To have cut next door’s shrub back to the fence?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Moved into our current home in December. This week was the first time it’s really been nice enough to spend much time in the garden, so I used the time to neaten things up a bit. The fence that we share with our neighbours has a trellis bit at the top where a lot of their plants are poking through. One shrub in particular was coming through to the point where we had to duck round it to get down the path at the side of the house. I cut the shrub back just to the fence so didn’t go into their side of the boundary at all. It wasn’t easy as it must have been growing through for quite some time.

Today while I was taking DS for a walk Mrs NDN spoke to DH, she’s quite pissed off at what I did. She said she could see what I was doing the other day but thought I was just pruning, not cutting right back to the fence. Apparently I should have asked for permission first. She’s doubly upset because apparently the shrub was a gift from her DM who has passed away since.

DH thinks I ought to write a note of apology. I probably will but to be honest I don’t really think I should have to... the only part of the shrub I touched was on our side of the boundary, so I don’t really see how it affects them at all. AIBU?

@Bluntness100 The polite thing to do would be to not let your shrub encroach into other people's property.

I would cut anything that was on my property

We have a trellis between us and next door, we just poke the ends back through so it remains on their side.
I suppose if it was a lot coming through I'd prune a bit and put the rest back through again.
For neighbourly relationship I'd apologise and work out a way forward.

I think it would be interesting to go round and ask her to come out and tell her what she would have rather you did. In a friendly way I mean.

Then hopefully you can see if she is bonkers or not. If she is talking nonsense then maybe her saying it out loud to you will show her how silly she is being.

The conversation may help you maintain some good relations. Or it may not! At least it will show you what you are dealing with. for years to come

If it was encroaching on your garden as you describe then the neighbour is a CF. If she is that concerned about her shrub then she has the option of paying a professional to keep it trimmed. Or simply doing it herself. Anything you say is likely either to infuriate her or encourage her CF tendencies, so I would let it go, OP.

Not on topic but it does bother me that people go out in their garden at this time of year and hack everything back right when the birds are nesting, meaning lots of nests and eggs are lost.

She’s a loon. YANBU.

You were entirely within your rights so I wouldn't give it another thought.

She ought to be apologising to you for her shrub encroaching on your garden. She can't expect it to grow and grow as big as she likes and for you not to mind. It's a precious plant in her garden but no way can she expect it to be precious to you too and you just have to put up with it growing out of control. I think next time you see her you should acknowledge it but not in an apologetic way. Just say something like, "I understand my pruning upset you. That wasn't my intention but it was blocking our path. So it doesn't happen again perhaps you could keep an eye on it? That way we won't have the same issue every year"

She's a drama lama (my favourite MN term)

I would have done the same. Don't give it another thought.

You're entirely within your rights so don't apologise. I'm always cutting neighbours' triffids vegetation back although TBF no-one has ever whined at me about it.

Maybe you could offer her the chance to trim it herself next time. She can do the donkey work and you can 'neaten' it afterwards

I would offer her the cuttings back but would not apologise. I think that's batshit crazy.

@Babdoc I'm so sorry, that's awful.

Ignore her. If her poxy plant grows into your space (over the fence) then you are entitled to cut it back.
Don’t forget the cuttings are not yours and you must give them back to the owner, or in other words, Chuck the trimmings back over her fence!

She shouldn’t of let it over grown on your side so much.

Chuck the clippings back over her fence if she’s going to moan.

You haven't done wrong. It may be that by cutting off bits that wound into your side then back into hers that you've inadvertently killed off loads of stuff on her side (as our neighbours did to us). We later removed our trellis. Try not to fall out with your neighbours. I'd say apologise for an easy life and be wary of her in future.

She should be the one apologising. It's her responsibility to keep it neat. Our neighbour never looks after their garden so I have to spend my time cutting down their bushes, trees and plants. I don't have these in my garden by choice so don't see why I should have to maintain theirs.

It's a shrub FFS, they grow.

Let it grow, it's what brings life and joy into your garden. Don't be that miserable neighbour who goes round cutting things and killing the joy. \

It won't kill you, just let it be.

What harm are you going to come to if the plant comes into your garden?

@Maggieking Thanks for your pm I am sure that is against site rules.

She should be the one apologising. It's her responsibility to keep it neat. Our neighbour never looks after their garden so I have to spend my time cutting down their bushes, trees and plants. I don't have these in my garden by choice so don't see why I should have to maintain theirs.

This is the saddest thing I've ever read on MN.

I know all circumstances are different, but I had a similar issue with big feck off bush roses with masses of thorns falling over the dividing fence on my side.

I just Whatsapped our neighbour and said I would be trimming it down on my side, hope that's ok with you. He came into our garden and did it himself!

Lovely.