Three under five...am I mad?!

[helloskinnylove]

I have 2DSs, one almost 3, the other almost 1. I'm almost 37. I've always seen us having 3 kids and am really tempted to try for another. I feel under pressure timing wise because of my age, so am tempted to try sooner rather than later (although if I was younger I would probably wait another year or two).

So...has anyone done 3 under 5? Or even 3 under 4?!! How was it? I have a fairly responsible city job that I would like to keep (4 days a week), but we also have a nanny which helps a lot. I am scared that if I leave it much longer I'll have difficulty conceiving, but equally scared we won't be able to cope with 3 (although so far 2 hasn't been too bad!)

I had three under four, with an older one who was six.

I managed to live to tell the tale and they're all grown up now and seem quite sensible.

You do do a LOT of washing though.

i had 6 under 10, not twins and it was bloody hard work at times, no nanny though.

Me and I found 2 to 3 kids the hardest step when they were all under 5. I wish I'd waited until eldest was at least in school until I had the third. 3 year plus age gap just seems easier when I compare with other people

I’m 6 weeks into 3 under 5. It’s not as bad as I imagined it could be but it is absolutely relentless. I don’t have a minute in my day when I’m not doing something for one child or other (or all three at the same time). But it’s still doable, I’m just learning to accept that my time isn’t my own and won’t be for quite some time.

I don’t regret it at all, though if I had a nanny, I think it would be much easier as I could at least get on top of the to-do list or actually grab half an hour for myself.

At work four days a week and a nanny?! You'll be fine!! Crack on

I think it's a bit much to ask a nanny to look after 3 kids under 4

A friend had 3 under 1.5!!! Years of infertility, lost a tube, failed IVF. Fell naturally, then with a 3mth old, found out she was expecting twins! They managed, but with help from family.

One thing they didnt consider was on flights, you are only allowed a max of 1 baby per adult (only so many oxygen masks per seat). They had to take her mother abroad to hold a baby and sit in another row until they were older. Lots of hand-me-downs is another plus I guess.

I had 3 under 4 and then 4 under 6... it was fine! There’s probably a period of time that I don’t have significant concrete memories of, I must have been head down getting on with life, but they are really close now, play well together, like the same things etc.

Not sure how I’d have coped with a busy job as well (was SAHM for a while) though haven’t been for a few years now. But maybe your nanny is amazing and unlikely to leave you?

I had three under five. It was fun but hard work. Going from 2 to 3 is a bigger jump than you'd expect, but I loved having them close in age.
All adult now and are very close still.
The big expenses add up when they are older... 2 in uni, 3 to help get started etc. More so than when they were small.
We had plenty of family help with them which helped a lot.

Thanks guys, it's really reassuring to hear encouraging stories! Some of your replies made me smile!! Especially those of you who have more than 3, I really take my hat off to you!

I'm surrounded by people who have 1,2 or no kids, so 3 seems like a lot, but I think I'll always wish I had if I don't try. Our nanny is very good and DC1 will be in school and DC2 almost in morning nursery before any potential DC3 turned up.

I think my work would be annoyed. But I guess it is what it is and you need to decide what your priorities are.

@fivefourthree agree finances are also something to think about, esp the big things like university fees. It's why I really want to keep working as I don't want it to be all on DH. So I probably need to be in for a few hard years balancing work and home - but then I already have that with 2, how much worse can it be?!!!

I had three under four. It was hard work, but doable. And I've never regretted it, they are great friends and have a lot of fun together.

It’s much much easier now mine are 7, 5 and 3. But it would have also been much easier if I had had a nanny so you will be grand

Go for four! Much easier than three imho

Do bear in mind that it doesn’t necessarily get easier when they are older, just different. When they are tiny it’s hard, but all relatively within your control in terms of setting the agenda. If you have 3 very close in age, they will all be at the stage of having lots of classmates’ parties and activities at the weekend at once. I have 2 little ones and one a bit older- weekends are a total blur of swimming classes, parties, football and homework. 3 sets of school admin, plays, assemblies etc that you are trying to juggle around work. A lot of the time DH and I are ships that pass in the night as we try to deal with the logistics of 3 kids alongside our careers.

I had 3 under 4 and my lasting memory is all the school runs.They where all off at different times.It felt never ending.

But you do get the baby stage out of the way in one fell swoop.I would just go for it.

My twins were almost three when DS3 was born.

It was really really hard, better now they’re much earlier!

Older not earlier

I think you should work out why you want a third child. You have two children. So you already have a family. It’s not like there is a gaping hole in your life that you need a 3rd baby to fill (and if there was that’s concerning tbh). What is it that having a 3rd will bring to your family that the existing two won’t?

I had three under five for a while at same age as you. First six months were really hard, I started playing Mozart at bathtime just to stop myself losing it! It's fine though, you get used to it and my 4.5 ye old was actually quite useful when the baby came home. Brought nappies, fed her, was so cute.

Three under three here but years ago and no job for me. Survived.

As sometime who had 1 and felt done I think YABU :p but each family is different.

@JuanSheetIsPlenty does it have to be rational though? I'll never stop wanting more kids, I've no idea why, but three is as many as we can afford. Why's it concerning to feel there's a gap? Most people who grew up as a three will feel like it's their number.

When my youngest was born, ds was 4 years old. It was hard work having 3 so close together, esp dd2 has asd, only recently dx. They are now 15, 13 and 11. Lots of washing, bigger car. Lots of noise, fun and laughter too.

OP just one more thing, don't underestimate the difference it will make to your work. I thought I could manage as had a nanny but my whole outlook on life changed and I didn't care at all about my career any more, having been a high earner. Started to feel a bit stupid seeing them so little and questioned why I was outsourcing the most important thing in my life. Can't explain why that would've been much more of a thing with three, might be different for you.