Looking after your own children IS work

[Bumpitybumper]

Oxford Dictionary definition of "work":
activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result

AIBU to suggest that the people that suggest that looking after one's own children isn't work are wrong and in some cases are actively trying to devalue and undermine the people (usually women) that do the majority of childcare?

Would be really interested to understand how anyone can read this definition and argue that looking after children isn't work.

No one is saying running a home doesn’t take time

But majority of working parent/s seem to manage to do what many sahp do also it is manageable or has to be manageable

She cooked every meal I had from scratch pretty much and this was not any oven meals either.
And ...
Welcome to what many of us do daily, bebit SAHP or WOHP.

What I am trying to do is to suggest that we need to support ALL women by critiquing and resisting the economic system we live, rather than assigning an economic value on our role and kids, in order to win some kind of respect
I agree. Accept both staying home and working have their pros and cons, highs and challenges, so there is no need to be getting into how doing your own chores is essentially a job (which is often how people speak about it by trying to equate it to going to work).

@EnthusiasmIsDisturbed yes and usually these tasks she did during the day would get done on the weekend, evenings or be done as a family. She decided she would rather fill our activities doing other things be it that I only had to focus on my school and extra lessons,or going to muesums and walks in the park rather then doing chores. It was her choice and a similar choice I will make

I find going to work much easier than being a sahm. Paid employment is a fucking breeze

Depends very much on the paid employment (and your own dc), of course. For me, looking after my own (two well-behaved, easy) dc vs not only dealing with groups of 30 other people's (often not that well-behaved) dc but trying to actually teach them stuff and being judged on their performance - no contest whatsoever. In fact sometimes 12 hours of being a SAHM felt a lot easier than 12 minutes of being at work.

Yes and all that gets done by working parents too

It’s called multitasking

@EnthusiasmIsDisturbed my mum chose to not want to multitask that was her choice. She wanted to fully focus on me once I was home etc.

If you have a proper job there's no contest: working is far harder than looking after children.

In fact, I find doing the mundane stuff like cleaning, cooking, school runs etc therapeutic.

I am just saying running a house takes time. Especially if you don't cut corners or outsource at least some of the work.

Of course it does.

And that’s work WOHP have to fit around their regular jobs. Plenty of them don’t ‘cut corners’ either.

X post

So she never did anything else but give you her full attention when you were home even when you were what 8 and should be doing homework independently

But the supporting with homework/playing games/trips to cinema/museums/parks is all done

@EnthusiasmIsDisturbed She did my homework with me sat next to me. She had to infact when I was 8 as the school was in English and I was just learning it (my mother tounge languages are German and chinese). But even once I was fluent in English a year later thanks to the extra work, drilling and constant lessons from my mum she made a point to do my homework together etc.

God these threads just go on and on and on and on....

“My work is a breeze compared to a day with my kids”....,, “Noooo! Children are not real work”..... “Blah blah blah bollocks.,,,”

Some people even feel the need to list all their daily tasks, hour by hour, while others seem to think they can freeze time and “do it all” in the evenings Just stop please!

We all have different jobs, different kids, different motivations, different husbands and different circumstances.

What even is a WOHM anyway? Someone who sits in an empty shop or office, bored stiff? Or someone in a war zone?

What even is a SAHM? A mum at home with no support and disabled or SEN or 6 children or something? Or a mum with one or two “easy” children and lots of family and friend support?

People don’t seem capable of thinking beyond the box of their own circumstances?

So much bitterness and defensiveness.,,

This thread is making a mockery of women.

Women really don’t support each other on this site. No wonder men are still in charge even though we’re just as intelligent & as capable as them

I can't speak for all women, but I certainly don't just support any woman blindly because they have a vagina. Especially when they are being ridiculous, judgemental, nasty or just a twat.

I don't care whether you work or stay at home. Unless you are my employee then you are not going to impact on my life. I don't know about other people, but I rarely think about whether what I do for a living is valuable to society. I chose my career for me - it looked fun to do, meant I could hang out at sports grounds and see lots of sporting events and it paid an ok salary. Do I need to feel valued by society? No, not really. My family value me, that's enough.

She cooked every meal I had from scratch pretty much and this was not any oven meals either.

Whereas I, as a working parent, feed my family only happy meals.

@Olliephaunt4eyes there might be some that do. I don't mean all working parents do.

Well understandably you needed extra support with homework

But children do need 100% of their parents attention as there is always other things to do even if it takes a few minutes

I think what you are remembering and what actually happens when you parent is not quite he same

Oh no, not the competitive “cooking from scratch” debate..,

Who actually cares who cooks what!

Not need ... was meant to type

there might be some that do. I don't mean all working parents do.
Newsflash, some stay at home parents night use oven food and happy meals too.

Oh no, not the competitive “cooking from scratch” debate..,
Who actually cares who cooks what!
Me! I care. I personally selected the chickens to breed, hand reared then chicks, and say daily affirmations to the hens so my eggs are filled with sunshine and positivity.
Everything I eat is personally grown by me from premium seeds or by suitable artisan speciality agriculturalists. I get full consent from the carrots before picking them and then lovingly curate each ingredient into a work of culinary art. Every day I do this as a sign of love and devotion to my family.

Do I win?

@EnthusiasmIsDisturbed maybe that is true. I am lucky that I am in a postion where I can stay at home with any kids I have to make sure I can do all the extra out of school hour lessons my mum did with me and supervise the homework as intensely as she did etc. I think in general it is a privilege to have a choice. It is a privilege to choose to work out of the home just as much as it is a privilege to choose to stay at home. I do feel bad for cases where it is not a choice but a case that the family can't cope on one income or that the child care cost is too high to go to work etc

Who actually cares who cooks what!

Personally I don’t know. But if posters are going to start implying that scratch cooking is the preserve of the SAHM then people will refute that.

what else should we add to the list of what adults do when running a home with children
Quality control
H&S analysts and control
Stock control
Entertainment and events management
Nursing
Therapist
Mediator
Mentor

You mean all the things working mothers do too but somehow manage to fit in the few morning and evening hours, after they've already done all this in their job?

I do understand the need to feel a sense of importance that means that sahm can consider themselves as worthy as those working, but they only convince themselves that it is as intense and hard. Why not just be grateful to have it easier and leave it at that?

Sorry should I have said ‘I don’t care’

@LolaSmiles the comment was in response to someone saying what my mum did would not have taken her the entire time I was in school. I was just pointing out why it did take her longer

I think in general it is a privilege to have a choice
This is really the best conclusion to draw from this thread and similar. Some mothers work by choice and are happy with their decision. Most work because they have to and would much prefer to be at home with their kids. To then have to listen to those who do get that privilege trying to make a point that they work as hard as they do is just another torn in the flesh.