To ask how the hell do I get my year 7 son to do his homework

[littleblackdress04]

It’s literally driving me INSANE! He’ll do every single thing possible not to do it 😫 He just can’t seem to sit down and concentrate (and there are no additional needs) - and then we have a total meltdown as he leaves it too late.

We have a homework board in his room with deadlines, we help him too. He’s just been crying and shouting & refusing to do it.

Aibu to ask for your tips? It ends up with me losing it out of frustration. He works hard in school but homework is like pulling teeth - it’s so painful 😫

Another one here who would 1. See of there is a homework club at school and 2. Don't push it and let him find out the consequences of not doing it. At his age he will probably have to do it in a 'break detention' or at the school homework club if they do have one. It's better to learn consequences now so he can start to realise himself of the need to be organised

Maybe let him not do it and get into trouble ? Same this end
My year 7 has 2 due in tomorrow
Have detention son , have It

Sorry OP but you need to some discipline and some respect. Doesn’t sound like their is any here.

You’re the adult and they’re the child

If you say for them to do something, they do it, whether they want to or not.

Don’t molly-coddle (eg. trying to make the whatever task it is “more fun” or reward them for doing it etc). That’s not the right dynamic to create.

They need to learn that they do as their parent says. Regardless. Not for a reward or because you’ve made it fun. Just because they’re the child and they should do as they’re told

Should have added -

It’s easier said than done. Not easy to just provide a solution to this individual problem. It’s more of an overall approach to parenting that leads to that level of respect and discipline

Sounds like my ds. I used to email the tutor and day he hasn't done it and to accept no excuses. He soon got bored of being in isolation

Homework gets done first here before all other fun stuff. Snack first after school then homework. Saturday morning homework. Screens, phones, gaming, TV and going out with friends banned until completion.

Dd1 knows that she will go to lunchtime homework club or after school detention and miss time with her friends if she doesn't get it done. I will not bail her out.

He may be struggling with it, but you are offering support and help, so if he wants to act out and not work with you let him face the consequences.

Let him not do it and get I to trouble at school. By secondary I’d expect them to take responsibility for their own learning and suffer the repercussions if they choose not to do homework etc.

Sounds like excellent parenting @123bananas

Ds got home from school, had something to eat and 30 minutes down time, so homework started at 1700 on the dot, or earlier, if he wanted. He had two hours to get it all done to my entire satisfaction, and the more time he wasted by procrastinating, or having the ab dabs about something, the more time he lost by explaining to his Dad why this wasn't done, thus losing some of his screen time after dinner.

On a Friday night I would look at his planner, and sort what needed to be done when on a calendar. Ds eventually took responsibility for this. It does take time to sort habits out, but it must have worked as he managed to get a First and an MA without me sitting over him.

Check he actually understands what he is being asked to do.
I found out my child had been hiding just how hard they found work.
I can honestly say I had no idea.
Once we talked the blow ups got less.

Stop making him do it and let him face the consequences at school.

My kids are young so haven’t been in this situation, but if this were happening to me I’d make them do it the day it gets given not the day before it’s due.
Should remove the stress factor.
And by make them I mean sit down with them that evening and go through it together and then sit with them while they do it.
I know it’s a PITA but surely it’s better then a full blown melt down on a Saturday evening?

*sunday evening

So what does he do OP instead
Xbox, iPad, phone ??
The WiFi gets switched off in our house. I have a rule - I never make idle threats, son now knows I mean what I say.

We decided it wasn’t worth the hassle of the fight.

Now in Y4 and doing homework voluntarily.

My kids are young so haven’t been in this situation, but if this were happening to me I’d make them do it the day it gets given not the day before it’s due.
Should remove the stress factor.
And by make them I mean sit down with them that evening and go through it together and then sit with them while they do it.
I know it’s a PITA but surely it’s better then a full blown melt down on a Saturday evening?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

PS how do you make a strong, nearly 40kg child sit down when they don't want to?
PPS how do you make a 10 year old do their homework when they refuse to write?

I used to leave mine to it. A couple of detentions and that was it.

Is there a system? So each night on getting in he has a snack then does 60mins. Prioritises what's due soonest. Books away after 60 mins. Free time after that.

What's he doing in science? What's the assignment.
Is he getting in a tizz because he doesn't understand what he has to do or is it just he doesn't want to do it. If he doesn't understand it speak to his teachers they can recommend revision guides etc to help.
Those saying ban technology until he's done hw don't realise that hw is done online

PS how do you make a strong, nearly 40kg child sit down when they don't want to?
PPS how do you make a 10 year old do their homework when they refuse to write?

Offer literally nothing else. No tv. No devices. No toys. No evening meal.

It's a short activity. Few evenings of not getting their way they'll realise it's easier to just sit for 30mins and do some sums.

I agree with mummmy2017
Also I find that late on a Sunday afternoon/evening is too late and it ends up being too much pressure for them and you as well if you are helping him.

They are tired after a weekend and it all becomes one massive pressure-pot.
Ideally first thing Sunday morning - no technology until it is done.
Happy days.

The school where I worked before my retirement had supervised homework after school in the library as one of their sanctions, and our lovely librarian found that some boys actually asked if they could do this voluntarily, before going home to a free evening; they realised that they couldn't trust themselves not to get distracted, which I thought was surprisingly mature. Either that, or they had learned the hard way...…
If you're sure he can really manage, maybe the time has come to let him suffer consequences.
The memory of my own schooldays comes back to me, singing Choral Evensong, and resonating to the collect: " We have left undone those things we ought to have done" (eg prep) "and done those things we ought not to have done" (but that party on Saturday night was a blast), and yes, I had to learn the hard way.

Technology = PS4, Xbox, Switch and mobile phone etc.
PC/Laptop for homework only.

I remind my year 7 daughter but don’t bother with battles. She knows what the repercussions are if she doesn’t do it. Same with not having the right stuff to take in- sometimes they have to learn the hard way, which my daughter has before, and has since made sure she takes the right stuff in.

I don’t mind helping her with anything that I can including organising her time but she’s not holding me responsible if she gets detention or a demerit.

My partners mum has school age children and if they refuse after she says she’ll help them, she just writes in the book (or calls the school) saying DS has not done his homework again after being asked to, please punish accordingly. She does this when DS13 purposely misses the school bus and it works