A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

[Throwaway667]

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

I bet some people are gleefully rubbing their hands together at the thought of no children anywhere, and it's not even because of corona despite trying to frame it as that.

Minimising and dismissing someone's needs and concern doesn't make you a hero. It make you a self righteous, limited twat. It makes you an "alright Jack" not a community supporter.

Not to mention the competitive " I'm better at staying in".

People have killed themselves due to self isolation and this shit situation. Others are eager to start report pages and websites.

Get the fuck over yourselves. The greater good rhetoric doesn't mask a frankly selfish, ignorant and quite bullyish attitude. No matter how much you wrap your shit in chocolate foil ,it's still shit.

Everderose, no chance of getting a full week's shop round here at the moment. I will go out on Sunday and try and do a shop. Not comparing my situation to single parents at all just saying it's still very difficult. I tried all of the week before the kids broke up from school to get food in but the shelves were bare. I'm hoping now they're rationing it will be a bit better. I really feel for single parents who have no options. To suggest they just leave their children outside the shop alone is just shocking. If this is going to be long term the shops need to find a way of rationing the food fairly. At the moment a single person living alone can go into the shops and buy 2 bags of pasta and a family of 5 are allowed the same. Everyone's individual circumstances are different, I'm sure no one wants to be taking their young children round the shops and risk them catching it but some genuinely have no choice and like I said they need to eat to survive just like anyone else.

Disclaimer it's not the parents fault in that obviously they dont wanna be reported to ss etc so follow the guidelines

But it's not helped anyone has it

It certainly hasn't.

@ Marieo I guess you’re right. I suppose there could be a lot of people who would need it but if you need food desperately you’d surely be prepared to queue.
I’ve been a single parent for the last 17.5 years. My kids are adults now but I can empathise with all the single parents who have no choice here.

Aldi, Asda and M&S seem to allow children in still.

I will be boycotting the other supermarkets permanently, as they are putting children's lives at risk by not allowing their parents to buy food for them.

We like our neighbours, know the names of virtually everyone on our street and get along with them really well, but if we’re in lockdown for months at a time, which is looking increasingly likely, then I think it’s unreasonable to expect them to shop for our families as well as theirs. Can you imagine all the CF threads about entitled single parents handing over shopping lists once this crisis is over?!

I’m banking all our offers of help for the possibility that either I or my children start to display any Covid symptoms, in which case we will self-isolate and (hopefully) rely on neighbours, friends or volunteers to collect provisions. In the meantime, I’d rather the volunteer army saved their efforts for those in the vulnerable, shielding and self-isolating groups.

I’ll continue to apply common sense, teach my well-behaved children to observe the social distancing guidelines and enforce strict hygiene but I will not compromise my children’s general safety by leaving them locked in a car or home alone for any length of time. And we will be shopping for food, because we need to eat.

How shit! (As are some of these ignorant suggestions- leave a 4yo in a car? What if you have no car? What if your 4yo is in fact a real 4yo? )

OP I would bring a list to the door of the shop, hand it to whoever is doing security and tell them you’ll wait for your shopping to be brought to you. And refuse to move.

There are some volunteers in my area, but they're doing it for key workers and the elderly only. Can't get an online slot. It's okay to say keep trying but it will soon get to the point where we have NO food. All because I was sensible and didn't panic buy.

I don't understand how it would work if you gave a list to a worker and waited outside. What if the thing you've asked for isn't there eg chicken thighs and they bring you something different eg chicken breast usually more expensive? They can't piss about going back and forth can they? I have a set amount for my shop and buy pretty much the exact same products every time which I imagine is similar for lots of other single low income parents.

It certainly hasn't

Plus let's not forget that now a group of teens is something to call the police on as clearly they are up to no good

A real spanner in the works when as kids in a similar situation we would have been sent on errands for elderly and vulnerable people or to babysit in a heart beat .

Theres no longer this lifeline in the community which dramatically reduces the amount of help available

@CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate
I completely agree. From the nspcc site
"While every child is different, we wouldn't recommend leaving a child under 12 years old home alone, particularly for longer periods of time.

Children in primary school aged 6-12 are usually too young to walk home from school alone" then it mentions babysitting and cooking..

Actually I'd feel more confident sending my ten year old in for shopping. My 12 year old is a worrier and perfectionist and would be frozen by the responsibility, especially under these circumstances. Plus I reckon she'd feel pretty intimidated my the amount of judgement going on around them that they were there at all.

I've just seen something from Tesco saying there is an exception for parents with children. So I'm not sure children are actually banned.

