Why is he such an idiot for? Raging here.

[NameChangeCactus]

I am currently fuming and disgusted with my drunken boyfriend, who has woken up after a night out with his younger brother barging through the front door at 3am waking me up even though I told him to be quiet when he came home last night before he went. He has just informed me that he has agreed to borrow his brother a very large amount of money in order to set up a new place for him and his girlfriend who he has known for approximately six months. Does anyone else think this is completely stupid and unreasonable and utter stupidity on my bfs behalf?

I told my bf he’s not going to pay for that and he said he can do what he wants to help his brother and now we are not speaking, he has tried to talk to me but I can’t talk at the moment without arguing so I am staying silent and ignoring him. His brother is always borrowing money from us, always asking my bf to “sort me out” some money, and my bf just nods and says yes EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. AND PAYS HIM WHAT HE WANTS (or should that be, what his brother demands??) Do you think it’s inappropriate and wrong for my bf to keep spending our funds on his brother (who is currently unemployed and not got a job, btw! Perfectly happy to scrounge and take money from us however! He is searching for jobs but STILL hasn’t managed to actually find one)

Do you think IABU? Or do you think my bf should growna pair and tell his brother NO and to stand on his own two feet and stop acting like a child all the time?

I would advise you to stick to reality and facts, In future

The facts are that those actions are controlling and bullying. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah you're abusive, controlling and unreasonable.

You don't share finances. You have absolutely no right to tell your boyfriend what to do with his money.

His brother clearly can't afford to match the value of the gifts your boyfriend gives.

Your boyfriend is giving him the gifts generously and willingly. What do you want his brother to do, refuse them? Your boyfriend sounds kind and wouldn't want him to do that.

This isn't your decision. You don't get to control other people's decision when you just don't like them.

Your boyfriend is kind and generous. On this thread alone you've called him stupid and unreasonable and said he acts like a child. Personally I think that's nastier than accepting gifts given with love.

Your boyfriend makes decisions you don't agree with. Rather than speaking about that in an abusive way, either accept they are his decisions to make or leave him.

Why do you feel you have the right to control his financial decisions? Is it because you think he should be spending that money on you?

Like I said, your boyfriend is making the decision to buy the presents and sounds like he wouldn't want his brother to refuse them.

Why are you such an angry person?

To be clear that post was to @BritneyPeedOnALadybug / @NameChangeCactus

It comes to a point in your life where you need to put your foot down and tell him it's you or the sponge, be prepared though he may not choose you but atleast you will be free from this . I had years of it and got to the point I didn't want to be with my husband I hated him I was angry all the time because similar situation, what I mean by him choosing is making big decisions together, not giving in to brother and sticking together and not letting Sponger come between you, he chose me, they still speak but we make big decisions as a couple. His brother knows where he stands

This is just frustrating. I didn’t deny doing any of those things. You are accusing me of denying making those Posts when I didn’t even mention them or bring them up in the first place.

I'm not accusing you. I am responding to one of your earlier posts where you took umbrage against me pointing out that there is a massive backstory, which you have conveniently omitted from this particular thread. Said backstory casts quite a different light on your actions.

I would advise you to stick to reality and facts, In future

That's exactly what I did. But by all means do carry on whinging and whining that you are hard done by and misunderstood. In fact you appear to be a controlling bully who is determined to isolate your boyfriend from his family and in particular his brother.

Absolutely fuck all to do with you