To have cut next door’s shrub back to the fence?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Moved into our current home in December. This week was the first time it’s really been nice enough to spend much time in the garden, so I used the time to neaten things up a bit. The fence that we share with our neighbours has a trellis bit at the top where a lot of their plants are poking through. One shrub in particular was coming through to the point where we had to duck round it to get down the path at the side of the house. I cut the shrub back just to the fence so didn’t go into their side of the boundary at all. It wasn’t easy as it must have been growing through for quite some time.

Today while I was taking DS for a walk Mrs NDN spoke to DH, she’s quite pissed off at what I did. She said she could see what I was doing the other day but thought I was just pruning, not cutting right back to the fence. Apparently I should have asked for permission first. She’s doubly upset because apparently the shrub was a gift from her DM who has passed away since.

DH thinks I ought to write a note of apology. I probably will but to be honest I don’t really think I should have to... the only part of the shrub I touched was on our side of the boundary, so I don’t really see how it affects them at all. AIBU?

'I would have waited a bit to see what the shrub was, or asked, you might have cut back something beautiful that would have been an asset to your garden.'

My goodness it was growing wild on to op's property and wasnt maintained. Cutting it back isnt destroying the plant and what would she do with the clippings?! Some strange views on this thread.

OP you did nothing wrong, maybe a note through the door to say you cut it back as it was blocking your path and on your property and sorry didnt get a chance to mention it to you first.

Too late now but it would have been polite to speak first and say your shrub is overhanging and I’ll need to cut it back. Then neighbour could have said if specific way or time to do it so not to be detrimental to it.

Yeah well I don't believe about the shrub having sentimental value for a moment, that's just a pretext. My horrible ex-neighbour saw me out in my garden with a friend cutting stuff back, and told my friend (not me, she didn't speak to me, ever) that they would be cutting their tree that overhung my garden back once it had fruited. This was in April and the tree fruits in October, when it does. She never did cut it back and never intended to, that was just her way of warning me off. It's a nice tree with very attractive leaves and I had no plans to cut it back anyway. So if I were you I would say you don't apologise and with any luck she'll keep the shrub in order in future.

MaggieKing I only have a small garden so there was no mowing or strimming involved, just a pair of secateurs, which I very much doubt made enough noise to disturb anyone. And I don’t have any plants that “encroach” onto their property, certainly none big enough to poke through the trellis at the top of the 5ft fence...

Legally you’re right - but just don’t get why people don’t just speak with their neighbours, whether before or smoothi n things over after distressing than

Most people know that anything growing on the other side can be cut back. I wouldn't make a big fuss over it. May be say nothing at all to her as she has said her piece to your partner so that's that. Least said soonest mended. Also you have not cut if off at the roots and she can let it grow as much as she likes at her side.

You don’t have to store anything belonging to your neighbours in your garden. That includes shrubs 🤷‍♀️

YANBU.

I'd have gone round and spoken to them first, then they'd have been able to offer to come round and poke the runners/branches back through.
I have a similar set up with a plant that prefers my neighbour's side of the fence as it's sunnier, if she chopped it off back to the fence it's likely the entire top portion would die off leaving the trellis bare and both of us having a clear view into one another's gardens.
So if it's becoming a pain she mentions it to me, I get my step ladder out, reach through and pull everything back I can and then she trims anything else. That way we're both happy.

My gosh I'd struggle to not be passive aggressive in that note...

"Dear NDN. I'm sorry about the bush. Unfortunately it doesn't look so nice our side of the fence, so it felt only right to take it back to the boundary. Next time it needs a trim, I'll invite you around to do the work".

YANBU

My neighbour called a few weeks ago before cutting back on his side of my leylandii hedge which is absolutely fine. I don't mind what he does on his side but he said he just felt he should let me know in advance.

@ ChardonnaysPetDragon So you spend time cutting down plants, trees, bushes, lets get this straight... from a garden...

Last time i looked gardens were for plants, trees and bushes....

If your garden is 3 sides of fencing, and some grass....you dont have a garden. You have what a cheap developer can get away with calling a garden.

Congrats!

@HillAreas

Anyone chopping all the plants back to the fence line is daft.. You should head to a more affluent area, where they understand that plants add huge value, both financial and looks and wellbeing to an area and adds privacy. And they let the plants grow.

Go to poor place....look how little greenery there is (this is a bad choice made by the people who live in poor places, they chop back everything, again and again). Now go to an affluent area... You can see the same style street with the same houses.... lets take terrace victorian places, they all have the same size houses, same land size
rich place is green, poor place is not, poor people spend endless hours chopping down everything......

You talking about a plant growing through some trellis... (you do know what trellis is for right? ) its not so you can stare through it at your neighbour, its to train plants though.

Rumtopf shock horror!! Neighbours that are actually.......well.......neighbours!!!!

@AngeloMysterioso

HEADLINE NEWS...
"plant big enough to poke through the trellis at the top of the 5ft fence"

You have no plants taller than 5 foot? If you dont have any plants over that height you dont really have a garden.....

I think you probably have 3sides of panel fencing....and some grass....NOT A GARDEN. Ugly...

@ ChardonnaysPetDragon So you spend time cutting down plants, trees, bushes, lets get this straight... from a garden...

I don't, you have me confused with someone.

I'm a big believer in letting things grow as much as they want.

Mmmmm, I’m on the fence (no pun intended 😁)

My neighbour did this to our honeysuckle which was hanging over the fence into his garden and it really affected how it looked from my garden - he just sheared the whole lot off. I do understand it was his right but it was a shame he couldn’t have been a bit more aesthetic about how he went about it.

The text in bold was quoted.

I am a keen Gardner. I spend a fortune on plants and care for my garden and yes I do cut stuff that grows through the fence from next door. A lot of plants are thugs and will take over if left to do as they want.
That lovely honeysuckle Lonicera japonica which is grown up many fences and trellis in the uk is beautiful but without control is a major garden thug.

Today’s job is pulling out and weeding the vinca that comes through from next doors fence. Beautiful plant but if I leave it it will take over that whole bed.

It's her responsibility to keep it neat.
No one has to keep their own garden neat if they don’t want.

I would have waited a bit to see what the shrub was

Why? I would have thought it was perfectly clear to OP what the shrub was if she had reached the point where she had to dodge round it to get down her path.

Indeed... my garden has a small neat lawned area, the rest of the lawn is left to go wild, as 1. its looks great, 2. its great for wildlife 3. im not mowing constantly every nice day there is, good for me and my neighbours.

You’re right @taskerd... I don’t have a garden. I have a small patio, and next to it is a lawn area which is communal and shared with the rest of flats in the house.

Given that I have so little space to begin with, I don’t see why I should have to put up with a chunk of that space being occupied by next door’s plant which I then have to dodge round to get from the door to the gate. But I’m just a stupid poor person.

If you apologize, I'd say 'I'm sorry you are upset,' not that you are sorry. You are totally.not in the wrong

My neighbour on the other hand, is out there mowing everything (everything!!!), not a hedge, not a tree (he had them all cut down), not a shrub, nothing, he cuts everything back..... he is out there every weekend, early morning running a petrol up and down, every week, his garden looks like crap....

Whats amazing is that garden has been there for 90 years....and its nothing, just a large bit of bad grass......

he wouldnt have to plant anything....just leave sections unmowed and within a couple of years you will be able to pick what you want to keep, trees and shrubs will have self seeded......