A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

[Throwaway667]

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

Rhea why cant your partner go on their day off, or look after the kids so you can? Get a weeks worth of shopping at a time. Or nip somewhere like an express after work.

I sympathise for people who honestly have no other options but to usevthe kindness of strangers, but if you live with another adult there is no excuse.

How many 12 year olds could do a full shop, including substituting items when inevitably half the things on the list after out of stock? When money is likely to be limited can the be guaranteed not to make pricey mistakes?

Mobile phones

I have seen children messing around inside supermarkets recently so I can see why some stores have considered banning them.

I think there’s certainly people that are continuing as normal so are oblivious to their children, well, behaving like children. Running around, touching things, coughing etc. Children are also cooped up inside all the time now, so I suppose an outing to the supermarket might over excite some. I think parents need to be extra mindful of their children as we’re officially in lockdown.

In a perfect scenario, single parents should still be allowed in as hopefully it would just weed out those who do have the option to leave their children at home.

@Neverenoughcoffee oh so true. I trust my daughter to do her best but I can also see her making mistakes. Which would be easy to do as there’s a lot of empty shelves. And like most other people right now, we can’t afford to waste food and stuff. And I hate waste anyway.

Have you signed up for Sainsbury's? They only deliver to the vulnerable now and ask you to contact them if you aren't on the government list. There are also food box deliveries by Morrisons and local suppliers. You can find details on FB and NextDoor app.

Itsallthedrama

I don't think it's a lack of empathy for single parents, my local online communities are offering help to them. But when we are given a list of instructions to follow for the safety of all and people simply refuse to it's going to annoy people.

Just keep your bloody children safe, keep everyone safe. Taking a child into a supermarket should be the final option and not just something people are doing because it's easier than asking for help

Separated swans - presumably the helicopter wasn't just over your house? Presumably you have neighbours? Presumably some of them will be going to the shops? It's not easy but people need to try ways to get round the issue instead of playing the woe is me card

We had a tesco delivery today and the driver said they were trying to keep an eye on people who were struggling to get to the shops or were vulnerable. Maybe if you phone a supermarket that delivers and explain your situation they'll be able to fit you in.
The driver couldn't have been nicer, and said if I was finding by it difficult (two young kiddies and a key worker husband) to get in touch with them.

This is definitely not okay, I'm so glad i have a child old enough to babysit now as this is becoming a stark reality. Single mums with little ones with no options to shop, no online slots and those available not to us and where to leave the children?

I'm actually really angry single parents have no way of eating.

How many 12 year olds could do a full shop, including substituting items when inevitably half the things on the list after out of stock?

I will say though that perhaps one thing we need to look at after this crisis is how much we are raising capable resilient children (of course not all children are equally capable as each other but still) I confess that were my DC's 12, I would not trust them to do the shop, BUT when I was 12, I could have done so if my mother had sent me having been given lots of responsibility early. Society has changed, but benign neglect has it's upsides.

@Gwenhwyfar that simply isn't so for all non-rural areas. I went for my walk at night last night through the small high street area about 12 mins from my home. The independent food shops had signs in the window that they had closed up for the forthcoming. The supermarket is 40 mins walk uphill (at least it's downhill on the way back).

Newsagents are open, but people cannot feed their children Monster Munch and biscuits for three weeks.

The stabbing happened on the street over, county lines drug dealers have cuckooed most of the vunerable households in the street below me.

My neighbours smoke weed on a daily basis so much I can't open my windows without smelling it.

The neighbour last night were having a brawl in the street which was broken up by the police.

One neighbour has a can in his hand by 9am and I have listen to him smack his partner around the house some days, you can hear her screaming from 3 doors away.

It's not so much woe is me, it's the stark reality that some areas of the UK people don't want to volunteer in. There is no community support because people don't want to come near.

They want to go shopping, they don't really care if others can't.

The fact that pretty much every neighbourhood, as far as I can tell, has a covid mutual support group or other group offering to do shopping would seem to refute that. The recent rise in volunteering has been phenomenal.

It's a difficult situation. I was saying to DH the other day, it must be horrendous for single parents - you can't leave them home alone and they're not really welcomed into shops either. It doesn't feel right leaving young children on their own outside a shop in this day and age.

Many of these poor areas with high crime rates is exactly where single.parent families live.

So when many are saying I e no support I can't ask the neighbours, it's because to do so would probably put them in danger.

This must be area specific - plenty of children in Aldi and Tesco in my town yesterday.

Even apart from all this, these threads have really highlighted just how vulnerable and isolated some SPs are - no contact whatsoever with the NRP, no family around, no friends, no neighbours, children with SEN, children too young to be left at home, don't drive, and who cannot access local voluntary groups.
It's been a long time since I was a SP, and my younger DC's are fine to be left for a short time at 10 and 12, but I realise it's a very worrying time for others who have no support network.

I will say though that perhaps one thing we need to look at after this crisis is how much we are raising capable resilient children (of course not all children are equally capable as each other but still)

I've always thought this . In a general sense. Whenever our parents were 12/13 etc they were running the house while their parents were at work. Full on roast dinners etc

Now neighbours report a 12 yr old left alone for 10 mins..

Nspcc or social services or something dont affect use leaving kids home til 14 do they?

Our parents would have had jobs by then...

Too much many state involvement

Disclaimer it's not the parents fault in that obviously they dont wanna be reported to ss etc so follow the guidelines

But it's not helped anyone has it

I'm actually really angry single parents have no way of eating.

This statement is just wrong. They have a way of eating and there are ways to get help.

Sainsbury's is allowing 'one person per trolley'. Dp works therr, I asked him what they're doing about single parents, he said they will be an exception. Atleast at the store he works anyway.

Obviously they will get people lying for the sake of it, or being clever by everyone in the group grabbing a trolley each.

On the whole the staff on the doors will just have to be vigilant and have bit of common sense with customers circumstances

My local Sainsbury’s is implementing one-person-per-trolley from tomorrow. I think it’s to support the Prime Minister’s directive that just one individual per household should go shopping (a number of idiots were still treating the food shop as a family day out, taking teenagers and spouses etc). It’ll make the queue move quicker too, because only one person will be entering. So I think it’s great.

However, it puts lone parents of kids under 11ish in a difficult position. I hope that there will be support for them from local volunteers etc. Or from the stores.

And being coy about sanitary products is needless OP - all teenage, young and middle-aged females use them.

Where is this help i want to know.

I'm also having to hand deliver to my vunerable mother too as she cannot get slots. She can't get help either. She isn't supposed to be out, she is vunerable.

Can't get sanitary towels either, i have 4 menstruating people in this house. Ive forked out for washable ones online, cost a bomb but we can't bleed every where

Isn't it ironic that if you posted a few ago that you want to leave your child for 5 minutes , you would've been inundated with replies about how irresponsible that is, for hat a terrible mother you are,threats if SS and self righteous dicks that don't leave their kids even to pee.

Now it's all leave your kids in the car,outside,at home,in the care of a 7yo etc.

OMG, THIS THIS THIS. The general rule seems to be "how, in the current circumstances, can we blame and shame mothers to the maximum extent"?

@BiarritzCrackers

I have a child who is doing her best to prove your wrong there. She's surviving on a diet of Monster munch and biscuits and lots of meal time battles at the moment.

This is almost certainly indirect sex discrimination as most single parents are likely to be women. That means it's illegal. Not sure there's much that can be done - try reporting to the council/police (on non-emergency numbers)?