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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it amusing the lengths some parents will go to in order to be apart from their kids?

203 replies

WelcomeToTheAssEatery · 20/03/2020 21:24

Just that really. My employer has given us permission to work from home to reduce the amount of people on site in order to reduce risk of contracting COVID-19.

However there are some parents in my office who are STILL coming to work just so they don't have to deal with their kids. I just find it wild.

Someone actually said today they couldn't care less about contracting the virus, they just don't want to be at home.

It makes me wonder what the point of having kids for some people is if they will go to such lengths to avoid spending time with them.

OP posts:
SidsWife · 21/03/2020 20:58

@TabbyMumz home with them ALL THE TIME.

Fuck me.

Yeah sorry I have people to keep alive. I’m such a shit person.

BuzzingtheBee · 21/03/2020 21:00

As tough as its going to be... its better than causing deaths by sending your Dcs when not totally neccessary

BeetrootRocks · 21/03/2020 21:10

I suppose it was meant to be light hearted but lots of people will be at home with kids in really difficult circs eg people in substandard or overcrowded housing, those who live in inner cities without much access to green space that they can reasonably get to, I'm sure there's lots of other examples.

On top of that of course it seems inevitable that people will die and children will lose parents.

So while it may have been supposed as a joke it's not in great taste.

I had pnd which sadly lasted some years. Being at home with my kids for my 2 mat leaves and working part time between was the worst time of my life. I really enjoy working, and am one of those people happier at work than at home with kids. But even when I was really Ill and not knowing how to keep going, I knew I couldn't do anything because leaving kids without a mum is just really not good.

SidsWife · 21/03/2020 21:14

It wasn’t a joke. I tried to kill myself twice when I was at home with my kids.

Now I work, study and have some sort of sense of purpose again and I will never put myself in that situation again. My husband was much more suited to it than I was.

GA2012 · 21/03/2020 21:17

I love my kids, I feel I’m a good mother but my god the thought of potentially having them home for weeks and months is scary. They both have additional needs. They need the structure and routine of a school day. They could have stayed in school having an EHCP but I will be keeping them off! Like I said I love them but they are hard work!

BeetrootRocks · 21/03/2020 21:26

Sid you understand that there are plenty of other women who struggle like that who have no choice but to be at home now, and currently with no respite with school, nursery and really able to go out?

I'm sorry you were ill and glad you are better now but how do you think your words land with others who are feeling now like you did then.

mochajoes · 21/03/2020 21:29

I'm with @GA2012 & am keeping them off. But I will likely have to give up work or have a breakdown due to exhaustion. My 3 yo has a speech delay so Im really worried about the lack of socialisation & also need to educate my 7 yo

mochajoes · 21/03/2020 21:30

I purposefully work for the mental benefits & I need the structure & routine.

SidsWife · 21/03/2020 21:32

I was answering the OP on why I’m one of those parents who doesn’t want to be with my kids 24/7. How other people take my words is not my problem.

TabbyMumz · 21/03/2020 21:38

"SidsWife

@TabbyMumzhome with them ALL THE TIME.

Fuck me.

Yeah sorry I have people to keep alive. I’m such a shit person."

If that helps you feel like a better person, great.

I just find it awful you were pleased you were a key worker so you wouldnt be with your kids. Imagine if someone said that about you. Ie they would rather be at work than be with you. Very sad.

SidsWife · 21/03/2020 21:48

You keep twisting my words to suit your agenda hun, if it makes you feel better.

TabbyMumz · 21/03/2020 21:50

"Yeah sorry I have people to keep alive. I’m such a shit person."
Tell me, how do Support workers do that?

SidsWife · 21/03/2020 21:55

I’m a student PA, working in an A&E. I did some support work to get some dementia training. Really flattered that you advance searched me though. I had pancakes for breakfast, just to add to your notes.

TabbyMumz · 21/03/2020 21:58

Ah so your not directly saving lives then, like a Doctor or something...if you make comments like that to make people think you are a hero, people are going to look you up.

SidsWife · 21/03/2020 22:00

Performing CPR on someone who has stopped breathing isn’t keeping them alive?

Ok then!

BeetrootRocks · 21/03/2020 22:01

Everyone working in NHS from consultant to cleaner is vital right now.

SidsWife · 21/03/2020 22:01

What are you doing to help? Other than look down your nose at people who are sending their kids to a safe place so they can help out during a global pandemic...

TabbyMumz · 21/03/2020 22:04

"Performing CPR on someone who has stopped breathing isn’t keeping them alive?"
They really let student PA's do that yeah right. Look. People who save lives, dont boast about it or use it to make them seem to be a better person or better than anyone else.

Whatsername177 · 21/03/2020 22:04

I'm a teacher. I'm going to be teaching from home on the days that I'm not rota'd in to look after key workers kids. I'm teaching virtually, and will have a 3 yo and 8 yo running around. It is going to be tough. But, I'm not sending my kids in even though I'm a key worker - we all need to socially distance and sacrifice. I'm currently on 14 day isolation as Dh developed a cough last week. I hate being at home and stuck. Nowhere to go except for the garden. The kids are already crawling the walls, but what else can I do? I have to wfh. My kids have stay at home. We are going to produce a timetable for dd8. Going to do JoE Wicks PE lesson every morning and I've got every puzzle and craft kit for my kids to do, in between work set by the school. I will miss my work, my colleagues, my freedom. But, what else can we do? I can take care of key workers kids when I'm allowed in to school - that will be 1-2 days per week max. Other than that, I can stay at home. My great grandad was asked to fight in a war. I'm being asked to stay in doors with my own kids. I can do it and so can everyone else.

Pineapple1 · 21/03/2020 22:06

So many so called parents will do anything and say anything to avoid looking after their kids.

As they say... A dog is for life, not just for Christmas... Oh I mean a child... Not a dog.

TabbyMumz · 21/03/2020 22:06

You remind me of someone I knew who boasted she was in the "book industry", when all she did was stack shelves at Waterstones.

SidsWife · 21/03/2020 22:07

Unless your working in a hospital tabby you have no fucking idea what’s going on right now. There was a thread on here yesterday about someone who’s been asking to work as nurse who isn’t even a nurse. And I’m doing it voluntarily, not even being paid. So yes, it does make me not a shit person. Unlike you.

AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings · 21/03/2020 22:30

I think there should be a rule that all childless posters who write posts slagging off 'bad' parents should be forced to re-read said posts if they ever choose to become parents themselves.

LonelyandLost80 · 21/03/2020 22:32

@sidswife what a completely ridiculous and naive thing to say! You don’t have to work in a hospital to know what’s going on right now. There are other critical workers, especially in the education industry who are damn well aware of exactly what’s going on right now. We’re putting our own life’s and our family’s lives at risk to look after your children!

Bumbledumb · 21/03/2020 22:46

My wife is a key worker and I work from home, but I will not be sending our son into school on Monday. He's nine years old now, but I have taken care of him while working from home since he was a baby. It was a challenge, but it was not that difficult. I certainly do not agree with the PP who said that working from home with a toddler is impossible.
It is possible that he has always known that Dad works from home, so it is not much of novelty for him to always have me there but not 100% available. How many of you saying it is not possible have actually tried it for any length of time?