A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

[Throwaway667]

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

Why can't the 12 year old go to the local shop for you? Unless you're extremely rural, there should be some kind of food shop within 2 miles.

Seriously. You don’t see the irony in that comment? You being one of the most adamant posters stating that children should not be in shops.

the funny thing is about being a single parent - you instantly have a lot less friends and family because the media has done a great job of persuading the majority of people that single parents are awful.

With success judging by the attitudes on here.

@Youwonjane don't worry about it!

"The OP isn’t elderly or on 12 week isolation. She shouldn’t have to rely on volunteer groups that need to focus on those cohorts."

The volunteer groups are for anyone who can't get out.
The lady I shopped for yesterday was self-isolating because she has a cough. It's better that someone else goes for her than she goes herself. She could have asked a friend I suppose, but they may not live so close.

The lack of sympathy for women in this position on this thread is appalling. At the moment I think the lack of sympathy for many groups is appalling, single parents, the sick, the vulnerable, the elderly seem to be set to be "cleansed." Some might get a shock as they might be next.

"You being one of the most adamant posters stating that children should not be in shops."

Small children I said. Those who won't understand or be able to abide by the rules of 2m distance and coughing/sneezing into a sleeve. I was presuming the 12 year old was sensible since they can be left alone in the house.

Lots of people don't have local shops that their 12 year olds can do their shopping in. It's highly probable that this is going to go on a lot longer than three weeks. This is not a sustainable solution for the households hardest hit by this.

"Errm, it kind of does."

Errmm, it doesn't.
How many times do people have to mention the local volunteer groups, the option of asking a friend or acquaintance or oline once slots become available - I know there's a wait at the moment.

I think that it's a good idea in theory-I mean what's the point of kids not being at school but to then be in the supermarkets?

And if two adults then yes one should wait outside with the kids.

In fact why should 2 adults be shopping together if one is capable?

In practice, not workable if those with no other option are being turned away.

"Lots of people don't have local shops that their 12 year olds can do their shopping in."

Like I mentioned, you'd have to be very rural not to have any kind of food shop in a 2 mile radius.

There's a whole host of people in my local community offering help to people who can't get out to shop.
I'm not saying it's easy, and I've every sympathy with single parents, they have a shit enough time of it already.
But you're children are the most precious things to you, why wouldn't you keep them safe at home.

I went shopping yesterday and a child about 5 kept getting close to me at the checkout, I repeatedly asked their parent to move them away and in the end got a very shirty response of 'she's not got the lurgy'
I told them I was caring for patients with corona virus and I was asking her to step back for her own safety. Unsurprisingly they moved to a different till.

Absolutely agree with those identifying how the most vulnerable groups are being vilified in this situation. And it's only been going on for a few days.

God here we go. Someone in a real jam, and still people care more about the phrasing or definitions just like when people read heart breaking post and correct spellings...just unnecessary and not helpful at all.

This policy of course predominantly screws women over. Guess that's why no one cares huh

OP I'm.sorry you are in this mess ... supermarkets were happy enough to cash in on the panic by allowing massive sales of items before it all became official. Happy to cash in on all the deliveries they gained

And now they screwing people over again.

Kids shouldn't be in shops at the moment. I don't believe there are not other options. We have local grocers etc open that you can just run into. A local farm is doing a drive through service. We have Facebook pages with people offering to shop for the vulnerable. You just need to accept that it's for the protection of the general population and find another way to get your shopping because there are ways if you look. I bet if you post your predicament on your towns Facebook page you will have multiple offers of help in no time

Tesco has banned children but has said it will use discretion when it comes to single parents. If your children are too young to wait outside or in the car, ask to speak to the Manager and explain your situation?

This is just getting ridiculous now. They're prioritising certain groups and it's seems completely forgetting about or shutting out others. My local shops are only giving deliveries to old and vulnerable, they're also only allowing old, vulnerable and nhs workers in for the first 2 hours. I've also heard talk of banning children and I know people are being judged for taking them. Everybody needs to bloody eat. Not just vulnerable or old people. If someone is a single parent and meant to not be mixing with other families then they will need to take their children with them. You shouldn't have to leave young children outside the bloody shop or home alone. I'm not a single parent but my partner is self employed and still working. I can't get in the shops early as I don't fit the criteria yet by the time he gets back from work the shelves are bare, iceland has gone from closing at 8pm to now 4pm so that's shut before he gets home. We were forced to get food from a garage that cost a fortune and monies very tight but we need to eat. They need to find a fairer way that doesn't exclude anyone. Especially as the amount you buy should depend on how many and ages of people in your family. Telling single parents to just leave their kids outside is disgraceful and those parents and children need food just like anyone and shouldn't be made to feel bad.

I've come to the conclusion, people don't actually care about one another, they care about themselves.

They want to go shopping, they don't really care if others can't.

So posters, who wants to come do my shopping for me? Ignore the police helicopter overhead and the stabbing yesterday. You coming round?

They are NOT refusing entry to single parents. They don't even know you marital status or whether you have children. They are refusing entry to groups of more than one person.

I get that it's a problem for you but don't try to make it sound like discrimination. It isn't.

This is worrying as a lone parent of a just turned 2 year old. If everywhere did this we would really struggle. I obviously can't leave him on his own anywhere.

@Gwenhwyfar, you do say small children. I take my last comment back.

"They’re refusing entry to children regardless of whether their parents are married/cohabiting/divorced etc"

^This

Probably have had problems with "free-spirited" children being allowed to mess with things on shelves, smear snot, lick,
encroach within 2m of other people

BUT
SPs need to shop, so more shops should offer click & collect outside

How many 12 year olds could do a full shop, including substituting items when inevitably half the things on the list after out of stock? When money is likely to be limited can the be guaranteed not to make pricey mistakes?

We have local grocers etc open that you can just run into. A local farm is doing a drive through service.

Is it really so hard to understand that many people do not have a local farm anywhere near them, and may not be able to afford local grocers, assuming they even have these and they are well stocked?

Is it so hard?

I've come to the conclusion, people don't actually care about one another, they care about themselves

That is quite unfair to hundreds of thousands of people who are helping. I would say it's half and half atm🤔

What we can now see is that attitudes which were displayed here few months ago of "I don't want to say hi to neighbours when passing. I don't care. I don't want to know my neighbours" and general disregard for community is now biting us all into the backside.

However, there is such an amazing number of people who are helping where and how they can that it gives me a bit of a hope that we might come out of this with a different mindset and maybe, just maybe people will be more willing to know who their neighbours are. Not calling others wierdoes for wanting to go introduce themselves to new neighbours.

I’m no longer a single parent so can leave my kids with my partner anyway. My post above was legit picking holes in other people’s not well thought out ideas.

And yes, my 12 year old can be trusted with shopping and my card if it came to it, but as I’m cutting down on how many times any of us need to leave the house and I can carry more than she can it makes more sense for me to go.

I feel this pandemic has highlighted some good things and bad things and one of the bad things is that a depressingly high number of people apparently have zero tolerance or empathy for single parents (who are usually mothers). Along with a “well you should have thought about this before shouldn’t you” way of thinking.