Or not? Friend wants me to go to supermarket with her?

[tanff]

My friend asked me if tomorrow I would go food shopping with her as she is scared.
She has bad anxiety and is terrified of this coronavirus.
I have enough shopping and plan to order one for two weeks from now.
I care for my 98 year old gran (who lives a 3 min walk and I see nobody )
I don't want to go to the supermarket just incase but if I don't go my friend won't be able to go alone.
I don't know what to do.

She should check out the smaller retailers, our local fish and chip shop are obviously closed apart from deliveries, they are offering basics from their wholesalers like potatoes, eggs, milk for delivery. Anything banking can be done online or over the phone.

If she usually goes out on her own - what’s the problem?

I think it's more her thinking "if I'm risking myself catching it,I want someone else to risk it with me"

My friend does go out on her own most of the time except when her boyfriend takes her.
She's just terrified of catching this.

So she wants you to come with her so that you can catch it too? Misery loves company and all that?

I understand that she is scared, lots of people are, but she is also utterly selfish.

Hopefully she realises I would do anything for anybody You've got a dodgy dynamic going on there. Being a doormat is not a good character trait. Good people say no to bad things and are happy to be seen to be pushing back.

I think it's more her thinking "if I'm risking myself catching it,I want someone else to risk it with me

Christ! Why are you friends with this selfish life sucker?

Your friend is a twat. Did she not listen to the PM’s message? Don’t go anywhere with someone who’s not in your household. Ffs. Don’t even consider going with her.

Is she a bully? Is she playing with you making an outrageous request to see if you will capitulate?

I'm 100% not going.
If it was the other way around she wouldn't do it for me.
Surely she will think of all the favours I've done for her lately (got her shopping last week and took her breakfast)
Ordered her clothes online (as I get ASOS free next day delivery )
So hopefully she will understand

Can't she give you her list and you do the shopping for her?

Why on earth should OP do a supermarket shop if she doesn’t need to? Let the friend take her own bloody risk.

So hopefully she will understand

You are too nice. Why are you concerned about her understanding that you aren’t going to risk the health of your elderly family members just so she gets her own selfish way?

This seems a one-sided friendship. What favours does she do for you?

We've got it.

Don't go. Not worth it. My husband went to Cheltenham races. 28 of them now have it.

I’m sorry, she’s an idiot. There’s no time for pandering to that crap at the moment.

It's HIGHLY contagious

You arent allowed fgs

I work with local govt enablers, they've had all their community work suspended. You need to protect your family. Her best bet is finding local community builders or local Facebook covid support groups. Hundreds of people on there offering to help

I think it's more her thinking "if I'm risking myself catching it,I want someone else to risk it with me"

Do you not see how selfish this sounds of her? Doing anything for anyone is not a healthy character trait.

If you went out to the shops, yes there would be a chance you catch it. If you go on a walk, there is still a chance you catch it. Significantly less than the shops, but all of these measures are about reducing the risk (not removing) and reducing social contact so the infection rate drops to a more manageable rate.

I suffer with anxiety. I’d never ask this of someone, particularly not a carer.

There are local community groups who want to help people - if she asked her wider community if anyone was already going to the shop and could get her some essentials, this could be a way to deal with it.

Wanting to go to the bank and two shops sounds to me like she wants to play down the severity and convince herself. Going with her could help that train of thought which isn’t helpful for her.

I lost a relative to covid 19 this evening, you don't get to say goodbye you don't get to have the normal funeral. Please protect your Nan and others, I have sympathy for your friend's anxiety but she needs to find another way. Face timing sounds like a good alternative.

Tell her to put her big girl pants on!

Anxiety is a very overwhelming illness which can make people appear very selfish. You have done all that you can fairly offer now. Give her some signposting and stick to your guns you sound like you're going to be strong for your own responsibilities.

Anxiety is a very overwhelming illness which can make people appear very selfish.

And being able to claim ‘anxiety’ is a gift to selfish people, eh?

Who cares if she ‘understands’? She needs to understand a whole lot more than just trying manipulation techniques on the gullible.

People who defied advice and went to view animals being abused for their own pleasure are now ill? Oh no.

Btw I actually have anxiety thanks to my shit mother and PTSD. Unsurprisingly it does not make me demand that other people die to indulge me, it is entirely the sufferers problem to deal with, no one owes anyone constant validation, support, or sympathy.
Tell the CF ‘obviously I won’t be putting my grandmother at risk, and defying the law. See you in autumn maybe.’

it is entirely the sufferers problem to deal with

I guess that explains why mental health services are so shitty then. Clearly everyone with mental health issues should just be left to deal with it on their own.

OP clearly you can't go. Everyone else, no-one here knows the friend, we have no idea how bad her anxiety is, if she's been diagnosed, what treatment she's had. Lets not have the people with mental health should pull themselves together and get over it crap.