to think it’s rude to change nappies in front of guests?

[ChloeAdams120]

Hi all,

Went to a friends house today and my daughter needed her nappy changed. I asked her where should I go change her expecting her to say bathroom or her daughters room. She said just change her on the floor. I was a bit taken back and thought it was unfair on everyone else in the room. Thoughts?

Who not how*

@ChloeAdams120 yes next time privacy is a must, for her more than anyone else! Nobody is going to bad an eye or give a confused look when saying you'll use the bathroom.

Bat an eye * I can't press the right keys today apparently!

Be happy that your friend is so relaxed about it.
I once visited an ex collegue’s home with DS and though I used a one time use, disposable changing mat for him and it was only a pee nappy, I had to do it on the floor in the hallway, she didn’t want to let me use the bathroom as she thought it was unhygienic for her. I could sense that she didn’t like it at all that a nappy was changed inside her home & felt really uncomfortable about it.
I wonder why somebody who thinks this way would invite a mum with baby inside her home but maybe it’s just my lack of understanding.

Of course you can walk to another room to wash your hands. But there's a greater chance of you touching a door knob or something.

This is basic hygiene common sense isn't it?

Crispysausage mine were rollers too but I just had my own ritual. I found it easier on the bed, on a big towel (obviously holding feet to stop rolling!).

I think we all have our own ways. I shouldn't be 'shamed' and have people say 'Jesus' because I don't want to put my kid on the floor in someone's house (it is horrible - what if they don't take off their shoes, too? Really? It's nice laid on a cold floor in a kitchen with food around and your bare bottom on show covered in poop while your poor mother tries to scrape it off and not get it under her fingernails and people waft over their heads sipping Prosecco and eating prawns??)

OP I hadn't picked up your DD was 2.5 before. Omg. No of course totally not - awful to change her in the floor with strangers milling around. Good your friend was relaxed but stick to your own instincts. You have as much right as anyone to ask for privacy.

If any friends with babies/kids in nappies come to my house I direct them to a bedroom and give them a changing mat and baby wipes and a plastic bag. Or they have their own.

For potty training, we’ve seen from my daughter’s nursery class that every kid has a different ‘sweet spot’ for potty training and there’s no point trying when you think they should be ready. Wait until you see that they are and ignore anyone who makes you feel bad.
I don’t like it when people change their babies in front of me, and if you are in a group I would guess that there might be at least one parent who feels the same even if the host doesn’t mind. If you go to the bathroom or hall, it’s not like the parents who don’t mind are going to complain that they missed out on the delicate bouquet of your child’s jobs.

@Blondewolf

The huge irony of you saying you shouldn’t be shamed and then proceeding to attempt to shame anyone who has changed their baby on the floor!

We have a lovely thick rug in DS’ nursery we used. And most people have a Travel changing Mat to put on the floor in a pinch. As a guest at someone’s house I certainly wouldn’t use their bed or sofa!

My personal choice was to always change my babies in a bathroom or separate room, as much for their dignity as everyone else's comfort. I didn't feel the need for their genitalia to be out in public in the same way I wouldn't want mine to be....

I hate this, I always change DS on his changing table in his room at home and in appropriate changing facilities/bathrooms when out. People I know with children will change a dirty nappy on the fabric covered foot stool in my living room! I've even said oh there's a changing table in his room you can help yourself to wipes etc or of let me just get your a changing mat. Nope just say oh it's fine. Well it's not I don't want your child's faeces on my footstool when they try and roll away from a nappy change and they've already peed on it when their nappy is off!! Infuriating. Also frankly it stinks.

Disgusting !

Some relative does it often and that really bothers me.
Partner thinks I'm stuck up because of my opinion on this.

Last time, it was a #2, and we even hadn't finish our meal !

No I think she was being polite actually reassuring you that you didn't need to leave the room unless you wanted to. She's the host. If you had specifically wanted privacy you should have gone to the bathroom.

I don’t know why some people do this.

I went to a friend’s daughter’s second birthday party at their apartment once. Said daughter filled her nappy and she promptly changed her on the (carpeted) lounge floor in front of all the guests, including some Dads who clearly didn’t know where to look.

The smell alone should have led her to do it in the bathroom.

Never understood people who don't ask and just crack on with changing a really stinking nappy in the room everyone is sitting in! Have family members that do this, for some reason I don't ask them to do it elsewhere as I don't want to be rude!

@mamatobabybears

As a teacher who taught reception I can tell you that even without developmental delay there are still a lot of kids of 4-5 years who, if judgemental society wasn’t an issue, should really still be wearing nappies or Pull-Ups due to frequent accidents.

2.5 years is perfectly normal to still be in nappies, just as fully trained at 18 months is perfectly normal.

It’s a wider window than people think, and it’s not due to laziness on the part of the parent or the child. Ask a professional.

@CecileMilkins

Sister in law does exactly the same, it was our daughters second birthday and her little one is the same age. We had a room full of guests probably 10-12 people and I noticed her daughters nappy was pretty full so was going to offer to show her where the changing table is and without asking or any hesitation before I ask her she has already undone the tabs on her daughters nappy.

Yup. It’s grim.

So glad to be past the poo nappy stage now!

including some Dads who clearly didn’t know where to look.

Dads? Who would let Dads see the horror that is a child having their nappy changed? Shouldn't the dads have been in the study, drinking brandy and smoking cigars?

I didn’t mean it like that! DH had to change nappies when he was around for our DC because I made it clear it was his turn!

I meant that you could tell some of the Dads were uncomfortable at having to watch a child who was more of a little girl than a baby having her private parts cleaned in front of them. Maybe it was then that had the problem...?

*them

It's the same mentality of having screaming toddlers in coffee shops. If they don't care why should you? unfortunately their child trumps anyone in the vicinity!

I usually go in a different room, however there are a few friends where I'll just crack on with it - but they are the friends where I've changed their kids nappies when babysitting etc so it's a bit different

Fair enough if your host didn't mind. In my house I expect people to go upstairs and would be happy to change their lo in any of the bedrooms, most probably my son's as there is a changing table in there. My cousin once tried to change her kid on my sofa, I promptly told her that I don't change nappies downstairs and that she could do so in any of the rooms upstairs. At the time there were people eating in the same room and I thought it was unpleasant.