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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is batshit in the extreme?

181 replies

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 10/03/2020 12:30

My son is 9 now, me and sister in law were pregnant at the same time although I was due a couple of months before her. She never said it to my face but she was furious that I'd gotten pregnant before she had, it meant that I would give the in laws their first grandchild and she wouldn't. Anyway, as I was nearing my due date she used to say stuff like "If my DD was born now she'd be the eldest instead." (Bearing in mind that she was due two months after me!) On a few occasions she actually said she wished her DD would be born early and she would hint that her consultant said he needed to do an early Csection Shock The babies ended up being born in their intended months, mine being first.

Anyway fast forward a few years and they moved away to the opposite end of the country and we hardly see them anymore. Recently, DN came up for a visit and her and my DS got talking about their birthdays and their ages and who was the oldest etc. They got into an argument because DN was insistent that her birthday was.... three months earlier than it actually is. DN came and asked us when her birthday is (she was at our house at the time) and we told her when it was, her real birthday, we showed her on the calendar. And she refused to believe us, she kept saying "So my mum's been lying to me my whole life about when my birthday is? My birthday is not 'X' but actually 'Y'??" We got her to ask MIL when her birthday was and MIL was like "Errm, it's , why?" And DN just kept saying "So my mum's lied to me this whole time?"

What the hell?! Who does that??

OP posts:
gamerchick · 10/03/2020 16:07

I have no idea if this is true or not, but I was shocked when I went to register my daughter's birth that I was asked for NO verification of anything. All the information was just taken from me by the registrar.. I could even have made an appointment to register an entirely fictitious baby. I had assumed that I would need some kind of documentation from the hospital.. but nothing. Therefore it's perfectly possible that someone could register a child with the wrong date of birth

No it's not possible. The registrar office gets sent details of birth from the hospital or midwife. In the area they were born. Nobody can just rock up and make a false entry.

ColaFreezePop · 10/03/2020 16:08

OP if the child believed you and her grandmother then you should check with her parents aren't doing more batshit things.

LovePoppy · 10/03/2020 16:08

That poor kid

Lllot5 · 10/03/2020 16:11

I well remember all the drama when I had the first grandson. We were treated like film stars.
This is another level. What’s the point of being the first grandchild of people they weren’t seeing? To what end? For what benefit? Don’t suppose there is a big inheritance is there?

DailyKegelReminder · 10/03/2020 16:20

Yeah shes off her head. Poor Kid though. That's some Maury shit.

IrisAtwood · 10/03/2020 16:28

I had a student who was applying to study medicine. Only when it came down to official documentation it turned out that he was a year younger than he had been told his entire life!

Apparently his mother wanted him to go to school earlier in one of the African countries before they moved here.

PrincessBuggerPants · 10/03/2020 16:30

I had to bring my baby's Red Book to register the birth when I registered him a little over a year ago. Which had his birthday in it!

AnneOfCloves · 10/03/2020 16:32

Oh good lord this is demented.

PrincessBuggerPants · 10/03/2020 16:35

Also, some people are very, very funny about age, and who is oldest etc. I once had a friend who ditched me and other mutual friends upon starting secondary school in order to only be friends with people who were born in the same year as her i.e. 1983 not 1984, rather than people who were born in the same school year as her (September 83 - August 84).

She had a September birthday, was one of the oldest in the year and honestly couldn't stand anybody not knowing about it. It was really, quite odd.

Vanhi · 10/03/2020 16:35

You say you lived near each other for a few years before they moved away, so presumably you celebrated DN's birthday each of those years? And then sent Birthday card/presents after they moved away?

When I was small I had no idea what day of the week it was most of the time, let alone the date. I don't think I was even that much aware of the passing of the seasons because when you're 4, the last summer was 1/4 of a lifetime away. It probably wasn't until I was about 7 or 8 that I became more aware of these things. I could parrot the date of my birthday but I really wouldn't have noticed if someone had moved it whilst I was barely more than a toddler.

So it makes sense to me that SIL has been caught out now, when the child is old enough to understand these things and the family have made contact again.

PatchworkMonkey · 10/03/2020 16:36

Makes no sense at all. Totally bizarre. She's 9 and she's going to be so upset and confused.

Iooselipssinkships · 10/03/2020 16:43

I know MIL doesn't want to confront anyone about it but surely niece is gonna ask her Mum and Dad if it's true anyway?
Could this not constitute as some sort of emotional abuse? It doesn't sit well and I think someone needs to find out why they've done this.

Mummyeyes · 10/03/2020 16:46

Quite batshit but...
When I was six I was in school in my new class, first day of term, September. Teacher got out the birthday cake and called me up. The whole class sang happy birthday. I was frozen with embarrassment. The teacher asked about presents and parties and I managed to explain my birthday was in December. She didn't believe me at first. Then she twigged that the head who was a friend of my dad had scribbled a bit illegible so that oops my pita self could start school and give my mum time to breathe.

DrierThanANunsNasty · 10/03/2020 16:47

Well this is utterly batshit. I wonder what else that poor kid gets lied to about Confused

sixsquidswimming · 10/03/2020 16:52

I can't see how this can possibly be true, when the birth was registered and DN had the vaccinations etc they'd have been able to tell the age was wildly incorrect. Somebody is lying to you OP.

Pinkyyy · 10/03/2020 16:53

Oh also she's going to go absolutely fucking mental when she finds out you've (as in your family) told her about her real birthday.

Fluffycloudland77 · 10/03/2020 16:54

Well it’s batshit but highly entertaining nonetheless.

In my mind they both have professional responsible jobs.

Devlesko · 10/03/2020 17:12

Why are people being horrible, it's totally believable.
The OP only knew the niece for 3 years, a 3 year old didn't going to remember when their birthday is, especially if the mother kept correcting her to a different month.
It would be easy to convince the child that everyone had the wrong date, and that even though the mum had told them they still did it etc.

The woman sounds bat shit crazy, but some people just are.

MashedSpud · 10/03/2020 17:14

Hide your rabbits if sil comes over.

Deanetta · 10/03/2020 17:15

The registrar has a list on their computer of births in the area and they match the details with what you tell them.

That makes far more sense and gives me a sense of relief to be honest. I did not see her check those details but I guess she could have done so before/afterwards?

imadragonass · 10/03/2020 17:22

This reminds me of my sister. She's absolutely batshit and generally not a very nice person.

I remember thinking her response to my miscarriage was really strange. Ignored it and put it down to some people finding miscarriage a tricky subject to navigate but nope turns out she was raging and later (minutes before my hospital admission) aggressively confronted me about why I was even trying to get pregnant as upon her previous probing I said I wasn't trying for a while (I was but didn't feel the need to advertise ttc with my husband) so she assumed she would be able to give the first grandchild to our parents. Shock

Unsurprisingly I'm nc with her!

outnumberedmummy · 10/03/2020 17:24

How has that happened? Did her grandparents not call her on her birthday? Send presents?

JingsMahBucket · 10/03/2020 17:29

@outnumberedmummy read the updates. The SIL & BIL have been no contact for the past five or so years. They’ve only reestablished contact in the last year. They’ve been lying to their child during that gap in familial contact. Most three or four year olds would have no concept of time so the child wouldn’t have noticed a birthdate change when the parents initially went NC.

outnumberedmummy · 10/03/2020 17:34

Sorry didn’t see the updates, thank you @JingsMahBucket

PanicAndRun · 10/03/2020 17:55

Tbh I don't find this amusing or entertaining.

Someone who lies like that to her kid and goes to certain lengths to maintain that lie , is concerning. There's something seriously wrong with both parents and I doubt her birthday is the only thing that shows it.