If anything we need more trees and shrubs and anything green if we want to survive as human race. But no, bad shrub!

Of course the op has done nothing wrong and all these posts of leave the plants to do their own thing and run wild are in fact the ones in the wrong.

Not only is it wrong to grow something that takes over someone else’s space but it is not good for plants or wildlife if one plant is allowed to take over.

We have a problem in this country with Japanese knot weed because the victorians saw a pretty plant in Japan and bought it over to uk gardens. JKW is not a problem in Japan as it has natural predators that keep it under control. These don’t exist in the uk and so hence we have a problem. The same is true of many plants just to a lesser degree.

I don't read every post on here. Do you?

Small garden, so every foot counts. Over the back have a vigourously growing hazel which makes it difficult to grow anything under it on my side. I am naughty that I cut it back slightly into their side, but that's because it has an awkward habbit of growing and rubbing into the fence making a hideous squeak as the fence and branches move and rub eachother in the breeze, so those offending branches are cut back slightly deeper. It makes no difference to the view from the neighbours house, and the bush quickly recovers. I cut it to allow a more natural shape on my side with a grading of foliage rather than long bare stems. The branches that come over 8-9ft plus are fine.

I have a pergola and enthusiastic clematis on the other side (pre-dates me moving in). If my other neighbour takes issue with it spreading over his shed and tidies it back to around the fence line, that's perfectly fine. I'd only take issue if he leaned a good foot in to remove the main stems. He doesn't seem to mind the free spring blooms though.

I did have a big hump when out former neighbours went a couple of feet into our garden and took the top of our newly establishing silver birch. It was a dick move for two reasons; first, that it was going to encourage a denser crown on the tree in the long term and secondly, the silver birch replaced six, sprawling, straggly leylandii that we cut down and dug out a few summers earlier. The silver birch was a hell of an improvement on those!

The rules of offering the greenery back come from the time when it was potentially firewood being removed from the owner. You'd have to be a very keen home composter to lament most domestic trimmings that overhang.

To be fair - I had a lovely honeysuckle growing rampant through the wire fence between my garden and next door. I quite understand why they cut it back... It was VERY prolific... But I ended up with dead bits on my side from where they had cut it further down the stem and I ended up with quite a straggly see-through plant covered fence rather than a lovely thick hedge of honeysuckle. They were quite within their rights to cut it back but it did affect what I had on my side of the fence. You were not wrong to cut it back but maybe next time you could discuss the best way to do it with your neighbour?

I think you should have mentioned it first to your neighbour. Pruning a plant too harshly or at the wrong time of year could kill or weaken it. I can’t bear ‘hack it all back’ gardeners. My next door neighbour is one and he cut down a beautiful flourishing plum tree in his garden just because he couldn't be bothered to mow around it. Now it’s a bare expanse of tedious lawn. Some people seem to hate nature, which makes me sad for them!