Am I a Drama Queen?

[ExServiceWoman]

I genuinely don't know if I'm being a drama queen or not, but really feel my heart is broken.

My son is 36, I brought him up as a single parent and made many sacrifices to give him a great life. He left university with no debt as I paid all his fees. He has worked hard and has a great job and a great life and I'm incredibly proud of him.

He's not been a bad son, dependent on what girlfriend he has depends what "crumbs" I get, but have never complained and just waited it out for the next girlfriend.

I genuinely know I am blessed, he's healthy, happy and lives just over an hour away. I hear from him at least once a week, and he's currently with a girlfriend who actually "lets" him spend time with me. Even Mother's Day!!

I say this with a slight tongue in cheek as I don't think some women realise how mean they are to their MILs. But whatever, I'm happy and pleased I see him pretty regularly.

We went away this weekend to a family wedding and shared a house that I rented. Now my son is incredibly mean, as was his dad. But don't pick him up on it, he's def been spoiled when he was brought up by me.

Anyway, he was moaning about the noise my car was making so reminded him that I'm single mum to his siblings, who still live at home, and it was a choice of fixing the car or going away this weekend. He understood and very helpfully looked online to see the best price to get it fixed and made me promise that I'd get it done when I got paid.

His gf then said she had the same problem with her car and my son replied saying that would be no problem, was an easy fix and he could do it for about £20.

Honestly I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I was driving at the time and was trying my best not to cry. It really upset me. I'd paid for the whole weekend the food etc and not once had he asked if I wanted anything towards it. And he couldn't be even offer to fix my car.

Would that hurt you too? Or am I just a drama
Llama

Now my son is incredibly mean, as was his dad. But don't pick him up on it, he's def been spoiled when he was brought up by me

You're a drama queen and a martyr - and it sounds like you're strangely proud of that!
You spoilt him instead of instilling values in him - and you still are.
Why are you paying for him and his gf to stay at this rented accommodation and providing all their food and drinks?
The sensible thing would be to make them pay their share of accommodation costs and either buy their own food/drink or pay you a percentage of the total costs?

The fact that he doesn't even THINK to offer to contribute is appalling!

I hope you're doing better when it comes to raising the remainder of your kids?

Op you are making mistakes here. Do not blame the DIL
I am a mother of sons and daughters. The daughters are closer as if often the case. The sons not so attentive and that is also often the case. In many families the wives chivvy their husbands to remember mothers birthday etc, also very usual. If you think your son is lacking it is his responsibility and his alone. Thise who have lovely DIL who keep the wheels oiled are lucky, but they dont have to do it. Sometimes the men will let them as they are lazy. Maybe the women should let them forget sometimes and then they might shake up. We all will let out partners take on a responsibility if we can, whether its household jobs, finances, DIY etc or being thoughtful to mothers

If your son was merely thoughtless he wouldn't have offered to fix his gf's car for her would he? Seems to me he doesn't hold you in very high regard OP. And you silently stewing instead of pulling him up on his meanness towards you tells me that you may not be as close as you like to think you are.

Has something happened op that makes you think your son is bullied by his partners and doesn’t see you because he goes with a succession of women who won’t let him?

You say he’s happy but write that he’s effectively controlled and abused and not even allowed to see his own mother when he wishes to. It’s their decision not his.

Has some event taken place to make you think this, or does he tell you this?

I know if I thought for one moment my daughter was going with men who wouldn’t let her see me when she wished I’d be writing a very different thread than you have and I’d be desperately worried about her welfare.