To feel so sad for my 3 year old

[Myfriendanxiety]

I know there are people with bigger issues so I’m not comparing it to others- but I feel so sad about the current situation for my 3 year old.

He loves his friends, loves his preschool, loves playing out with friends, going to soft play and activities etc. All of this has stopped and he is just home with me 24/7. I just feel so sad for him that his little world has changed so quickly and he doesn’t understand why. He has some sensory issues and needs his routines so I worry how all this could affect him longer term.

Anyone else feeling sad about this at the minute?

My children most certainly did have friends at 3 years old. Friends who they sought out at pre school, played with, talked about when they got home...
in fact DD1’s best friend is a girl she went to pre school with. They go to different schools but became so close at pre school that we stayed in touch with her parents and arrange play dates etc. They still chat about the games they used to play at pre school!

I am telling you now. This will affect children long and short term over the age of two especially. They have lost everything that used to stimulate them. Swimming, treats, days out, friendships, teachers, outdoor activities with friends, playgroups, nursery, school, after school clubs, sports, etc etc etc.

@Pollydollx, if the repetition of the incredibly sugary, sentimental material further up the thread suggests you are the same posted who started a thread called 'Letter to my Five Year Old' a few days ago with lots of wailing about how your daughter will never see her reception peg again, and will miss her first school sports day might I suggest in the nicest possible way that you get a grip? You sound incredibly anxious, and as though you're projecting all kinds of adult emotions on your child.

No one's suggesting that coronavirus is the nicest thing that's ever happened to children, but suggesting at this early stage in proceedings that your children will be afraid to leave the house and lose all their socialisation/phonics/relationships is catastrophising and unproductive. Sure, your child will ask to do things she can't do and miss her classmates, but it's on you to help her manage that, rather than trying to get the rest of the world to accept your Vale of Tears For My Child View.

I'm not in the UK and we're on day twelve of no school and social distancing, and we're managing.

Please dont dwell on these thoughts. We have to be in this for the long haul. If he is fed and loved he will be fine

@GalleyHead what letter to a five year old??? No I haven't. I have an opinion. I am entitled to one. Are you saying parents arnt allowed to be worried about their kids? Do you know everyone's children personally and how they respond and react to change. How ignorant of you to think you can tell me how my child and other children I know will cope. How many times have you experienced young children being stuck in the house for months on end without their friends and a life? I bet you you have not seen it once in your lifetime so don't just assume you are an expert and kids will just get over it it. you are so ignorant and so cold I feel sorry for your children having a mum like you who can't sympathise with how difficult this is going to be for them.I hope you are capable of showing your children a little bit of affection and showing them it's ok to be worried at this shit time?

Totally with you op.

My almost 3 y o loves nursery (and I love the freedom bit gives me, not just on terms of work either) and is badly missing her little friend (s) although they are video calling but it's not the same.
She's also missing swimming lessons - she loves her fantastic swimming instructor Stephanie - and was doing do well at them.
She'll survive I know but being stuck inside most of the time, not even being able to go to the park, not being able to see Nannie and grandad or her cousins (who are her heroes) can't be much fun for me included 😟
Hoping it's all over quickly and painlessly for everyone - keep safe

@Pollydollx, there was a thread doing remarkably similar wailing and catatrophising about a five year old no longer able to giggle with her friends, do PE, missing the rest of reception. Everyone told that poster to get a grip, from what I remember.

I have no idea how your child will cope. But for the love of god, calm down about it all and stop catastrophising about a destroyed generation without social skills, for both of your sakes.

You are not an expert and this will affect our kids. It was not written by me but have a look around on here and you will see alot of parents sad for their young children. Just because you can't relate to our concerns doesn't mean you get to put us down. Let's hope you are right and kids bounce straight back. Im pretty sure it's going to mess up alot of youngsters being kept away for months.

Yes I am feeling for my child. Her first school year. Her first class and teacher. Not that I have to explain my child to you but she was extremely anxious before starting school. She won't speak to most adults. She freezes. But the school staff have got her talking. She's starting to relax and because of that she's improving with her work etc. It will massively knock her when she goes back if it's not the place she left. She's only little. So you might want to throw up over my soppy posts on this thread but I really don't care! I will always worry for my child.... Especially when something is happening this big in her young life and I can't make it easier for her. Have a word with yourself. If you can't sympathise with parents having a wobble and supporting eachother move on! Typical response on the aibu board. Bullying troll!

