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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it amusing the lengths some parents will go to in order to be apart from their kids?

203 replies

WelcomeToTheAssEatery · 20/03/2020 21:24

Just that really. My employer has given us permission to work from home to reduce the amount of people on site in order to reduce risk of contracting COVID-19.

However there are some parents in my office who are STILL coming to work just so they don't have to deal with their kids. I just find it wild.

Someone actually said today they couldn't care less about contracting the virus, they just don't want to be at home.

It makes me wonder what the point of having kids for some people is if they will go to such lengths to avoid spending time with them.

OP posts:
AnotherDingle · 20/03/2020 21:45

‘You’re not a parent so you’re not in a position to judge’ - no one says that when everyone is ‘judging’ a football team, the prime minister, a judge, their boss etc 😏

Original poster
WelcomeToTheAssEatery · 20/03/2020 21:48

@SudokuQueen thank you! It’s the willingness to contract/spread the disease that flabbergasts me!

And I really don’t mean to come across as snooty at all! It’s just my opinion x

OP posts:
whataloadoftoshasusual · 20/03/2020 21:48

I despair- I can’t believe people would send their kids to school when they don’t have to. They are helping SPREAD this virus. Never mind sparing a Thought for the teachers who are putting themselves and their families at risk to look after other people’s children who don’t actually need it.
Utterly appalling

zombieapocalypseisnigh · 20/03/2020 21:50

Yes, they're shit parents and human beings. People like that are endangering MY life needlessly by sending children to school to be watched by people like ME when they shouldn't be there.

TooGood2BeTrue · 20/03/2020 21:52

Am I the only one who finds it weird that there a lots of people on Mumsnet who don't have kids?!

cloudchaos · 20/03/2020 21:53

Are you sure they weren't just joking OP?

lazylinguist · 20/03/2020 21:56

I'm enjoying being at home with my 11yo and 14yo - they are pretty good company! Some people don't want to be at home with their dc because they are shit parents. But some people find it very hard for reasons beyond their control (high needs or problematic dc, parents' mh issues etc). They still shouldn't be trying to take up school places they don't need though.

Merename · 20/03/2020 21:56

When you have kids you will understand! I wouldn’t do this but I can relate to the feelings.

Smartiescake10 · 20/03/2020 21:57

Yabu. I’m a key worker but thankfully have the option to work from home. I’m choosing to do so while I can because I don’t want to put my dc at risk but while half of me can’t wait to spend more time with my toddler the other part of me is dreading it - having to fit around full time working from home while splitting childcare for our toddler with my partner is going to be gruelling. How do you keep very young children entertained when you can’t take them anywhere except for a walk...not even to play at the park...they don’t have the attention span to focus on the iPad or tv for more than about 5 or 10 minutes at a time.
When you’re exhausted from squeezing two full time jobs into one day...when you have to concentrate on calls but your child knows you are in the house and is crying for you?

I don’t think you have any idea what this is going to involve for families like mine where both parents work full time and you sound really judgmental.

For some people it might just be too difficult. There’s no doubt that a lot of people are going to be burned out at the end of this.

SnoozyLou · 20/03/2020 21:58

OP, I used to be the world's greatest parent. Seriously. I won prizes and everything. If being a parent was an Olympic sport, I would have kicked Russia's ass, even with all the steroids.

Until I actually became one.

Ylvamoon · 20/03/2020 21:59

I think it's a combination of having to entertain and educate yor children in the current situation. It's not easy! For example I have an important work meeting via video link nx week ... has been panned 3 weeks ago. I have to do this from home and quite frankly, having the kids around is going to be very unprofessional. Especially in a small semi with open plan downstairs... I can't even ask a friend or family to come and look after them for the 4-5 hours that have been scheduled for this.
So please OP don't be so judgemental- especially as you don't have children.

lazylinguist · 20/03/2020 21:59

Am I the only one who finds it weird that there a lots of people on Mumsnet who don't have kids?!

