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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is he a prick or isn’t he

111 replies

Happymummy8888 · 27/03/2020 21:41

I have possible Covid 19 it’s been shit but a mild form it seems. My Dh will not self isolate. He reluctantly left work when my temp was 39.5 huffed and puffed the next day as I was told to keep myself away from other family members- that only last until 1130 as he was so rude and snappy with me. The second night I woke could barely breathe and a 39.5 fever again rang him at 4am as he slept in another room with the baby and when he came in he snapped at me again saying I wasn’t taking enough paracetamol (I’d had 10!!)

Anyway today I feel ok but happened to say to him that I felt he should have done more I still had to make dinners and tidy up and bath the kids. He went mad said that I was a hypochondria and can’t see other people being sick I have to make it about me. He seen how bad I was- I also spoke to my brother who is a gp and he is convinced I have it. He said dh shouldn’t be going to work on Monday but he is. I am mortified when I told him he shouldn’t he went mad again and said I shouldn’t have told anyone my symptoms. How uncaring is he? I feel like he would treat a dog better than me. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill here I am so hurt

OP posts:

OnlyLittleMissOrganised · 27/03/2020 22:30

Please tell his work so they can inform him not to come in. He needs to self isolate. It's people like him that will cause us to end up like Italy, Spain and the US. Even if it turns out you didnt have it. It's better safe than sorry.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 27/03/2020 22:36

Could your brother 'anonymously' tell his work? It sounds like he is acting so horribly that if he finds out you rang his work to tell them, he could take it out on you in a horrible way.

Do you think he is scared and in denial or he is actually a nasty twat who's been hiding how unpleasant he is while you've been toeing the line in the past?

Maduixa · 27/03/2020 22:36

He's treating you terribly (and putting your DCs and others in danger). But also - is he thick? You may NOT have it and the symptoms are for something else, but under the circumstances that temperature alone is reason to take precautions and for the household to self-isolate. If he genuinely thought you were faking, all he had to do is stay in the room with you while you take your temp - as presumably he thinks you're sticking the thermometer on the heater when no one's looking, or something equally daft.

KILNAMATRA · 27/03/2020 22:53

Ignore him for now, just focus on making yourself well. You have given him the information. He is an adult and is responsible for his own actions and he can hear and see the news the same as everyone else. Turn on thE TV for the kids, skip the baths, they'll get fine for a few days, get yourself lots of rest and hot drinks to wash those bugs out of your breathing tract, eat well and take care of you. If your chest is tight and you can't breathe or you are not peeing or peeing dark urine go to hospital.

PinkiOcelot · 27/03/2020 22:59

Who the fuck clicked YABU?!!!

I hope he is your soon to be exH OP. What an absolute and utter twat!!

morriseysquif · 27/03/2020 23:06

He sounds foul. Its is quite possible he will get it. Hide the paracetamol.

PositiveVibez · 27/03/2020 23:09

Disgusting piece of shit.

ThePants999 · 27/03/2020 23:15

He is indeed a prick. But - and sorry for going slightly off topic - be careful with the paracetamol please. You shouldn't have more than 8 in 24 hours.

PicsInRed · 27/03/2020 23:17

Abusers begin to show their true face when they feel they have you stuck. I'm guessing you have good family bonds and places you could leave to, therefore he never felt that you were really "stuck". Now it's lockdown. You're stuck. He abuses.

I wouldn't remain married to someone who had let me down so egregiously in such an emergency. What's the point of him? You'd have had less burden without him there and only you and the small kids to look after, rather than an additional big bubba to have to coddle and wait on. Get rid.

myidentitymycrisis · 27/03/2020 23:26

100%

OchAyeThaNoo · 27/03/2020 23:28

Whether you have coronavirus or not is beside the point really here.

You're sick. Whether it's flu, Covid-19 or just a bad cold, you're sick. You feel like shit.
He is completely lacking in sympathy and is expecting you to stop moaning and continue doing all the housework and childcare even though you ARE NOT PHYSICALLY ABLE TO.

