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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is batshit in the extreme?

181 replies

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 10/03/2020 12:30

My son is 9 now, me and sister in law were pregnant at the same time although I was due a couple of months before her. She never said it to my face but she was furious that I'd gotten pregnant before she had, it meant that I would give the in laws their first grandchild and she wouldn't. Anyway, as I was nearing my due date she used to say stuff like "If my DD was born now she'd be the eldest instead." (Bearing in mind that she was due two months after me!) On a few occasions she actually said she wished her DD would be born early and she would hint that her consultant said he needed to do an early Csection Shock The babies ended up being born in their intended months, mine being first.

Anyway fast forward a few years and they moved away to the opposite end of the country and we hardly see them anymore. Recently, DN came up for a visit and her and my DS got talking about their birthdays and their ages and who was the oldest etc. They got into an argument because DN was insistent that her birthday was.... three months earlier than it actually is. DN came and asked us when her birthday is (she was at our house at the time) and we told her when it was, her real birthday, we showed her on the calendar. And she refused to believe us, she kept saying "So my mum's been lying to me my whole life about when my birthday is? My birthday is not 'X' but actually 'Y'??" We got her to ask MIL when her birthday was and MIL was like "Errm, it's , why?" And DN just kept saying "So my mum's lied to me this whole time?"

What the hell?! Who does that??

OP posts:
MrsAJ27 · 10/03/2020 18:05

This has got to be one of the strangest things I have read on mumsnet...how bizarre.

I feel very sorry for your niece, Christ imagine having them as your parents!

Incontinencesucks · 10/03/2020 18:05

What a pair of weirdos. Is this why they went nc and moved?

JRUIN · 10/03/2020 18:06

This makes absolutely no sense. The in-laws know the truth, so what would the point of lying to their DD anyway? And what about the father in all this? Is he completely insane too?

Vanhi · 10/03/2020 18:43

I think people need to stop trying to see this logically. It simply isn't logical to lie to a child like this so there's no point in looking for sensible answers. Rather I think the mother had a very strong emotional need to see her child as the firstborn grandchild and so has created a fantasy that she actually is the firstborn. She's included the child in this fantasy. She hasn't included the grandparents, because they would see through it.

TryingToBeBold · 10/03/2020 18:44

Oh I wish I'd have seen some of the deleted postsGrin
So bizarre though! I feel sorry for DN

cringyminge · 10/03/2020 19:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

JingsMahBucket · 10/03/2020 19:28

@outnumberedmummy you’re welcome. :)

LakieLady · 10/03/2020 19:41

No it's not possible. The registrar office gets sent details of birth from the hospital or midwife. In the area they were born. Nobody can just rock up and make a false entry

Damn, I was just about to make an appointment to register a non-existent baby so I could get a few quid a week in child benefit.

Mind you, being a mother of a new-born at the age of 64 might have rung a few alarm bells ...

HonestlyItsFine · 10/03/2020 19:44

No it's not possible. The registrar office gets sent details of birth from the hospital or midwife. In the area they were born. Nobody can just rock up and make a false entry

Interesting- what data to they get sent? I assume mother and fathers details and Childs sex, date or birth etc? Name can be changed or not yet decided until they are registered, so I assume not name.

Firsttimelottie · 10/03/2020 19:59

Your poor niece!

OchAyeThaNoo · 10/03/2020 20:04

It's my son's birthday today.

He received cards from DH and I, his sisters and SIL and MIL. My mum and stepdad, my sister, and my dad and stepmum didn't send cards.

It would be very easy to just buy 3 cards, pop a tenner in each and write my family's names on. Maybe this is how the strange SIL faked the birthday celebrations? Also it's not like the child has to confirm their birthdate at all at the GP or school. Only the parents do. And I'm pretty sure my three DC haven't seen their birth certificates.

VenusTiger · 10/03/2020 20:15

@Carrieonhappy sorry but, it's granDchild - couldn't help myself

OchAyeThaNoo · 10/03/2020 20:16

For those questioning the possibility of the deception, have any of your children ever seen any official evidence of their birthdays? Class teachers ask the kids when their birthdays are and as far as I know, don't double check what they're told because it's just a silly collage on a classroom wall or something.
When we went abroad the only time I trusted my 12, 9 and 7 yo kids with their passports was the 10 second walk to the border control. And even then I don't think the kids examined their passports.

Ann87 · 10/03/2020 20:27

One of my brothers ( theres 6 of us ) had his birthday two days early for the first three years, wasnt till he started nursery my mum realised she had it wrong 🙈 but this woman sounds batshit crazy tbh x

TroysMammy · 10/03/2020 20:57

JuanSheetIsPlenty eg if child's birthday was on a Saturday she would say it was on the following Tuesday. Then on the Friday would tell the child it was the next day so she'd have in reality less than a week of excitement.

She was a strange one, would take a handful of Celebrations out of a tub someone had brought into work at Christmas to put in her child's Xmas stocking. She wasn't short of a bob or two either.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 10/03/2020 21:01

That’s so bonkers!! Grin

han2020 · 10/03/2020 21:28

If that’s true then that is absolutely batshit! Why do people have such a preoccupation with age? Truly bizarre.

PocketFluff · 10/03/2020 21:57

Class teachers ask the kids when their birthdays are and as far as I know, don't double check what they're told because it's just a silly collage on a classroom wall or something.

It's been a few years since I was in a classroom, but the children's names in my registers were always in birthday order, along with their dates of birth. The children were aware of this order, so they could easily tell you who were the oldest and youngest in a class. Because their DOBs were also there on display and I saw it twice a day, I would always talk about whose birthday was soon or that day etc. I think most primary teachers would as well as birthdays are so important at that age.

VenusTiger · 10/03/2020 23:40

@PocketFluff I honestly don't recall ever showing my son's birth certificate to his school, he's 6 and started in the nursery at age 3, so the parents of OP's niece could've lied to the school as well?

@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens what about SILs parents, are they in on the lie or are they NC too? There will be massive repercussions if the lie lasts out till she's in need of a passport or driving licence so just how did inlaws think this could work? Also, imagine your niece being accused of lying when some day a peer knows of her real birth date - what an awful situation to put your own child in.

GertiMJN · 11/03/2020 00:33

You may not recall it, VenusTiger but you will have had to have provided a birth certificate to the school.

Fieldofgreycorn · 11/03/2020 01:02

Hide your rabbits if sil comes over.

And your children.

eaglejulesk · 11/03/2020 01:11

Your SIL is totally nuts!!!

Binglebong · 11/03/2020 01:45

PocketFluff that's interesting, when I was at school it was always done alphabetically by surname. We are going back to the 90s though so it may have changed!

CuppaZa · 11/03/2020 01:53

That is the craziest shit I have heard of on here. Absolute fucking batshit. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when daughter tells her mum she know she’s been lying about when her birthday is.
Your SIL is nuts, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has damaged her relationship with her DD forever more.

Greenscissors · 11/03/2020 02:24

@Pocketfluff In 15 yrs I've never known a primary register to be in age order, even in a mixed-year class.

I was the oldest girl in my class and the only time I ever remember it being an issue is that it got me picked for being Centre in the netball team, which was bizarre enough!