A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

[Throwaway667]

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

[Neverenoughcoffee]

It's awful. I don't get why people are suggesting you leave your child at home while having no idea of their age or abilities , how long you might be out while going to the shop or the distances involved.

[pingbloodyping]

If your child is too young to be left outside then ask your neighbours - there are loads of support grps willing to help.

[housemdwaswrong]

Loads of local businesses by us have set up delivery services. We are in a more rural area, but I imagine lots of businesses have had to do the same in order to survive. We have a fb covid 19 isolation group, people shop for others on there, give good parcels etc. Also local councillors post deliveries available in local area, and links to different support networks. We still need a slot for non-basics, but this helps.

I got a click and collect slot @tesco just gone midnight, and a delivery one for Asda at 4.45 this morning. ( I'm seeing which one has most stock today & cancelling the other... Wales has no priority booking, I'm immunosupressed and caring for one immunosupressed father and mam with dementia. I feel a little bit guilty for two slots for a day, but dad and I would never survive it if we had a bad dose of it, and options are limited). I'd uppit happen to be awake in the middle of the night, check.

[Throwaway667]

When my child and I haven’t left the house in 10 days (he has a learning disability so is classed as vulnerable) surely getting a third party to do the shopping (like a neighbour who people have suggested) who is more than likely to have been out during this time actually increases the risk of infection to fellow shoppers and ourselves?

[Gogogohaze95]

A local shop is refusing entry to single parents
They’re refusing entry to children regardless of whether their parents are married/cohabiting/divorced etc
As a PP said, your title is misleading. I thought you meant that they were requesting a marriage certificate or something

[Gogogohaze95]

But YANBU. Have you tried contacting the shop directly and explaining your situation?

[adaline]

No children is not the same as no single parents, though. Lots of shops are now limiting it to one customer per trolley to limit the number of people allowed in at once.

Can you ask a friend or neighbour to go for you and they can drop the food on your doorstep? Plenty of people in our area are offering to go out for those who can't get to the shops themselves for no charge. You just pay for the shopping.

[jimmyjammy001]

I assume this is because many people can not control kids from running around whilst in supermarkets and do not want the spread of possible germs/social distancing

[housemdwaswrong]

Not really. You won't see them. The way we work it is a shopping list online, they shop, leave on doorstep ring bell and walk away, and we transfer money. No risk there

[CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate]

Many SP will have a child over the age of 4 so they can leave child in the car while they do a quick shop.

Defo not something I'd be happy doing and these days increased demand means getting out 'quickly' isn't always possible.

Many SP will have more than one child- the older one can watch the younger one while you shop

Depends on the age of the older one. No idea why it's suddenly acceptable to leave children by themselves. Why are the children of SP less needing of safeguarding? What is a SP supposed to do?

And where is the kindess? I know everyone is rightly anxious, but it's starting to look like we'll come out of this a meaner nation.

[gingersausage]

For what seems like the hundredth time I’ve said this on here; being a parent is not a protected characteristic therefore no, it’s not bloody discrimination!

[Devlesko]

It's no children, not no single parents, your title is misleading.

I'm so sorry for sp during this, you have my sincerest sympathy.
Can you ask a friend or neighbour to drop things off for you, or on fb you may find volunteers who will gladly help.

[CaryStoppins]

Have you tried contacting a local mutual aid group to do the shopping for you? If you search covid19 + your town on Facebook you’ll probably find them.

[Justanotherworkingmom]

Original title is completely wrong.

In any event, I think we have the selfish idiots who have been leaving their kids to run around shops and use scooters to thank for this.

[SpringCrow]

Which shop? What does the notice say?

[Straycatstrut]

SP of two - 7yo with SEN, and a 3yo who bolts off when he feels like it. Their dad lives 100 miles North in another city and is SI. Parents can't put themselves at risk anymore than they are, queuing for themselves and my 90yo Grandma. No friends due to massive social anxiety. No car.

If I take them in I can't guarantee they won't run off and touch things.

I'm going to have to leave them at home. I can't think of a safer way.

[Shitfuckoh]

My local coop said the same last weekend.
I'm a single parent of 3 - all under 9 and the eldest has SN's.
I don't drive, so no car to leave them in. Can't trust them to wait outside the shop. Oh & the 'other parent' you state I could leave them with whilst I shop? As useless as a chocolate teapot & refusing to see his DC until this is all over!

[Youwonjane]

Dh mentioned our local Sainsbury’s is doing this. Not sure what single parents are supposed to do really.

[SoupDragon]

Many single parents will have a non resident parent the child still sees so that can shop when alone?

Some may have time when the child is with the other parent. Many will not for various reasons - eg not ferrying a child between two households so as not to increase risk of infection.

Many SP will have a child over the age of 4 so they can leave child in the car while they do a quick shop.

You seriously think it is OK to leave a 5year old alone in the car in a car park whilst you go shopping? That is stupid. Many will not have a child over 5 anyway.


Many SP will have more than one child- the older one can watch the younger one while you shop.

Ridiculous. Many many single parents will not have a child who is old enough to baby sit siblings.

Even if your statements were true or sensible that leaves many single parents unable to shop for food. Do you seriously think that is acceptable? Really?

[MrsWombat]

If he's vulnerable then he can go to school? Call them/email them and ask if he can go one day a week and you can get your shopping then. It's why vulnerable children are allowed to still go.

[Marieo]

The local shop said to me I wasn't allowed in with DS (he was in a sling, so facing me- unable to reach to touch anything and he is well, but if he did sneeze or whatever close enough that I could easily cover his nose). The annoying thing is that DH is away as he is military, and I need to pick up prescriptions and essentials for family members who aren't able to leave the house. By not letting me in, it would mean that a volunteer would have to shop for me, and 2 different households when I can do that safely (as long as me and DS don't have symptoms at all of course); which seems an unnecessary strain on resources.

[Babyroobs]

Probably because of kids putting their hands all over the place as they do. There seems to be a lot of community groups doing shopping for people who can't get out in our area, maybe use something like that if possible ?

[VladmirsPoutine]

Your title is very misleading. Can you blast them on social media? Put up a post in your local FB page asking for help? Do you have a neighbour that might be able to watch the kid for short while? These are stressful times, what practical solutions would work? There's been no end of support among neighbours during this virus / isolation.

[OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow]

when I can do that safely (as long as me and DS don't have symptoms at all of course);

Many people don't have symptoms though. So no. It's not safer just because you are not showing symptoms

[NastyOldBag]

pingbloodyping getting a neighbour to babysit your child is completely going against all the lockdown rules

It’s shit OP. I’m not a single parent but Dh is currently working 12-14hours a day on the frontline, sleeping at work and I haven’t seen h in a week. Dc’s are 7 and 4 and I can’t go to the shop without them. Our local co-op is currently not allowing kids in the shop, luckily there’s a fenced area just outside where I get dc to stand and wait for me. No way I could do this if my dc were younger or if my older dc wasn’t as reliable as he is.