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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to borrow space under someone's patio

82 replies

PatioCandidate · 27/03/2020 11:07

DH working from home for the first time today. I've been working at home since lockdown, we're in the same occupation but different fields. I've already had to interrupt what I was doing to sort out his internet connection.

In a burst of wifely affection I just took him a coffee and asked him whether he was going to come out to wave at the neighbours - we've developed a nice little tradition of going out at a set time to check we're all OK and have a quick long distance chat. So he immediately looked harassed and put upon, like this was some dreadful imposition. I took the piss a bit about Mr Cheerful, whereupon he said "MY work needs brain concentration". Because of course mine is a total doddle.

That's definitely the last coffee he gets brought. Something tells me it's going to be a l o o o o o n g lockdown, I may need to DH sized space under a patio before too long.

OP posts:

Soubriquet · 27/03/2020 11:10

Didn’t you know OP?

His work is so much harder AND more important

Merryoldgoat · 27/03/2020 11:11

I understand where you’re coming from, but we completely leave each other alone when we’re working. I’m working on some quite tricky stuff atm (obv not this minute!) and really wouldn’t appreciate being interrupted.

However I wouldn’t have implied my DH wasn’t using his brain when working. That would be extremely rude.

Siameasy · 27/03/2020 11:17

Yanbu
Hoping to resurrect Fred West here to deal with DH’s foibles
And we are still both working outside the home

RandomLondoner · 27/03/2020 11:18

When I was doing a software engineering course in the early 80's, we were taught that after a short interruption, like the conversation you describe, it takes about 20 minutes to recover your mental state.

Obviously I don't know if he does work that requires that level of concentration.

Wearywithteens · 27/03/2020 12:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SachaStark · 27/03/2020 12:04

I think we are all going to kill each other in my house!

DH is now trying to run his business out of our bedroom, down the hallway. Meanwhile, I’m in the living room teaching via video link, being slightly wild and loud, because they’re teenagers after all, and I’ve got to compete with tiktok for their attention spans. Meanwhile, my brother, who lives with us, is trying to make important and sensitive phone calls next door from his makeshift office in the conservatory.

OH ITS ALL FUN AND GAMES.

I think they will be very happy when the Easter holidays start at the end of the day, and I shut up at least

MouthBreathingRage · 27/03/2020 12:10

To be honest, I'd not want to be disturbed to 'wave at the neighbours' like I was the Queen atop Buckingham Palace. It's nice you're checking up on each other, but if he's the type of person to just get on with it when hes in a work-flow, I can't really blame him for getting a bit narked.

Stickybeaksid · 27/03/2020 12:16

His poor brain. Stop disturbing him with your wifely interactions.

ssd · 27/03/2020 12:19

Waving at the neighbours?
Come on!!!

iklboo · 27/03/2020 12:20

Brain concentration? Is there another kind?

Namethecat · 27/03/2020 12:25

Well ........ We were halfway into a major gardening project and have a nice big hole, quite deep , going spare ! You may pay me in loo rolls

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 27/03/2020 12:26

Two empty houses with patios available here ;)

Give him a chance to get used to it. I'm basically leaving mine too it... I know all his conference call times to keep things quiet.

KevinsCarter · 27/03/2020 12:28

Yep. DH has been installed in his study for almost a month. On one hand we are so lucky that he isn't being furloughed, but on the other, he is being bloody difficult.
Working in pyjamas and dressing gown.
Refusing to do the simplest bits of tidying his enviornment.
Making disgusting messes in the toilet.
Refusing to help at all with DD who is running me ragged.
I had him watch her whilst I went to buy food. She was as good as gold, but he had to tell me that 'he can't do it again'. Apparently she asked too many questions.
Wanker.

billy1966 · 27/03/2020 12:28

Even more of a reason to keep in with the neighbours OP😘👍

Falangalangadingdang · 27/03/2020 12:29

I've got two patios so you can use one of mine. The other is being saved for my dh who will be wfh next week. I'm furloughed so I'm freeee to do what I want and am not looking forwards to what's coming...

mateysmum · 27/03/2020 12:31

I think there's a business opportunity here for anyone with an expansive patio.

I bet by the time we're through this you would have a stream of customers.

dudsville · 27/03/2020 12:32

I'm enjoying wfh with my OH, but I've learned I don't like the way he sneezes...

fiddlethefiddles · 27/03/2020 12:33

He's at work, he's not there to wave at the neighbours FFS. You crack on and wave away and let him do his work - just like you should expect him to if you are working.

ssd · 27/03/2020 12:39

If dh made me stand out side and wave at the neighbours I'd go under that patio voluntarily.

Doggomatic · 27/03/2020 12:40

I see both sides here.

I'm now WFH and distracted left right and centre by kids, dogs, ooh a squirrel outside! Whatever. My efficiency is about at 50%. Mumsnet does not help.

I think if I'd finally managed to get my brain into work mode an my OH had come in with a cheery coffee and some flannel about whatnot I'd get eggy too (depending on how I was feeling).

I think the only thing that will save couples both trying to WFH at this time is noise cancelling headphones and putting sharp objects in a lockbox.

PumpkinPie2016 · 27/03/2020 12:41

I have a field available if anyone gets desperate Nice and rural - you wouldn't be noticed

On a serious note, I guess it will take time to get used to a new way of living/working for us all.

I have been at home a week but due to a family bereavement I have been on compassionate leave so haven't actually been working/contacting my team. I will restart on Monday so will see how it goes.

So far, it's all fairly harmonious in our household. Hoping it stays that way!

TheDogsMother · 27/03/2020 12:42

Thankfully we both worked from home full time before this so well past the killing each other phase. I feel for all of you though, I really do.

Allaboardthemagicbus2020 · 27/03/2020 12:45

I am so glad I am single.

HopeYouStepOnALego · 27/03/2020 12:46

@Namethecat - how big is the hole in your garden - enough for 2 bodies? I may need space too and I have a pack of 9 Andrex I might be able to part with....

Dyrne · 27/03/2020 13:03

I can sympathise with your DH tbh. It’s difficult enough me managing to concentrate properly with WFH; if DP tried to jolly me along outside when I was neck deep in technical documents I’d probably be a bit snippy too. It’s not that my work is so much more important, it’s just at certain times it actually really is a pain in the arse to be interrupted as it then takes ages to get back your train of thought. I bet you are the same at points during the day and wouldn’t appreciate interruptions.

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