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AIBU?

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Original poster

A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

619 replies

Throwaway667 · 28/03/2020 09:58

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

OP posts:
JosieJasper · 29/03/2020 18:22

This sounds unfair for genuine single parents who’s ex is not around/no contact. They have no option! In Sainsbury’s today I saw several couples of all ages shopping making the distance thing even more difficult for everyone else as they browse the aisles deciding what they fancy for dinner on Tuesday 🙄 and there was a family of 3, child was about 15 all with masks on, so fully aware of the current situation, all chatting about what to buy. Surely it should be one adult to shop in these circumstances. The other stays in the car or at home.

Mshappy1975 · 29/03/2020 18:25

I CANT BELIEVE SOME OF THESE SHITTY COMMENTS...

do you actually have any children.. because I thought this was called mum's net.. and some of these comments do not sound like parents at all.. if they do have kids, well I would be worried about their parenting skills, with suggestions like, leave your kid out in the car. I mean, SERIOUSLY.
WTF

Sashawest50 · 29/03/2020 18:31

I have had a reply from Tesco..hope it helps

The rule is 1 person, 1 Trolley. 1 Person in ..1 Person Out ! So no Mum, Dad & Children.

Exception is if Child can not Legally be left at home / Outside ie : Too Young, Health Issues etc.

And if there’s 'No Other Appropriate Adult' to look after them !

Zipperdidoodaa · 29/03/2020 18:32

This is outrageous! As long as the child is well behaved there is no reason why they shouldn’t be allowed in the shop. If the shop is allowing only so many people in at a time then they count you as two people as you go in - there is then no extra risk to the rest of the shoppers and none to the child. Having Corona virus in our midst does not change the rules on leaving vulnerable children unattended at home or outside s shop! Get a grip those of you expecting the op to leave her children at risk - I’d like to see you all do this if you were in her position.
Op speak to your local MP about your issues. They should be aware that single parents are bring penalised

Sashawest50 · 29/03/2020 18:35

FYI A child residing with one parent ie : Single Parent..If the child has regular contact with the other parent at another home this is still allowed to still take place just all follow guidelines washing hands if ill stay home.

Oscarsdaddy · 29/03/2020 18:36

Can’t you see they are doing this purely for the safety reasons. It’s not difficult to understand

AllDruggedUpWithNowhereToGo · 29/03/2020 18:37

Today in my search for cat litter, I talked to a lady who had a friend watching her kids through the sitting room window (they were playing charades), one who had their dad “child minding” via Skype and a maybe 12 year old shopping with his parent on the phone to advise what to get when things were out of stock. There are ways around this. I have also offered to shop for my friends who can’t get out for whatever reason.

Also what is it with the “i need sanitary protection/other medical need” being embarrassing? Are we teenagers?

Lynnart · 29/03/2020 18:40

Stay clear of the shop! Why should you have to leave your child outside as someone suggested?? He won't have a business when this is all over and it will be.

Sashawest50 · 29/03/2020 18:41

I'm a Mum but both children are grown up and both left home now..I was a single parent the only reason I am on here is because I have a health condition not Coronavirus or I would be offering to shop or babysit etc for anyone who needed help I can'Start so if anyone is asking for advice I may not know it but will be happy to search for any answers to any queries to try assist people..mumsnet..mums unite

Giantcatbear · 29/03/2020 18:48

YANBU. This is a basic failure to think something through properly.

Also, is there any scientific basis for not allowing children in shops? If they cannot prove it increases the risk significantly why are they doing it?

Also also, no one goes grocery shopping with children unless they absolutely have to, especially alone. I knew that before I had children!

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 29/03/2020 18:49

Can’t you see they are doing this purely for the safety reasons. It’s not difficult to understand

Hmm No-one, but NO-ONE, has said they don’t understand it. Try reading the thread. Shall I explain for you? The problem, isn’t want of understanding, we all know why thenpolcoy has been introduced, The problem is that it leaves many single parents unable to feed themselves and their children. Which is wholly unacceptable.

Giantcatbear · 29/03/2020 18:51

What are the basic safety reasons? I think I'd need to understand the hard factual, scientific basis for this decision in order to judge it.

If people can't get food delivered and all the shops ban children are single parents supposed to just starve? WTF?

allanaw929 · 29/03/2020 18:56

This terrifies me, I'm a single mum, absolutely no family, my neighbours are at best rude and selfish, my son isn't even 2 yet and I have no freezer, a tiny fridge and almost no kitchen space, so I literally have to take my son shopping every 2/3 days. I keep him in a buggy and away from people at all times but I'm petrified my supermarket will do this, its the only one I can reach without walking miles and I simply don't have enough money left to shop in the corner shop for the next few weeks, I've already lost over a stone in the last week or two and can't cut back on food for myself any more than I already have without collapsing from exhaustion. I know they're trying to keep people safe but a blanket ban on children in shops would mean that we wouldn't eat.