I mentioned earlier in the thread that the transmission of the virus from child to adult seems to be much less than adult to adult, so frankly I'd rather half of the headcount inside a supermarket was kids...

I bet some people are gleefully rubbing their hands together at the thought of no children anywhere, and it's not even because of corona despite trying to frame it as that.

I agree--lots of child haters coming out the woodwork. I guess they will be happy when this is over, as the birth rate will probably go through the floor.

What if the thing you've asked for isn't there eg chicken thighs and they bring you something different eg chicken breast usually more expensive?

Just tell them when you hand it over “if it’s not there don’t substitute something else”

I could leave my 8 yo safely. But not all children are her and not all parents are me.

More importantly , we have had it drummed into us fairly aggressively that you do not leave your kids , for years. How incompetent and unpredictable kids are, how unsafe everything is, how aliens descend with no warning and spontaneous combustion of random household items is more common than colds .

Now a lot of people expect parents to forget all that, to forget their conditioning and guidelines and skip merrily to the supermarket while leaving a 5 yo unattended. It's not just daft advice , it's frankly quite irresponsible as most children will not have had any or much experience in being alone or unsupervised. That's without adding the possibility of SEND, illness, mental health issues etc.

Rhea sadly not all parents would think the same, when I went shopping I saw lots of families shopping together (As in more than 1 adult) the staff on the door were trying to police it but weren't having much luck. I genuinely felt sorry for them.

princess

It's also been quite warm round here lately. Certainly warm enough to worry about leaving a child or a dog in the car...

Unbelievable that was a suggestion

(As in more than 1 adult) the staff on the door were trying to police it but weren't having much luck

Doesnt help that limits mean that you cant even buy what you need.

It needs all of you out to send to different tils to get stuff..

I agree and it’s not just single parents. My hubby is in the military and is away at present. My son is 23 but has severe Aspergers. I am 250 mikes from nearest family. I cannot under any circumstances leave him home alone. I cannot under any circumstances leave him outside or in a car. He would not stay he would run away. All his support networks have closed. No college no groups. Nothing available locally. I took him to Tesco with me today and was told only one adult to a trolley. I asked to speak to the manager but by this time my son was very stressed and we had to leave. Now we have little food left. As for local groups on Facebook, I haven’t found any. I will be contacting my local council on Monday as these rules are very dangerous.
My son would never go near anyone he won’t let go of the trolley has his noise cancelling headphones on and won’t make eye contact let alone enter into your 2 meters of space. He won’t touch any products. Why on earth can’t two adults walk with a trolley.

OP I would bring a list to the door of the shop, hand it to whoever is doing security and tell them you’ll wait for your shopping to be brought to you. And refuse to move.

JuanSheetIsPlenty More fool you 😂 You’d be stood there a long time then. Your kids aren’t their problem, they’re your problem and it’s for you to find a solution.

@Alsonification it is a good idea though, but they are so overworked here, even with recruitment ramping up because some workers are (rightly) at home self isolating etc as well as having to 'police' one in one out, and social distancing in addition to keeping everything running I don't see how it would work. My friend is working 6 x 12 hour days and the same across the board and it's not enough. It will maybe ease off soon I guess!

Children in primary school aged 6-12 are usually too young to walk home from school alone

Does it honestly say that on the NSPCC website? Obviously it's dependent on distance/road types etc, but it's utterly ridiculous to say that 10/11/12 year olds are usually too young to walk home from school alone.

@Boudicabooandbulldogs that sucks, sorry. It's horrible enough with them away isnt it, let alone when you're put into a position like this and in these circumstances. Do you live on the patch?

Your kids aren’t their problem

No- their policy is their problem. My kids are customers who need to eat just like all the taller customers. But good point- maybe someone like you would just fuck off with my list. So OP when you hand the list over you film yourself doing it and you tell them you’re now calling their head office to inform them that you’ve had to resort to this measure and you trust they will ensure the staff member, whose name you have taken, will return promptly to you. You could even live stream to social media.

@Marieo, it’s not great. I will be calling welfare on Monday as well. Although none of this would be necessary if common sense hadn’t gone out of the window. Of course if you don’t need two people to a trolley then don’t. However it’s clear my son has extra needs and we didn’t need to be challenged by a very vocal obviously angry store member. I appreciate they are still working, so is my hubby. I have repeatedly said thank you every time I go into a food store since this started.
Don’t understand the need for these rules regardless of personal circumstances.

It's unreasonable and unfair. The world can't 100% stop under all circumstances. Some have to mix still. Delivery slots are unavailable. Milkmen have no stock hardly. What the heck are mums supposed to do?