I had flu pre-lockdown and DH did everything. He worked, he sorted the kids (enabled them to care for themselves and me while he was working) and despite being the type of chap to say he couldn't so much as boil and egg, he managed to read processed food instructions and knock up nuggets and waffles or a frozen pizza or two. He didn't question or doubt how bad I was feeling. He just made sure I had the hot water bottles and painkillers I said I needed. And that is because he's not a complete and utter twat like your DH.

Call your DH's boss. Or better yet, get your doctor brother to! It's a public health issue. It's THE public health issue.

Oh and when your H comes down with your illness, please do make sure you treat him accordingly.

And then leave the bastard.

DontBe · 27/03/2020 23:29

OP you should only be having 8 paracetamol in 24 hours, it’s dangerous to take more.

However yes your DH is a prick. He could be spreading it. I despair at his selfishness towards you and everyone he comes into contact with. This is why it’s spreading.

NemophilistRebel · 27/03/2020 23:29

My ex was like this

I was never allowed to be ill

I divorced him

AnotherEmma · 27/03/2020 23:31

When this is all over I hope you LTB

carmelsundae · 27/03/2020 23:33

If you do have it then he is likely going to be responsible for someone's death. How he can live with that, I don't know. People are dying all over the place and he is contributing to the spreading of it.
Even if you don't have it, how can he take the risk that he 'might' be responsible for someones death. Can the polices new powers not be used in this case where he is refusing to isolate. Id report him and see if he listens then.

Holothane · 28/03/2020 00:18

Get rid as soon as, my hubby is very strict, we keep each other strong we are both disabled so lots of health issues.

Rosspoldarkssaddle · 28/03/2020 00:37

Does he think that the 18 year old that died was putting it on?
Does he think that caring for sick children as their little bodies are racked with it is inconvenient?
You get it, it is highly infectious, kills people young and old and you are being unreasonable to follow government advice?

I don't care if he is usually good and a great father.
He has put your children at risk
He has put other people at risk
He has put his company's revenue and staff at risk.
He cant even run the house when you are too I'll to do it.
Even the CMO says rest, fluids, paracetamol and more rest.
And you want to retire with this man? What happens if you develop a life changing illness? Will he step up and act as a team member or moan, resent, tell you you are putting it on, and generally guilt you into doing stuff you shouldn't?. Think about this full time, 100% and all through your dotage?

Notapheasantplucker · 28/03/2020 00:43

He sounds like a massive prick🍆

ALongHardWinter · 28/03/2020 00:46

Sorry to hear you're unwell OP,but I'm surprised you even have to ask this question. He is absolutely behaving like a prize prick. Hope you feel better soon.

SoleBizzz · 28/03/2020 00:48

He hates you

Bellad19 · 28/03/2020 01:30

Ring his boss and let his boss know you have symptoms and have been advised to self isolate along with everyone else in your household and that your husband is refusing, I’m sure his boss if they have any common sense will take over and say to your husband not to come in to work! And yes, he is a big prick!! How uncaring can you be!

aussieaussieaussieoioioi · 28/03/2020 02:06

When he gets it, don't do a thing for him.

And please consider divorcing him as he's an asshole.

Original poster

Happymummy8888 · 28/03/2020 03:35

Hi all I know it’s only 8 but I was in so much agony I needed them, the pain was honestly unbelievable. We spoke tonight and he is not budging in the work front- he said to me why are you telling me not to go to work. I said to him it’s not me it’s the government!!! Then he said so u think u have Covid it’s just a flu wise up.

I said I was only going by what my brother told me and obv the media- fever ✔️ dry cough ✔️ sore throat ✔️ and with those symptoms we presume Covid and self isolate.

I really would just love him to just ask me how I’m feeling he hasn’t asked once

OP posts:

SleepyKYP · 28/03/2020 03:54

He must isolate! Someone will die because of his selfish behaviour. He is putting everyone but especially people on the front line (including GPs like your brother) at risk. Hope you feel better soon

Coyoacan · 28/03/2020 04:02

He sounds absolutely horrible, OP. I'm so sorry.

But don't ever take an overdose of paracetamol again. You could seriously damage your liver.

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