To ask how the hell do I get my year 7 son to do his homework

[littleblackdress04]

It’s literally driving me INSANE! He’ll do every single thing possible not to do it 😫 He just can’t seem to sit down and concentrate (and there are no additional needs) - and then we have a total meltdown as he leaves it too late.

We have a homework board in his room with deadlines, we help him too. He’s just been crying and shouting & refusing to do it.

Aibu to ask for your tips? It ends up with me losing it out of frustration. He works hard in school but homework is like pulling teeth - it’s so painful 😫

I would not help him at all. It is his responsibility, not yours. I think learning to manage deadlines is the most important aspect of homework.

I’m surprised at the number of people who would leave a fairly young child to fail because they care bothered to impose appropriate learning behaviours.

I’m surprised at the number of people who would leave a fairly young child to fail because they care bothered to impose appropriate learning behaviours.

I'm not - far easier for parents to abdicate responsibility to the school and then blame the school when little Jimmy struggles to get his grade 4s and has to do re-takes. Never their own responsibility is it??

I don’t Think an 11 year old will ‘fail’ if they don’t do homework
They’ll attend a few detentions and learn from it

I don’t Think an 11 year old will ‘fail’ if they don’t do homework
They’ll attend a few detentions and learn from it

Best way to damn a child; low expectations and abdication of parental responsibility. So sad for a child whose left to fend for themselves at eleven.

I’m surprised at the number of people who would leave a fairly young child to fail because they care bothered to impose appropriate learning behaviours

I did not nag DC1 about his attitude to homework (i.e he didn't do any) when he was at prep school in Y7, because I thought it was not a hill worth dying on. He got 10 As at GCSE, 4 As at A level, and is now at Oxford.

I realise this is an 'only on Mumsnet' comment. But it's true all the same.

I do think it’s an age thing
DC used to be very diligent
And is at an age when all he wants is bloody screen time . I’ll push and push but for the sake of my sanity I have to back off sometimes

I really hope this changes

Hi OP

My son was exactly like this and he's now 15 and does all his homework without asking since primary school . One of the issues ive found is that they leave it to the last minute, not realising that the mental load in them gets bigger the closer they get to the deadline. They then avoid it more having built the tasks up in their head to be bigger than it needs to be.
This is why I think the blow ups happen.

I definitely don't think you should force him to do it, as it damages your relationship plus it upsets him needlessly. As others say let him feel the consequences/shame when he has no homework to hand in.

What I found useful was saying "the teacher wouldn't give you work they thought you couldn't complete so it won't be hard and I'm always around if you need to talk something through it need a little help" and encouraging him to "get it out of the way ASAP" so it doesn't sit on his shoulders for the whole week.

Now he's in secondary school and has home tutoring, he always completes the homework as soon as it's set so he doesn't have to think about it.

I used to say to my dd, that's fine, you don't have to do it, as long as you're happy to explain to your teacher why you haven't done it. It did the trick every time!

Don't force him. If he doesn't want to do it, it's his choice. He'll have to face the consequences (if there are any) when he gets to school