Looking after your own children IS work

[Bumpitybumper]

Oxford Dictionary definition of "work":
activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result

AIBU to suggest that the people that suggest that looking after one's own children isn't work are wrong and in some cases are actively trying to devalue and undermine the people (usually women) that do the majority of childcare?

Would be really interested to understand how anyone can read this definition and argue that looking after children isn't work.

I don’t see how anyone can say it isn’t work. Housework is work too. It’s often gruelling work and when they have big problems and health issues emotionally draining work. Unpaid labour is work. It’s not employment if they are your own children. It certainly isn’t equivalent to simple tasks like buying a bus ticket.

I spend time with my daughter to have a lovely break from work. Looking after her is not ‘work’ from my point of view. Looking after someone else’s children feels like work, but not my own.

If it’s not men on here but actual mothers of children claiming looking after them is but work then this reinforces how backwards the UK is. Feminism has a long way to go here.

Oops I meant to say who think looking after them is not work.

As the comedian Bill somethings says 'any job you can do in your dressing gown isn't work'.
So true.

@bemusedmoose You wouldn’t be paid an hourly rate for being a gardener, chef, accountant, taxi driver etc. because you’re not actually trained in and working in these roles. I have no children and I do many of those things as well as FT work - who should pay me for doing this?

'I spend time with my daughter to have a lovely break from work'

I think looking after your own children is lovely especially when it is a break from work and you have variety in your week. I think being a fulltime SAHM is relentless. I know when I haven't seen my DC much I will miss them and a day with them is lovely
However when I have them 24/7 and struggle to entertain them all week every day it is draining to say the least. They are not in nursery or school yet.

The word 'work' is open to interpretation. If you interchange that with employment or a job then being a SAHP is not work.

I certainly don't see parenting my dc as work. Both dh and I have jobs (work) , me flexibly so although dc in school is dropped off and picked at school so no additional care needed. I would never say 'I'm working this weekend' meaning I'm looking after dc. Otherwise I'd be working 7 days a week, which I am not!

That's not to say that the role of being a parent Is not tiring, relentless etc but it is not work! I look forward to picking dc up from school and spending weekends/ holidays with them because it is not work.

It's damn hard work!! 24/7 zero wage house keeper, chef, gardener, laundrette, taxi, PA, whip cracker, personal hygiene consultant, accountant, homework checker, alarm clock, first aider.... If we were paid an hourly rate for all that we do we would be seriously minted!!

And finally - "the list"

“As the comedian Bill somethings says 'any job you can do in your dressing gown isn't work'.
So true.”

That’s DH rumbled then when he’s working from home in his underwear, DOSSER!!! I knew it!

What about when they’re doing ”business” in ski suits? Or cycling gear? Hmmm..,,

I’ll be sure to tell him he’s only working if he’s in a suit and in an actual, proper office establishment. Thanks!

employment
1.the state of having paid work

Still think we should use employed

Why dont we though? Just about everyone says I’m off to work..not, I’m off to my place of employment

Let’s face it, none of us are exactly down a mine.

What about when they’re doing ”business” in ski suits? Or cycling gear? Hmmm

They’re not dressing gowns in fairness.

If you’re doing ‘business’ in a dressing gown, expect some eyebrows raised at an absolute minimum.

He’s done business in far less than a dressing gown.

oooom

Dh does it in pjs on occasion

Hugh heffner did it in a dressing gown all the time

"It's damn hard work!! 24/7 zero wage house keeper, chef, gardener, laundrette, taxi, PA, whip cracker, personal hygiene consultant, accountant, homework checker, alarm clock, first aider.... If we were paid an hourly rate for all that we do we would be seriously minted!!"
And parents who work full time, do this on top of work.

And parents who work full time, do this on top of work

And parents who are employed full time due this on top of employment

Ive cracked it...lets all go home

@Bumpitybumper

Well I can tell you my experience that working full time, 40 hours per week in a busy office and having two children is harder than working part time which is harder than being a SAHP. I have done all three at various times and believe me, working full is the hardest and most demanding.

Yes it is work and I undervalued. Nursery staff are working caring for children and get paid. Mothers do it unpaid and are looked down on for it. Because money rules out society.

No. Because they created those little burdens. They're nobody else's problem and looking after them doesn't benefit anyone but the parents.

No. Because they created those little burdens. They're nobody else's problem and looking after them doesn't benefit anyone but the parents

Actually when they grow into adults then they'll benefit society. Future doctors, nurses, carers, and so on. Or won't you be needing any of those things?

Haha so mainly working parent produce working children.
Secondly what if those children go on to be unemployed? Then there's 2 generations taking and not giving to society.

**Well thankfully, you don't get to decide for others what is harder.

It depends on your children, how many you have, their ages, if they have any additional needs, your personality, coping levels, family support, type of job and so on.

Being a SAHM was hard. Working full time is hard. For me they both come with different types of hard. It doesn't need to be a competition.**

Quite right I can’t decide what someone else thinks, but I can howl at the thought someone that has the luxury of being a SAHM can think they may have it harder than someone that works full time and has children the same age etc