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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so sad for my 3 year old

119 replies

Myfriendanxiety · 22/03/2020 17:57

I know there are people with bigger issues so I’m not comparing it to others- but I feel so sad about the current situation for my 3 year old.

He loves his friends, loves his preschool, loves playing out with friends, going to soft play and activities etc. All of this has stopped and he is just home with me 24/7. I just feel so sad for him that his little world has changed so quickly and he doesn’t understand why. He has some sensory issues and needs his routines so I worry how all this could affect him longer term.

Anyone else feeling sad about this at the minute?

OP posts:
Raisingawolfpack · 22/03/2020 17:59

I feel so greatful for what I have. But I am going to have to try and work full time with my 2 and 5 year old at home. I worry about how to balance things and what the impact will be on them.

BritWifeinUSA · 22/03/2020 18:00

Not at all. It reminds me of the saying “I wouldn’t change my child for the world but how I wish I could change the world for my child”.

Vettyvetvet · 22/03/2020 18:01

I feel the same. But, more than anything, one to one with parents at this young age will be so beneficial and is what they would choose, if they had to. They won't even remember the time they had to stay at home....

Original poster
Myfriendanxiety · 22/03/2020 18:56

@Vettyvetvet that’s what I’m holding on to. That he is still young enough to forget this time.

I also have a just turned 1 year old and she hasn’t got a clue what’s going on!

OP posts:
Original poster
Myfriendanxiety · 22/03/2020 18:57

I am a teacher and DH works in the NHS so both will have to work, but I am lucky that I am only rota’d into school once in the next 4 weeks.

OP posts:
Cityzen74 · 22/03/2020 19:05

I feel so sad for my 29 month old too but I think he will be glad of the extra time with us and hopefully won’t miss nursery and his friends too much!

BubblesBuddy · 22/03/2020 19:08

Do children have real friends at 3? I don’t think so. They will adjust and forget about it afterwards. If you don’t mention other DC, will they ask about them in detail in 3 weeks? Probably not. They will be more interested in what they are doing with you! Who will now be the centre of their world.

Marieo · 22/03/2020 19:10

Yes, DS loves going to the childminders, but making the most of being in the fortunate position of being able to spend every day with him. It's not an ideal situation for anyone, we are all making sacrifices, some bigger than others, he probably won't even remember it when he is older.

BendingSpoons · 22/03/2020 19:11

DD is just 4. I'm sad for her but I think she will quite enjoy having mummy or daddy as playmates and will hopefully get used to the new routine quite quickly. She is also young enough that she enjoys quite simple activities we can do at home.

DS is 13 months and thinks it's great mummy doesn't go out anymore! Working from home will be interesting!

Twickerhun · 22/03/2020 19:15

My 3 year old is similar. I’ve had a good. Cry about it to be honest. He definitely had friends he asks for regularly. One of his childcare friends moved a few months ago and he still misses her. I think he will regress socially and educationally but will bounce back - I’m just not looking forward to the next 12+ weeks for his sake.

elliejjtiny · 22/03/2020 19:16

I understand. My 5 year old has asd and is really struggling with the changes he doesn't understand. His teacher has been really good and sent me copies of his favourite maths worksheets for him. He was so pleased, he keeps hugging them. Ironically we normally have a massive battle to get him into school and he says he hates it there.

NoKnit · 22/03/2020 19:20

My kids are loving being at home and although it's exhausting and frustrating I'm enjoying it too. At 3 they'll be a bit meh about it all anyway. Mine are 6 and 4 next month and understand enough to be scared

itshappened · 22/03/2020 19:24

I feel the same. We don't even have a garden and I live in London where they are closing parks, so I just don't know how I'm going to give my children all the exercise and fun that they usually have in daycare and their weekend classes. I also think they can sense something is wrong, and are already asking when they can see their friends. We also have had to cancel a third birthday party, which has been a source of excitement for months. It's hard because they just don't understand why they can play on the swings or have a party etc. Obviously the most important thing is we all stay healthy and we don't put anyone at risk... but nonetheless I feel sad.

Caterina99 · 22/03/2020 19:30

To be honest I don’t think my nearly 5 year old minds that much. We’re a week into school closing here so we’ve not left the house (except for the garden) since last Saturday.

He does ask about school and going out and seeing friends, but he seems happy enough to stay at home with me and DH and his little sister.

I’m very grateful that my kids are too little to really understand.