Same for my DD. She'll be 4 next week. We had an incredible, once in a lifetime holiday booked (due to leave this weekend) and had been discussing with her for months all the wonderful things we'd be doing over her birthday.
Now, there's no holiday, and we're stuck inside and won't be able to see anyone or do anything.

It's a bit shitty, but we're trying to make the best out of a bad situation. Having our health is the most important thing of all right now.

This is a strange thread..............................................................................

Parents really need to get a grip. Do you realise that, in Italy, deaths are overwhelmingly in the over 75 age range and in people that have other health issues. I would worry more about the elderly rather than the very young.

Children move house, move to different schools, lose grandparents, have significant changes to their families and even lose parents and siblings, not to mention pets and friends that move away, so not going to nursery isn’t the same and can be managed. It certainly isn’t the same as the losses that would happen if we didn’t isolate. So get a grip.

And no, babies at 9 months are not “friends”. They associate because their parents decide that’s what they will do. You, as parents, wish to see other parents. The child or baby isn’t deciding who they wish to be friends with, you decide for them.

My 20 mo DD is suspected autism, she misses her special nursery, the swings etc. But we are self isolating, my 8 mo has covid symptoms, my oldest DS also has symptoms, I fall under the high risk category so I'm feeling quite stressed.

Humans are resilient or need to be. Look what our forbears dealt with. How did Anne Franks parents feel? Yes we had a little cry at the loss of dds year 6 summer and I am sympathetic but I think our generation is if anything too focussed on our kids being happy at all times - myself included. As my granny said “life wasn’t meant to be easy”. She lost 2 brothers and father before she was 15

NBU to feel sad, especially as little ones can't begin to understand why these things are no longer possible.

I think people are allowed to express how they are feeling on here without people saying get a grip for your children. Has it not occured to you that people can hold it together just fine but try and talk to other mums on here about it. I haven't showed my kids any fear of sadness. I've just felt it for them. It's a very old fashioned view to think we worry to much about our kids being happy all the time. It's not like we are saying they really wanted a toy and I said no. Or they are bored in half term and we are sad for them.

Just wait and see though. When the day comes in months and months of them doing absolutely nothing and we say back to school tomorrow. Let's hope we don't have thousands of new mental health problems in kids and teenagers. We are supposed to be more aware of these things now. Yet people on here are pretty much saying get a grip your kids don't have friends and they will get over it. When a child moves school they are being put with another bunch of kids. Some of who will grab the new kid and involve them straight away.

Would you say I was healthy and going to be ok if I said that's it now (not in this Corona situation) For the next six months I'm doing nothing. I'm not leaving the house. I'm not going to see anyone? You'd be the first to say get a grip (that word is loved on here) and get yourself out or to the drs as you clearly need help.

Just because kids don't have a choice it doesn't mean it's healthy for them.

I have a 3 yo and she was very sad. Better now her sister is off school. They won adapt to a new normal, try and make it as fun as possible

Come on people! It's not forever, buckle up for the ride and get on with it the best you can. We're not school teachers, we're parents trying our best, whilst some of us still have to work from home at the same time. We're into week 2 here in NL and yes, only 1 person can go for a run, only 1 person can go to shop, a 400Euro fine if more than 3 people who are not family are out together, no more than 3 visitors per family etc etc. Yes it's hard, but everyone in Europe and the world is doing this for our own health and that of our eldery and frail.

I totally agree, IScreamForIceCream. Children can be happy with their parents! It’s just about selling the change to them. We also need to realise that most young DC don’t know it’s Monday and it’s nursery! They know because you action it.

I said very young children don’t form firm friendships. I didn’t say primary age dc and certainly not older dc. The post was about a 3 year old. Primary age dc could understand why the school is closed. What seems to be happening a parents missing what their dc should have had. Most of it will be replaced at a later stage. The references to phonics and maths are marginal in the life of a 3 year old. It’s fairly easy to build in such things to everyday life. I suggest everyone looks at home schooling resources to help.

Absolutely ok OP.

At that age they are loving their little social life and all the little outings they go on.

I would try and bring a new structure to his day.

Make a list of activities and have a start and finish time.

Include simple baking if you can.

Rotating toys for a limited time and putting them away.
Have book time, where you read a short story.
Give him a spray bottle filled with water to go cleaning and wiping around the house.

He can also spray plants with the water.
Laps of the garden is great, if you have a garden.
Set up a little obstacle course for him to do laps of while you count and encourage.
This was a great way for me to exhaust my children when they were young and wound up.😘
Bringing any little bit of structure to the day will definitely help him and you.
Make the list with his help.

Best of luck