A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

[Throwaway667]

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

I've just been to Sainsburys. The first time I've left the house in 16 days and I went alone. We had to queue outside but I was actually surprised once inside how many people are shopping in groups. Whole families, couples, what looked liked mums and older teenagers or young adult daughters. There was a couple together with a newborn baby. I think that's what needs to be addressed. Single parents without support really have no choice or of course lone parents with adult disabled children but I don't see why couples needs to go together or take the whole family. By going alone wherever possible it will greatly reduce the numbers of people. Although they seemed to be letting people in as others left I did still feel quite uncomfortably close to people in there.

I haven't rtft but as a LP of a 7 year old I leave her in the car why I nip into Tesco express. Appreciate this is not safe for everyone so....on our street we've had leaflets through door of people offering to help plus lots of FB help groups springing up to help people and local fruit and veg deliveries . Surely my area is not unique. I have myself shopped for several people and simply left bag on doorstep.

There is help out there, please check your local area and FB. I promise you people won't mind shopping for you. Good Luck.

@Ragwort same. I remember someone being accused of being weirdo and god knows what else for wanting to welcome new neighbours with a bit of chocolate

All the stores that I have visited with a queue system are only allowing 1 adult in

Have you actually explained/asked them? If you did, I'm sure they would be reasonable.

Some people present this as literally not knowing a soul, which is why many people don't believe it.

I'm one of these people who might seem to be like that. Fortunately I have DH but we live hours from any family. I live in a block of flats and have met two neighbours both of whom are elderly and not in good health. I'm a SAHM and go to a toddler group but I don't have anyone's numbers and most people who DH works with live quite far out and commute. Might sound sad to some people but I'm quite happy like that, I like my own company. I'm sure when DS is at nursery and school I will meet more people as he makes his own friends but for now I'm not sure who I would ask for anything. It's not that I pride myself on being private at all...it's just how it is!
I think this is such a strange time really because if we ever really need any emotional support for any reason we usually go away to my ILs for a little break...but now we can't. I do think the majority of people's support network is family and as that isn't possible at the moment it does mean we all have fewer people we can call on to help.

I know of a woman who has a child with severe SN, the child is up often during the night, she is a lone parent and she has chronic health issues herself meaning when he child goes to school she sleeps a lot herself. So not much chance for socialising with anyone, including neighbours. She has no family at all since early childhood. The council, in their wisdom, housed her in a rural row of 6 pensioners cottages. She doesn’t drive. her child goes by taxi to a special school 22 miles away so she has no school Mum friends. Her child is now at home due to school being closed, so when she goes to get the food shopping the child has to come, she can’t leave her in the taxi or outside the shop, she can’t ask any of her neighbours for help as they are all elderly and isolating themselves. IF (they haven’t yet) the local shops prevented her bringing her child into the shop she would be in a really worrying situation. The only reason I know her is because she hired me to help her in the house. I have already offered to help her any way I can. But there aren’t plenty in her situation who don’t have anyone they can ask for help. Not because they like being private but because they literally cannot build a support network.

@LotsaDo I do think parents with a young child in a car seat should be allowed in. I know they are not. But as long as they are in a car seat then they can't run about.

How about taking a list and asking someone queuing or the shopkeeper to put it together for you. Then you can pop in and pay if that works for you.

Hats off to all the single parents managing right now - especially since so many are far from family and whose local friends are probably in the same boat.

@NoMoreDickheads
I tried to explain to the not so lovely gentleman at Tesco that my adult son with SN could not be left alone and wouldn’t leave my side. I was shouted at called a name and when I asked to speak to the manager told to wait in a corner outside. Obviously by this point my son was in a melt down as ironically enough the man got way nearer to us than the allotted distance.
I understand that shop assistants are dealing with a lot right now in very trying circumstances. But sometimes asking or trying to explain doesn’t get you anywhere.

@JuanSheetIsPlenty That is why groups have been set up to help people like that.

But honestly most people complaining the most loudly have no real issues.

@JuanSheetIsPlenty,

There are lots of people in similar situations myself included. I work I have friends. Many are self isolating. I asked a couple when the college closed, however many are struggling themselves. I just wanted to get some basic food as quick as possible with a child who has never in his life got within 2 meters of another person unless forced too.

@boudicabooandbulldogs Are there shops you can visit?

I suppose the majority of parents will be sensible and make sure their dc holds onto the trolley to keep them close. But you will get a minority who will continue to allow their DCs to run round treating the place like a playground, and people are very nervous at having to mix with others regardless of the social distancing rule without having to cope with children running round invading their limited space. But the best thing would be to put up a notice at the entrance saying well behaved under control DCs are welcome, but if parents do not keep them under control, that they will be asked to leave.

That is why groups have been set up to help people like that.

Yeah there are, but they’re not covering all areas, it’s dependant on local people, and where they are able to cover. I don’t understand why you aren’t so determined to assert that everyone has someone who can help. There are some who simply do not. And not due to anything they’ve done wrong!

But honestly most people complaining the most loudly have no real issues.

I’ve no idea how you are able to know that.

@alloutoffucks
There is a local one I went too but he had no milk, bread, pasta or toilet roll. Hence my exceptionally stressful trip to Tesco.
I have decided to go to the local shop tomorrow and ask if he will call me when he gets a delivery. However I don’t know if he is actually allowed to do that.

@alloutoffucks, in that case maybe the volunteers, instead of going to people's houses, could shop for them directly within shops. That would be more efficient and perhaps the stores could arrange something with them.

Most people will have someone who can help. But there really are some people who have no one. And they’re really going to struggle if they can’t take their child into a shop.

@Boudicca

@Livelovebehappy I suspect banning kids to stop kids running around is as much about protecting staff as anything else. It is relatively low risk for customers, but if you are stacking shelves and multiple kids are running by you or bumping into you, it becomes high risk.

@MuddlingMackem the shielded group have been told not to go out at all, not even their own gardens.

When I stopped going out a week ago I hadn't seen toilet rolls or pasta for sale for the past 2 weeks.

@Marieo Jesus 6 x 12hour shifts!!! God help them.

Two of the single mums I know have had to pair up. They go in separate cars and park next to each other, one goes in while the other stands between the cars and supervises both kids while the other shops and then they switch.

Absolutely ridiculous they are having to take these steps.

If I was a single parent and shops banned children I'd be in serious bother. My kids are only 7and 6 so I couldn't just leave them home alone or outside a shop. My mum lives 2 hours away and is self isolating. My dad lives in the same town but is older and has lung disease so couldn't ask him. I know my neighbours to say hello to but not well enough to ask them to do my food shopping or ask them to babysit my kids. Plus we're not meant to be mixing households so I wouldn't feel right even asking them to take my children in and potentially put them at risk. Who knows if there's enough volunteers out there to do all the single parents shopping if they're going to be banned from shops now.

Most people will have someone who can help. But there really are some people who have no one. And they’re really going to struggle if they can’t take their child into a shop.

^This with bells on.