No you're not the only one - many people have started very annoying threads about that very thing. It's a chat forum, the majority of which is nothing to do with parenting. Any woman of parent age is likely to find a lot of people on here with whom they share much in common.

copycopypaste · 20/03/2020 22:00

You have absolutely no idea what's going on
with them as a family or individuals, eve if you think you know by talking to them, they'll only tell you what they want you you know. It's bloody rude and very narrow minded to be judging them like this.

museumum · 20/03/2020 22:00

I love being with my child. And I love my job.
But trying to do both at once???!!!!!
Fuck me. It’ll be the hardest thing I’ve done.
Although I wouldn’t for a second consider putting my child into childcare taking a key worker place and endangering him / us.

HavelockVetinari · 20/03/2020 22:03

We're talking months on end, 24/7 with your kids, indoors. Can't go anywhere. It's fucking painfully boring and having a pet dog in no way compares to dealing with being trapped with overhyped, understimulated kids in a small room

Oh woe is me! Hmm

If the options are:

  1. Put up with your own kids; or
  1. Send them to nursery/school knowing that you're infecting vulnerable people and increasing the burden on the NHS

I know which option decent people would pick.

DH and I are key workers, but we're not sending DC to childcare - we're doing shifts so that we can keep DC at home and still put in our hours, because it's so important to minimise social contact.

zombieapocalypseisnigh · 20/03/2020 22:03

I'msorry, but fuck the 'for some people it's just too difficult and tiring' attitude.

I'M TIRED. I have 3 kids of my own. And I'm working FT in a primary school during stressful circumstances. Entertaining children who shouldn't be there isn't a reasonable thing to do to me and others like me.

Original poster
WelcomeToTheAssEatery · 20/03/2020 22:05

There are many topics on Mumsnet that don’t involve being a parent - so there are lots of people on here who don’t have kids, and there will continue to be more. Wink

I wasn’t trying to be judgemental. It was just an observation and I’m at an age now where I’m coming to a crossroads of whether to start a family in the next few years. And sorry if it offends anyone but stuff like this does get my mind ticking. If you agree with me, great. If you think I’m being judgemental, oh well. I still stand by what I said.

OP posts:
McCanne · 20/03/2020 22:05

I don’t find it amusing. I’m going to find it very difficult to do my job in a home environment with a preschooler running around. I’d much rather go into the office, I’d be far more productive, and they need me and the team I’m in to be productive. But it’s not an option, it is what it is and I’ll figure it out, but fuck me it’s not funny at all.

NeckPainChairSearch · 20/03/2020 22:06

You don't find it amusing. You want people to join in and tell you that they are shit parents

This. I've taken out the end of the pp quote as you're not a parent.

It makes me wonder what the point of having kids for some people is if they will go to such lengths to avoid spending time with them

The end of your opening post. You don't sound at all 'amused,' just judgemental.

McCanne · 20/03/2020 22:07

@Smartiescake10 very well explained!

june2007 · 20/03/2020 22:08

Maybe they know they won,t get any work done at home.

DrWAnker · 20/03/2020 22:08

Yanbu.
Yes, certain people might have extenuating circumstances but that sounds shite.
And no, your opinion is not worth less because you don't have children - although if you send a box of wine my way I'll be so much more understanding Grin.
We've been at home since Tuesday, it's not ideal but sooooo much better than what might happen. If my kids want to bounce off the walls I'll lock myself in the bathroom and drown out the noise with the shower.

Blackdog19 · 20/03/2020 22:09

Pretending you’re a key worker is an arsehole thing to do.

zombieapocalypseisnigh · 20/03/2020 22:11

I don't care if they won't get any work done ... they are still their children and their responsibility.

My DH knows his working from home won't be as great with our 3 at home, but he also knows he has to suck it up.

Blackdog19 · 20/03/2020 22:12

I am lucky enough to work part time so only need to cover part time hours. I’m worried about having the children off school for such a long period of time. I don’t know how to teach. And I need to work as well. But these are extraordinary times. We all have to do our best. And pretending to need childcare isn’t acceptable. How does that help reduce social contact?