No one came to my daughters 1st bday

[Jbm2019]

So it was my daughters 1st bday on Friday. I went out for a nice meal with my family and my baby girl. Good times. Anyways, on the Saturday I had planned for a few “friends” to come round with their kids for a little meal and some cake. Literally no one turned up. My daughter didn’t get any presents or cards from these ppl. I had my daughter dressed up in a pretty dress and felt like such a bad mum. I’m heartbroken for her even though I know she doesn’t understand but I wanted to have some cute pictures or something for her to look back on when she’s older. One of them said she’d come the next day and she didn’t but ended up going out with her other friends. I’m literally devastated as I never thought ppl would do this. I feel like cutting these people off as the friendship feels very one sided from my end. Anyways am I overreacting...?

Did they stay away cos of vor

Had you made very specific arrangements? Or was it more casual?

Did they stay away cos of coronavirus or just cos they weren't interested?

Did they confirm that they were coming?

So sorry x but you sound like a wonderful mum. Ppl can be so shit. It's not a reflection on you at all. Remember that.
Also bear in mind it's all v weird at the moment with corona.

They're not your friends.

I drop people who did this. Just not turning up is contemptible

I’m so sorry for you though, your daughter won’t remember but I can totally understand your upset

A) were there specific plans and proper invitations or just informal?
B) had they let you know they weren’t coming or did they just not show up?

These will affect whether these people were just unable to come, assumed it wasn’t a big deal or are rude/not friends.

But generally speaking please don’t let it get to you, you daughter has no idea id was her birthday and even if she did birthdays are meaningless to them at that age. She wouldn’t have remembered anything anyway so don’t worry. Most people don’t bother with a party for ones year olds beyond celebrating with family, she’s not going to miss photos of an event she wouldn’t even have known was happening.

That's awful of them. How utterly rude and hurtful. Ditch them and move on. Very rude. Xxxxx

The party was for you.wasnt it? First birthday parties are for the parents.
So yeh you can be upset.
But these are strange times.
Your baby wont care.

she's one, she won't even remember, let alone accuse you of being a mean Mother.
It was rude, if they'd been invited, they should have confirmed, or let you know od changed plans because of Covid - but would you be happier if everyone had turned up en masse and given you or your daughter Covid?

Did they get in touch to cancel or were they just no shows? Have you been in contact since to ask what happened and why they didn’t show? If I’d have invited people round and they didn’t show, I’d text or ring to see where they’d got to and if they were still coming.

It’s shit. And sad. If it was because of corona

• fine. But they should have let you know and explained. I cannot believe every single one can blame that though and ofc there is the matter of the friend who went out with others. If they don’t have a valid excuse then I would seriously reconsider the relationship.

Your daughter won’t know or remember but that doesn’t make it less hurtful. Focus on the lovely day you had with family. These others aren’t worth it. You’ll meet more people as your little one grows and you’ll find true friends.

X

DS (7) has been invited to 2 birthday parties in the next few weeks. We're thinking about declining the invites (DS has asthma and viral infections are a bad trigger for him) but really feel for the DC whose parties will be ruined if everyone does this. Things aren't normal at the moment.

I would not do this to my friends, if I was not going to attend an event to celebrate something important to my friend then they would know in advance and understand my reason.

I am sorry that your friends treated you poorly, it is important to you to celebrate with your friends, totally get it. Am hoping it is just due to covid, therefore I would suggest reaching out, letting them know you are sad that they missed it but understand the concerns due to covid and that you will do a picnic when the weather is better.

Your daughter won’t know anything about it. This is all about you. Perhaps your ‘friends’ knew it was all about you. And cards and presents. And social media pictures. And a tantrum from you because they didn’t play properly

Well aren’t you a delight. She’s not having a tantrum, she’s upset because she tried to mark a special occasion with some friends and they ditched her. OP is entitled to be upset!

Well yes, parties do tend to focus on the host.

Weary, you're not one of these 'friends' are you?

OP just put this behind you. Sometimes the best course of action is too take no action. I understand how you feel still x

I think you need better friends. Did you take some nice pictures of your dd anyway with the cake and maybe some selfies together?

It’s really bad form not to let you know. Unless it was a causal “pop over on Saturday if you’re free” thing?

I wouldn’t go to a gathering at the moment, tbh.

It isn't really normal circumstances in the world at the moment, it is to be expected. I had DS party booked for Friday many said they'd vulnerable family at home and couldn't come.
The hall cancelled anyway. People really need to take the advice of social distancing serious including DC parties. At least you had a meal on Friday out with family to celebrate. Did they bring presents then.

I'm so sorry and yes you should ditch them, as it seems no one bothered to even let you know. It happens to the best of us - honestly. Find better friends who will care about you as much as you do them

To all of you saying it might be because of the Coronavirus, that's no excuse for not calling or texting. You know you can't catch it that way right?

Sorry that people are so shit OP

They should have told you and this would be enough for me to drop friendships.