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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is batshit in the extreme?

181 replies

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 10/03/2020 12:30

My son is 9 now, me and sister in law were pregnant at the same time although I was due a couple of months before her. She never said it to my face but she was furious that I'd gotten pregnant before she had, it meant that I would give the in laws their first grandchild and she wouldn't. Anyway, as I was nearing my due date she used to say stuff like "If my DD was born now she'd be the eldest instead." (Bearing in mind that she was due two months after me!) On a few occasions she actually said she wished her DD would be born early and she would hint that her consultant said he needed to do an early Csection Shock The babies ended up being born in their intended months, mine being first.

Anyway fast forward a few years and they moved away to the opposite end of the country and we hardly see them anymore. Recently, DN came up for a visit and her and my DS got talking about their birthdays and their ages and who was the oldest etc. They got into an argument because DN was insistent that her birthday was.... three months earlier than it actually is. DN came and asked us when her birthday is (she was at our house at the time) and we told her when it was, her real birthday, we showed her on the calendar. And she refused to believe us, she kept saying "So my mum's been lying to me my whole life about when my birthday is? My birthday is not 'X' but actually 'Y'??" We got her to ask MIL when her birthday was and MIL was like "Errm, it's , why?" And DN just kept saying "So my mum's lied to me this whole time?"

What the hell?! Who does that??

OP posts:
Mittens030869 · 10/03/2020 14:45

Well definitely bizarre, and ii think your SIL sounds as if she must have MH issues for her to be so hung up on having the kudos of producing the first grandchild. Your poor niece.

EverythingChanges321 · 10/03/2020 14:46

My 78yr old sister lied about her wedding date because she got married after her DD was born and she/my parents (?) was ashamed. I can understand that times were different back in the 60’s but why not come clean now? The DD is now in her 50’s and still doesn’t know despite her parents celebrating the silver and golden wedding anniversaries on the wrong date.
I’m quite a bit younger and closer in age to DN than my sister. I’m sure my DN will find out eventually, But maybe not until they’re dead?

It just seems a bit odd to keep the lie going when surely no-one cares about having children outside of wedlock these days?

FlamingoAndJohn · 10/03/2020 14:47

But surely school, brownies, distant aunt etc would have made mention of it or celebrated on the correct day.

In fact, as aunty, did you not send DN a card or present on the correct day in the past? What happened to them?

SarahInAccounts · 10/03/2020 14:47

Well said, MN. Maybe ban a few troll hunters from posting to concentrate their minds in the rules of the site.

HollowTalk · 10/03/2020 14:54

Did your SIL have contact with the PILs over this time, OP?

timetest · 10/03/2020 14:54

Just bonkers.

neddle · 10/03/2020 14:55

@Deanetta
The registrar has a list on their computer of births in the area and they match the details with what you tell them.
When I went to register my 3rd child, he wasn’t on the list and they got very confused. I had to go back a week later once they’d had a chance to contact the GRO in London.
Turns out that as he was a home birth and we live 50yds from the borough border, the midwives has put him on the wrong list.
Made sure with the next ones that the midwives knew which list to use.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 10/03/2020 15:03

They've also said since that his children from his new relationship are real because he married the mum

Grin well my ss was told by his mother that my dc (with his Dad) are not his half siblings because it only counts if it's the mother having other children, it doesn't count if the Dad goes on to have other children. Ok then. Crazy people in this world.

TheReluctantCountess · 10/03/2020 15:05

No way.

Apolloanddaphne · 10/03/2020 15:09

How very odd. Did your DN not wonder why everyone sent birthday cards a few months late every year?

whiskeylullaby2 · 10/03/2020 15:19

How odd! Did MIL know that they celebrated birthday early?

tiggerkid · 10/03/2020 15:21

Never heard of anything like that before!

Original poster
AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 10/03/2020 15:23

They moved away when DN was only 4, too young to understand dates. And they went no contact too, they've only just been back in touch last year. Up until then, no-one had any contact details for them or knew where they'd moved to.

DN's real birthday falls during summer holidays so the teachers wouldn't be able to say happy birthday. BIL is just as batshit to be honest so it doesn't surprise any of us that he went along with it. MIL won't say anything to them so as not to 'rock the boat' and have them take DN away from her again and BIL/SIL don't speak to anyone in the family except MIL.

Yes, it's a very odd situation but if I said much more I would out myself to anyone who knows.

OP posts:
Original poster
AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 10/03/2020 15:25

Thanks @Ellisandra I was trying to make it less identifying Hmm

OP posts:
Connie222 · 10/03/2020 15:32

@Ellisandra if you have recognised OP, that was bit of a twatty thing to do.

I regularly change details about my dc or situation, just little tweaks like age incase I am recognised. I think a lot of people do the same. It’s not lying, it’s part of protecting yourself online.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 10/03/2020 15:32

DN's real birthday falls during summer holidays so the teachers wouldn't be able to say happy birthday.

So her fake birthday will have been during term time and she will have been in school telling her friends and teachers that it was her birthday and talking about her presents. I’m assuming she has never been allowed to have a birthday party?

Original poster
AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 10/03/2020 15:37

I don't know Juan, like I said they've only been back in contact since last year and we didn't think to quiz DN in so much detail, we were just so flabbergasted about the whole thing!

OP posts:
tillytoodles1 · 10/03/2020 15:52

My daughter was eight weeks old when my brother married a girl with a daughter who was four. She insistes her daughter is the first grandchild as she's older, I say mine is as they weren't married until after mine was born. Who's right?

AdoptedBumpkin · 10/03/2020 15:56

Nutcase. Seems like she cares more about being the top dog than her DD.

JingsMahBucket · 10/03/2020 15:56

Hoe. Lee. Shit. Your SIL is truly batshit crazy @AintNobodyHereButUsChickens. Can you imagine? Does anybody know if social services would have a field day with that household or would they just shrug and move onto the next case that's more serious? WOW.

ShirleyPhallus · 10/03/2020 15:57

Wowzers

JingsMahBucket · 10/03/2020 15:57

@tillytoodles1 you are going by blood relations.

Pinkyyy · 10/03/2020 16:04

She's absolutely mad

Pinkyyy · 10/03/2020 16:05

@Ellisandra why are you trying to out the OP?

ColaFreezePop · 10/03/2020 16:06

All those who registered their baby without a letter from the hospital, they first rely on you telling the truth as you can be prosecuted for delibrately registering a child with false information. A drug addict and a partner where prosecuted last year for this.

Secondly they now do a check on a computer. I had to turn up with ID, my passport, and they checked on the computer system that my name matched a mother who have birth to a child of a particular sex on a particular day.

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