Pregnant and PH called me a "F**king idiot"

[RainMinusBow]

So it's a highly stressful time for both of us. He has just has emergency spinal surgery and has a catheter in situ. I'm 29 weeks' pregnant and have significant health anxiety for years, made worse by all of this going on at the moment.

I work in a large primary school as a 1:1 HLTA and on the advice of my MW and GP have been advised to "work from home" (which I can't really do in my role).

I've called the school office twice and asked if the HT can call me. I've also sent her a detailed email explaining the situation. Have heard nothing as yet.

When I told my OH this he started shouting said I should be calling until I can get through to her and that I was a "f**king idiot". I asked him calmly to stop because mentally I am feeling very poorly again but he carried on. I asked him to stop several times. He has now walked out of the house.

When he returns I will get the usual: "I love you so much but I find you frustrating".

AiBU to think he is being out of order?

If you're pregnant you can self isolate just tell school that's what you are doing.

You need to leave him OP.

Is he still out of the house? If so use this time - call your midwife and tell her what's going on, or at least tell her you need to speak privately when she visits. She can then say she is required to speak to you alone X amount of times during pregnancy and ask him to leave the room for a bit.

Call women's aid - you may be able to go to a refuge. 0808 2000 247.

You hold all the cards here. Give baby your surname and leave him off the birth certificate. Otherwise he can use the baby to abuse you further. If you register baby alone he cannot go on the certificate, he can only be named if he registers the birth with you. This is easier to do if you have left him.

His operation is no excuse for abusive behaviour.

Do you know who this reminds me of

Geoff and Yasmeen in Coronation Street 😔 he does this exact thing to her.

It’s horrible OP

This was my first thought too.

@notapizzaeater From what I understand I can choose not to go in to school but as it's not yet "official advice" I won't be paid.

It's a home visit with my mw as I'd hoped for a home birth.

my 9 months mat leave that is a luxury (shouldn't be but it is). We split leave so the financial burden is on us both and I started to return after 12 weeks. Still breastfeeding her at 6 months.

He's insistent on being named as father on the birth certificate though? isn't he the father? If so he absolutely should be on it. Wouldn't you be insistent on being named as mother?!

*Do you know who this reminds me of

Geoff and Yasmeen in Coronation Street 😔 he does this exact thing to her.

It’s horrible OP*

It reminds me of my parents, my DM was always the one who apologised for everything; I don't remember my abusive F ever saying sorry for anything in my life. He would never admit to being in the wrong. (Although my DSis says he said he was sorry for what he put the two of us through when we were children, the SA.)

He was ill, too, with Parkinson's Disease and had several strokes; it made me feel constantly guilty for him making my skin crawl.

As a result, I've spent my whole life saying sorry for everything, driving other people crazy.

It's so hard to explain to people who have not been conditioned to think they're to blame for everything.