A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

[Throwaway667]

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

Many SP will have a child over the age of 4 so they can leave child in the car while they do a quick shop.

Many SP will have more than one child- the older one can watch the younger one while you shop

Have you seen the hysterics on threads where an op has done this or seen someone do this with a child under the age of 16!!? According to lots of people on MN children shouldnt leave the house alone until at least 16!
Ss would be inundated with calls reporting any single parent who did this.

And i certainly wouldnt leave a 4yr old alone in a car while i went shopping! How ridiculous.

Most single patents are women its just another discrimination through the back door.
Most single parents don't have the money to spend in corner shops for a weekly shop.
Children are no more likely to touch things than adults, usually less as they dont care about whats in each food item and dont pick up tins and packets to examine them thoroughly and put them back and they dont pick up half a dozen avocados, peppers or whatever before they decide which one is just right.

Just don’t tell them you are a single parent. Just say your partner is at home.
That gives them a right to ask why your child isn't at home with partner!!!

The uk seems to have made kids the scapegoat for everything at the moment and dont give a toss for those withoug a support network at all. Its really bringing out the worst in many people.

No kids are not being made a scapegoat of. The issue is parents who don't follow the rules and let their kids run about. It is really common in supermarkets to see kids running about.

The complication is that not allowing children makes biological sense. It isn't just the running around, touching things, and being snotty. It's that with a lot of viruses children make a lot more viral particles per amount of snot than adults do. If you're locked in a room with a child with flu, you are several times more likely to catch it than if you were locked in a room with an adult with flu. The same is likely to be true for covid19. We also know that children are more likely than adults to have asymptomatic covid19, thus being contagious, but with no warning signs.

The problem, of course, is that a way has to be found for all people to access essentials.

Even with a support network in normal times, is not that hard to imagine how that support might be limited or inexistent once you consider elderly/vulnerable people that have been told to stay at home,people self isolating, key workers that can't just shop whenever shops are stocked etc.

Some of the comments smack of "make sure he rapes the other girl mentality" , expecting others to put themselves at risk and make more trips out than absolutely necessary. So you're happy for Joe or Susan to trawl the shops to find out everything on his list for however many households, battle the rationing rules,go out much more than usual and be in contact with more people,also providing for their own family etc just so a child doesn't breathe anywhere in your vicinity? It's not the "barbecueing in the alleyway" people that are selfish.

And i certainly wouldnt leave a 4yr old alone in a car while i went shopping! How ridiculous.

Why ever not? I bet they are safe in stationary car than in a virus riddled shop...

I'm screnshotting this thread atm to use when things go back to normal and people will once again insist you can't possibly leave a child unattended to even hang the washing up and threatening to call SS for turning your back for 5 minutes.

Shops have a legal duty to protect their staff.

Our local Tesco is only allowing one person per trolley in but they are allowing parents with young children in.

I usually do my shopping while DS is at school. I would rather not do it with him, but now I have no choice. I can't leave him at home as he's only 6, can't leave him outside for the same reason and I don't own a car so that's not an option either. I live in a flat with a private entrance and don't know any of my neighbours because I just don't have the opportunity to meet them. The only family member I can ask is my mum and she's a key worker for the NHS and very busy at the moment so I don't really want to be burdening her with asking her to do my shopping every week as well as her own.

I suppose I could post to the facebook group but I don't class myself as a vulnerable person so I think it's a bit cheeky of me to ask a volunteer to do a shop for me every week when there are people in need of genuine help.

princessconsuela I was thinking exactly the same . It was only a few months ago that I had people tell me I’m neglectful on me for leaving my 4yo in the car while I paid for the petrol. Apparently doing this could result in the car being stolen or spontaneously combusting and why would I take the risk if I didn’t have to. Now I’m expected to knock on neighbours doors and ask them to have him or leave him with random strangers outside a shop . MN is insane sometimes

Small independent shops/takeaways and pharmacies here are doing a “call and Collect” type system where you phone the shop with your order and they tell you when it will be ready, you arrive and call them from outside the shop, they bring your order out, set it down and go back inside then you can get out of your car/ or just move closer and pick it up. Not all are able to take payments over the phone so some aren’t having to take the card machine to a window or whatever. (One went viral for putting the card machine on a hurl ) I’m sure bigger shops like Asda/Tesco etc could implement something like that too for people that couldn’t come into the shop.

@givemeacall how is your DM getting food?

That is why groups have been set up to help people like that.
Not everywhere has large groups of volunteers. When they are doing shopping fir the elderly and vulnerable do we really expect them to add to the burden by shopping for people quite capable of doing it themselves?
How many times a week do you expect these volunteers to expose themselves to risk in a supermarket?

Can you imagine what the reaction would be in some places for a healthy and able woman asking for someone to get her shopping? Mn would implode for sure never mind the holier than thou in RL.

But honestly most people complaining the most loudly have no real issues
If you cannot feed yourself and your kids i kind of think thats a huge issue!

Some people present this as literally not knowing a soul, which is why many people don't believe it.
Typical Mn reaction. Its not my life so it cant possibly be true.

@NastyOldBag No one is expecting you to leave your 4 year old with strangers. In your shoes I would go to a shop in a petrol station and leave him in the car. But I would have supported you in the original thread.

@Willow2017 Yes everyone needs to be able to feed their kids. Most on here are not complaining about not being able to buy no food, they are complaining because they can't go the particular shop they want.

@alloutoffucks, I wasn't talking about shielded groups, just about single parents if they can't take their children into the supermarket. Someone else mentioned requesting help from volunteers for them too, I was just suggesting this was a more efficient use of their time than shopping and delivering, and also less risky for handing money to a stranger.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock that's just what I was thinking. I can't wait for things to go back to normality so I can quote this thread to anyone who says you can leave your child in the car while you pay for petrol 😂

of course you can leave your child in the car in a garage forecourt when you pay for petrol, or buy food.

*can't leave your child in the car 🤦‍♀️

Im sure bigger shops like Asda/Tesco etc could implement something like that too for people that couldn’t come into the shop.
Have you any idea how many people use supermarkets a day? They are taking on extra staff just to cope with increased deliveries, shelf filling, cashiers etc. Yet you want them to do even more shopping for people? How would they know it was a single parent or just someone taking the p? How many people would think oh that saves me the bother and before you know it the orders are in the hundreds but they would still need all the other jobs doing in store.

How about taking a list and asking someone queuing
How is that going to work with the rationing thats needed just now? If you need a weekly shop is some random in the queue going to push 2 trolleys around just for you? Seriously?

If you are self isolating you should avoid going out for food, but you can if you need to. Surely she wouldn't let your kids starve?

of course you can leave your child in the car in a garage forecourt when you pay for petrol, or buy food.

Not according to around 50% of MN. Its fine now though, infact leave them anywhere you like.

of course you can leave your child in the car in a garage forecourt when you pay for petrol, or buy food.

You haven't been on Mumsnet long have you?

I already have the "I feel sorry for your kids" and "wish I know who you were so I could report you to SS" badges.

@Isadora2007 I have none of those! No Non-Resident parent and no other child to look after them. The only family I have is my 76yr old mother who is in isolation