GiftedFish · 29/03/2020 18:57

I understand the frustration but it's that same old thing about the idiots ruining it for the people who are trying to do as asked.
I know concerns were raised in shops by me about kids running around and I imagine the restrictions on the amount of people I'm the shop doesn't help. My partners works for co op and only 15 people are allowed in at a time. So I imagine that if someone turns up with 3 kids theres 3 adults who can't go in and buy for their families.
I have a friend who has 3 young children and she's either getting a family member or neighbour to get her shopping. I did see the other day that she had her friend go over and look after her kids which is against the grain of "no mixing households" but in the same breath surely it would have been better for the person who sat with the kids to get the shopping rather than go in.

achainisonlyasstrong · 29/03/2020 18:57

I would just go to your normal shop and explain your situation to them. You need to be able to feed your children. And I wouldn’t t leave young children behind at home. If something happens that s even more strain on emergency services.

FaveNumberIs2 · 29/03/2020 19:03

What the fuck are you supposed to do then? Put a collar and lead on the child and tie it a fucking lamppost outside the shop??

This has really boiled my piss and I’m not a single parent, in fact I don’t even have kids at home anymore as they’ve grown and flown!!

tinkerbellla · 29/03/2020 19:13

That's awful! What are you supposed to do? Hopefully it's not all shops? I did encounter a women with three teenagers looking at cards and pissing about taking up a whole aisle but I just walked down another one. Obviously they didn't need to be there but if you have a small child are you just meant to leave them outside? Ridiculous. Hope you get something sorted, it's stressful enough as it is...

Alpal1 · 29/03/2020 19:56

Might be indirect discrimination because it affects women more than men, so yes, probably is

Kayagh · 29/03/2020 20:42

Yesterday 10:14 Isadora2007 Btw my husband is merchant marine and currently offshore so tell me what I do with my kids while I shop I don’t have to yet but how dare you cast everyone in you got someone category in have not family all live in a different country should I leave 4 year old twins home alone whilst I shop huh

Beatendownmum · 29/03/2020 20:45

I am a single mum to 3 kids their disgrace of a father hasnt seen them in nearly a year, infact when I asked if he could pay some of the thousands in unpaid maintenance to help as I have been laid off work his response was "they can starve for all I care" - so safe to say he wouldnt ever sit with the kids while I shop 😂. I was really worried about this. My dad actually drove to the supermarket today and sat in his van next to my car with my kids in to keep and eye on them for me and then went in and did his shopping. Anyway I asked the checkout lady and she said children are absolutely fine to come in and they understand every parents situation is different. Id leave my eldest 2 in the car alone together (10 and 6) but I couldn't leave my 4 year old far too young and would probably get quite scared!

VivienScott · 29/03/2020 21:18

Personally I think if supermarkets want to invoke a rule that no children are allowed they should give single parents in vulnerable status.

aurynne · 29/03/2020 22:21

Oit of curiosity... all these single parents who cannot leave the kids at home, cannot ask help from a neighbour, have absolutely no one... what have they planned to do if they catch the virus themselves?

BlackberryandNettle · 29/03/2020 22:23

I've taken my 2 year old with me, no-one to leave her with and she say in the trolley. She couldn't be left in the car/alone, I did see several adult couples going in though which seems totally unnecessary

TreeTopTim · 29/03/2020 22:23

Haven't read the updates since I posted so not sure if I am repeating what has already been said.

Asda have issued a statement saying that they have not banned children. They are saying that it's 1 trolley 1 person where possible. If you need to take your children then that is ok.

syskywalker · 29/03/2020 22:26
  1. it is discrimination
  2. there is no proof that children are more likely to carry the virus
  3. Russian propaganda and mis-information
  4. even for families with restrictions in place this is discrimination
  5. how are we supposed to get food for a family of more then 1 plus vulnerable in-laws?!
  6. the not vulnerable are still filling up big trollies are the shops for themselves!
  7. how on earth would they know who an online order is for?!
  8. restricting online order will leave families going hungry as the single people or 2-3 people families will clear out the shop at max for restrictions which will be half or less for a family that has more than 1 child!
  9. social distancing does not work when you have to feed a family
  10. who thinks it’s ok to swap a kid from one parent to another in a blended family or separated parents does not understand the point of social distancing!!!
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