Caterina99 · 22/03/2020 19:30

And I do feel sad. It’s horrible. I just think I’m more affected than they are

bigmamama · 22/03/2020 19:36

Yes it's been 5 days into isolation and it's already a nightmare, 3 year old is very energetic very active used to going to private nursery and then school and from that to being housebound with mammy daddy and baby brother is a struggle! He's cheeky constantly bored, we've been through every game, colouring book all his cars and toys he now resents the baby because he needs a lot of my attention. He just wants to eat all the fruit and sweets and drink all the juice but unfortunately Iv had to restrict it all as we have hardly anything in our supermarkets and I don't know when il be able to re stock. He keeps asking for his little school friends and we live close to a park which we haven't been to because it's been chocka all weekend. I'm absolutely dreading the next few weeks or months.

Original poster
Myfriendanxiety · 22/03/2020 19:41

I don’t have DH home as he is still working out of the house so I miss the adult conversation during the day.

DS definitely has friends, there are 2 boys at the childminders that he talks about all the time and is missing them terribly.

OP posts:
Goinglive · 22/03/2020 19:48

I feel like this. Mine are teenagers, in year 7, 9 and 11 respectively at high school.
DS has missed his GCSES, DS2 is missing the end of his final non GCSE year and DD is missing the end of her first year at High School.

They all have friends and they're obviously old enough to know what's going on.DS2 has anxiety so we're having to keep an eye on him as it's gone through the roof.

I think we all feel sad for our children, being denied what should have been a given for them, watching them being scared and uncertain.

But if they are healthy that really is all that matters

ItchyScratch · 22/03/2020 19:58

Yep I am with you!

My just turned 3 year old lives for nursery. She absolutely loves the place.
She has two best friends that she talks about ALL the time.
When it’s a none nursery day she asks if she can go. When it’s a nursery day she gets dressed quickly and can’t wait to go.

So how do I tell her tomorrow that it’s off now.
She won’t belive me! She won’t understand!
She will demand to go!
She will want to see her bezzies!

Poor kids.

gingganggooleywotsit · 22/03/2020 19:59

feel sad for my 4 year old too, his sister is 13 so he has nobody his own age to play with. Dad and I both off and playing with him non stop and he seems to be having a pretty good time. Feel worried that my 13 year old ie going to become a total screen addict too!

Jaxhog · 22/03/2020 20:04

What lovely parents you all are! It's thanks to you, that the rest of us will be safer. We owe you one.

1981m · 22/03/2020 20:05

I also feel sad for my dcs. Dd has just started reception and her first year of school has probably been lost. She won't get that back and it lays the foundation for all future years at school I think. She should be carefree and playing at school and was just starting friendships. Instead she is likely to go straight into year 1 where things step up a level academically. She's really missed out.

I also feel for ds as he is in his last year of infants school, so I feel that's his last year in the loveliness and safety of his lovely little infants school begins going to junior school. He will be expected to be much more independent in junior school but won't have had the normal preparation they get. No final summer concert for us and no photograph of both dcs in the infant school together. He had a bad time in year 1 and had just his motivation and love of school back. Plus they mix up the classes for junior school so he will hardly see some of his friends and had no chance to say goodbye.

Fatted · 22/03/2020 20:10

My kids are absolutely loving it and in all honesty, I think they prefer being home! The only thing I worry about is making sure we do enough educationally for them, while trying to work and everything else!

At three years old, your DC will love being at home and having the time with you. I was lucky enough to to be home with my two when they were that young.

BlueMoon1103 · 22/03/2020 20:10

I feel sad for my DS and he’s only 1 so you have every right to. He gets bored so easily and really struggles at home, as someone with anxiety and depression that in turn means I struggle too Sad we’re going for walks but there’s not much in it for him.

Xansaf · 22/03/2020 20:15

I feel sad for mine too. She’s supposed to start school in September (her school has a nursery class), if that even happens! But now she faces never going back to her current day nursery and seeing those first friends again. I had stayed on reduced hours to spend this summer being able to take her out to do fun stuff. She won’t be able to see her grandparents who live overseas or go on the holidays she’s looked forward to for so long. Oh call me selfish and there are bigger pictures to look at but she’s 3. And she doesn’t know that.

To be honest I’m just feeling like I’m losing the will right now. What’s the point of fighting this thing when there’ll be nothing left to live for when, or even IF, this ever ends.