To feel sad about manager's remark

[m4rdybum]

I am a PA, supporting a managing director of a company.

I had a phased return from maternity leave in October then went back up to full time after Christmas. I am also part of an administration team that supports top level managers of the company.

On maternity leave, my job was covered by another member of the team. I've been told by colleagues and my manager that the cover was adequate but that there were a lot of mistakes.

Upon coming back, I'm having issues getting my full workload back from the covering colleague (I get it- I've been out the job for 10 months) and my manager is making matters more complicated by still splitting the workload between us.

I have since found out that my manager has told one of the senior managers that she's "scared of me going off on maternity leave again" and so doesnt want to rely on me too much now I'm back (even though it's my job).

I'm upset by this and think that now, everyone sees me only as a mother (who is bound to have more kids ) and not as a colleague/professional at work.

Am I just over-reacting? (I'm so much more sensitive since returning to work, so probably am!!)

That’s sex discrimination.

I would ask, in writing, for the immediate return of your full job responsibilities, expressing your capacity to fulfil them, also concern that this has taken so long, and refresh your objectives etc.

Legally, she isn’t allowed to do that.

Don’t be sad, be outraged.

I would ask, in writing, for the immediate return of your full job responsibilities, expressing your capacity to fulfil them, also concern that this has taken so long, and refresh your objectives etc.

Sorry I forgot to add that, about a month before I left on maternity, we assimilated into said administration support group with the idea that (eventually) all members of the team will support everyone. Which makes it a little more complicated.

But nothing is official even now (no new job descriptions, no job evaluation etc.)

So it makes it harder getting the workload back in a sense. So I'm not too upset over that, as there's some justification there.

But is is more the comment from my manager which makes it seem like I am now incompetent due to the possibility I could pop another sprog at any time.

I was, and still am, very good at my job.

Are you in a union? Get as much in writing as possible. Demand your role back. Stop being understanding! Be angry!

Add this all up. Could they be getting ready to make you’re role redundant?

YOUR not you’re.

If the team has changed it might not be YOUR role any more as such

Ask in writing for a team and job description and objectives and express concern.

Presumably you don’t have evidence of what your manager said, but you DO presumably have evidence of work being unclear/removed, so it’s important to set up an “audit trail”.

How was the comment made and how did you hear about it? It would be great if you have proof as it is sex discrimination.

If the team has changed it might not be YOUR role any more as such

I agree, which makes me think I'm just overreacting.

How was the comment made and how did you hear about it? It would be great if you have proof as it is sex discrimination.

I was told by the senior manager what was said. No proof and doubt they would offer themselves up as witness if I took it further.

You aren't over reacting. This is standard for so many women (including myself) the wonderful world of work.
It's disgusting but there isnt the regulation in place to protect your job. Your manager can hide behind things such as jobs changing over time, new structures etc.. it's all BS

Women do do this though and they leave employers and colleagues in the lurch. A lady in our team has made maternity leave her new ‘career’.

If you’re still being paid the same money, but someone is doing a percentage of the work. Why do you care?

I agree, which makes me think I'm just overreacting

You aren't overreacting because if your role has changed, the company and your manager owe you an explanation of the change and the impact on your role.

Having said that, unless you feel that another role of similar nature will be extremely difficult to come by and/or you are likely to get a lot of compensation for the hassle in this role, I would say that involving HR and all that sort of stuff is more pain than it's worth and you really may be better off just looking for another job. Yes, I know it's not ideal and not nice to be put in this position but, pragmatically, even if all the law is on your side and hypothetically you won your end of the argument, the environment will become untenable anyway and you will not feel like working there in the end.

If you’re still being paid the same money, but someone is doing a percentage of the work. Why do you care?

Because I enjoy my job and want to progress.

Women do do this though and they leave employers and colleagues in the lurch. A lady in our team has made maternity leave her new ‘career’.

Not that I need to justify myself, but I have absolutely no plans of having another (due to a number of reason, with this reaction being the cherry on the top).

@DingleberryRose what a load of shit. How can you say women (implying all women) do this because of 1 woman in your team.

In a team providing a shared service, with several people doing similar roles, people should still have clear roles and work should be divided up fairly.

Your concern is that you’re assigned less/lower quality/profile work than colleagues.

It’s not just the woman in my team I’ve seen plenty examples of this. I think it’s a huge reason as to why employers are reluctant to hire women for certain positions. They assume (and often rightly) that it’s a matter of time before their employee is off on maternity for a year (and then another and another).

It annoys me that employers can no longer legally ask women ‘what our plans are’ in this respect because I always delighted in telling them I have no intentions of having children which I feel has helped me progress miles above where I would be otherwise.

@dingleberryrose me too

These views are not uncommon, and illustrate the discrimination women face.

How is anyone supposed to have a family. It really upsets me the discrimination women face because of maternity leave. Realistically not many families have 7 kids. It's likely 2 or 3 years out of their whole career. How ridiculous that they are cast aside because of that. Men can't have babies!!!! I'm so glad shared parental leave is now a thing. I hope lots of people utilise it.

Of course ML is every woman's right, as it should be, and no woman should be treated differently or discriminated against for having taken it; but I agree with dingle's pov inasmuch as you can't blame employers for being concerned about how to manage their team's workload in the meantime, and for acknowledging that female employees potentially taking ML is something that they cannot predict or specifically plan ahead for, long-term.

In the same way, you have every legal and moral right to take time off sick if you're genuinely ill, but whilst your boss cannot begrudge this or treat you differently because of it, nobody can deny that it's an inconvenience for your boss and will likely create more work and necessitate changing plans, deviating from the ideal scenario. The only difference is that sick leave tends to be a matter of days or possibly weeks, whereas ML can be up to a year.