Was this joke unreasonable?

[ToomorrowToomorrow]

Boyfriend loves his night out which is fine, but every other week he complains on the Sunday about how his body is aching and he feels rubbish and alochol is making his body feel awful and ill, so he's never drinking again (i know everyone says this),
So last week was the same story, i was staying at his house on the sunday (we dont live together, still live with parents, im 25 but ive just finished uni and started a job so cant afford to move out right now), and he was hungover, complaining abiut the same thing, and that he's never drinking again. So i said he's like the boy who cried wolf and he'll probably be out next weekend.
Anyway next weekend has come and he's going out so he rang me last night to tell me. I joked that I knew it, he is literally the boy who cried wolf and I guess i'll be listening to it all over again on sunday so here we go again and then we said our goodbyes and i hung up.
He then messaged saying he feels really upset because he thinks i feel he's an alcoholic (i rarely go out but i dont mind that he enjoys it, each to their own), and that he only wants to go out incase the pubs close soon because of the virus.
I rang him back and apologised saying i didnt mean to upset him and i wont joke about it again, but i feel rubbish now, i hate upsetting him

You didn't call him an alcoholic, you said that he would get drunk and complain the following weekend which he then did.

Don't get into a dynamic where you feel you have to apologise for things like this.

Perhaps he is worried himself and it touched a nerve? Either way, he sounds like he needs to grow up a bit

There was no need for him to get upset about what you said.

Coupled with:
"I hate upsetting him"

Do you all on eggshells much?
Bit of an alarm bell.. ringing quietly in the distance..

He's a dick, can't believe you apologised for what was a totally inoffensive comment.

*walk on eggshells

I don't think I walk on eggshells, never really noticed, maybe subconsciously?
Forgot to.mention he also mentioned that he's going out incase the pubs shut because of the virus so one last night and I said "so if the pubs arent shut next weekend, will that then be "your last night out" and i didnt mean to come across bitchy, i was genuinenly joking

What is the benefit of this relationship for you?

This thread is worrying. The fact that he got upset over something so petty, the fact you feel you needed to apologise, the fact that you "hate upsetting him", the fact he's using if they close soon as an excuse.

How new is this relationship?

Aw bless him, poor little sensitive petal.

So you've got to listen to him week after week, moaning about how bad he feels but as soon as you make a jokey comment about the fact that he does that, you're being unkind and upsetting him.

God he sounds like hard work.

Is this what you want for your future?

Fuck, if he's upset by that he would be in a permanent state of depression if he lived with me.

Don't even know what the issue is here!

I dont know the issue either so i thought maybe mumsnet could let me know why it wouldve upset him we've been together just over a year and he's always loved his night outs but every.single time he moans that alcohol is having really nad effects on his body and every single time i give him advice and comfort but if he's going to keep drinking then complaining when it's self-inflicted then it's getting a bit tedious

I rang him back as soon as he sent the message and basically said i'm really.sorry if that upset you but I was only joking and it was obvious i was joking as I laughed,
And he just said that it made him feel rubbish as his body does really ache and he's told his friends that this is the last time and can they stop pressurising him to go out from next week. And that he spoke to his friend and they both agreed that it's best for one last night out; he then said that he gets why i'm getting annoyed but he wont be out next weekend

Sorry if im repeating myself but it felt like things were repeated a lot last night

He sounds like a dick.

It's his friends responsibility not to put pressure on him.

You're there to soothe and give advice when he's in the throws of a hangover.

He gets upset when you come back with anything other than mopping his aching brow

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Get out now. Imagine having kids with him. He'll need handholding through every bloody step. Utter manchild.

Well doesn’t he sound manipulative...

You’ve apologised for doing something you didn’t do.

Meh. He's a twat. A self pitying twat, at that.

If he feels shit after going on the lash, he needs to not get so bladdered in the first place. So he doesn't deserve sympathy or apologies.

and he probably does have an alcohol problem at least developing

Move on, nothing worth seeing here, wait until you meet a grown up, rather than somebody who does stupid things and then wails that you're mean for expecting him to take responsibility because Some Big Boys made him do it.

So he blames his friends for “bullying” him into going out and then you for not being sympathetic about his hangovers... does he ever own any decision he makes? If you think it’s tedious now, imagine how bad it would be if you lived with him. Get rid before you find out.

Thanks for your comments everyone, it's made me feel so much better knowing that I wasnt being naive about what i said wrong, I was really confused last night,
Havent spoken since after the call or today so far and i havent messaged,
I know he's going to feel rubbish tomorrow so i'll just tell him i cant have sympathy

I tell him that all the time - that there's not need to get absolutely blackout drunk.
He went out last week, said he's just have the 1 or 2 as we were spending sunday together,
He ended up waking up at 12pm on the Sunday so i spent the day with my niece as i wasnt waiting around for him,
Went to his for 6 and he was just so tired and showing me where was aching and couldnt remeber what time he got home,
He cant have "1 or 2", he always (not exaggorating) gets.so drunk to the point he cant remmeber a thing and it will be the same.tonight

Sounds like a real gem. I would start looking for a bf who doesn't get bladdered ever w/e, not knowing when to stop drinking.
Would prefer to do something with me.
Would keep his moaning to himself after a self inflicted bender every w/e.
This, if you continue in this rship is what your life will be like

I think the correct response to his “I’m upset” message would have been something like “lol, whatever.”

On hindsight i shouldnt have apologised, but I'm a natural pleaser (i suppose ) so my first response was to apologise

So you apologised to him for speaking the truth? Well he’s got you where he wants you hasn’t he! You’re already ringing him to apologise that he will have a hangover later!

Sorry but I couldn’t be bothered to date someone so immature that they get pissed every Saturday, suffer every Sunday, swear they’ll never drink again, repeat it the next week then make you out to be the bad one in all of this!

What is it that attracts you to this waste of space? Honestly, move on.

"we've been together just over a year"

It sounds.. and this is a massive over reaction really.. but it sounds like he's already 'Training' you.
He wants you in a place where you believe everything he does will always be someone else's fault. Him being upset is your fault, it's you that should make amends and apologise. Etc.
I say this as a random person looking in. But, time to assess things and really think hard about the dynamics here..

Dump him before you move in together and he ruins all your weekends.