How much of these things do you consider a treat?

[LajesticVantrashell]

Person A has done/given/bought her DC the following this weekend. Person B thinks this is excessive and that they're all treats which should be given rarely and sporadically.

1. McDonald's
2. Soft play
3. Swimming
4. A new book
5. A small bag of jelly sweets
6. A magazine

This is in between an afternoon in the park, a walk up a hill and some down time playing at home.

How often do your DCs do/have the above?

gosh there's so much misery-competition on these threads

@Alsohuman

They're really expensive if you buy brand new! £5-6 a pop at least! I wouldn't say charity shop books are a treat though, but I don't really like second hand stuff. I would definitely make full use of the local library though!

I know what books cost, God knows I’ve bought enough in my time! I still don’t think they’re treats.

Swimming and books are not treats. Soft play is hell on earth and obviously MacDonalds and sweets need to be occasional and therefore could be classed as treats. Magazines are a bit of a waste of money but again would count it as a weekly/fortnightly treat if that's what my dc was in to.

But it's all relative. If someone did all that with their DC in a weekend, every weekend, I'd pat them on the back and say they were doing a Stirling job!

Ok - I'm person A and yes, family member is person B.

A pp said this would have been considered excessive when they were a child and that resonated with me as we had nothing growing up and so these things were treats (or never done) and I just questioned whether I was being excessive or maybe doing it out of guilt as we both work full time.

Depends on your disposable income. I couldn't justify spending £5 or £6 on a book, when my children were little. Particularly when they could go to the library and get 15 for free every week.

@Reginabambina no need to look so confused. But I'll explain if you like.

Using lasagne vs the happy meal I described as that's what my youngest generally chooses as an example. Nutritionally there is much more salt and slightly more fat in a portion of lasagne made with Dolomio sauce made in the way recommended on the jar. Personally I don't use jar sauces but many do.

That's before you've added any sides, such as garlic bread.

That's what I'm putting in my lasagne if that's ok with you? 

@reluctantbrit yes, lasagne would be much more filling especially if the McDonald's is their main meal of the day, but I haven't noticed any difference in them asking for snacks etc. There's not very long in between meals for kids is there really?

I see the treat element as the experience. The colouring, the toy, the balloons and the magic tables/games. The food isn't what they are looking forward to. Nobody is arguing that McDonald's don't do great marketing obviously they do, that's not a crime or a character flaw if it appeals to a person!

Ffs this thread 😂

1. McDonald's treat occasionally
2. Soft play - weekend treat or school hols or party
3. Swimming - necessary part of life to keep healthy and safe
4. A new book - mine knew that I would always buy them any book they asked for
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - I can't remember them asking
6. A magazine - as long as it was the magazine they wanted and not the crappy free gift

Op is it your partner? Or your mother?

@FurrySlipperBoots both card factory and the works have loads of kids books at £1 each

The book was bought because we had a book day voucher - we do use the library, and the magazine because of the stickers.

Sounds like a great weekend and nothing to worry about, I wouldn't do Mcdonalds every weekend though but the other things, fine.

What family member is important.
If their father, then he's supposed to have a say and you should compromise.
If anyone else, you can tell them that it's none of their business.

Apart from the jelly sweets (DD has a brace) and the softplay (bit old, does ninja warrior-type stuff now) I don't see that list as a treat either, seems fairly standard stuff.

I think the OP is B, by the tone of the post and the mention of a walk up a hill! If we walk up a hill, we quite often call into a cafe for coffee and ice cream (DD's treat) afterwards. Nothing wrong with enjoying the little pleasures of life.

Does McDonalds still have the £1 book offer on the happy meal cartons?

@LajesticVantrashell are you feeling guilty? Because you shouldn't be.

Also who are you having to explain yourself to? If it's your DH then that's a worry because what you describe is fine. If it's your DM then just carry on. She probably is just comparing kids and parents then vs now

@ChicCroissant they do. Another reason to go to McDonald's if you're buying a book 😂😂

OP has said she's person A. Person B wouldn't mention the fresh air would they?

1. McDonald's - rare treat (once a year)
2. Soft play - rare treat (3 or 4 times a year)
3. Swimming - not a treat
4. A new book - a treat, we go to the library normally
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - once a week treat
6. A magazine - once a year treat

DCs are older now but thinking back to primary years;

1. McDonald's - maybe once a month tends to be an on the run after school thing rather than weekends
2. Soft play - Only as a last resort so maybe once every 2 months yes definately a treat.
3. Swimming : Did this every weekend often during the week too. Not a treat
4. A new book very small treat here, frequent maybe not every weekend but often
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - not a big deal at all, would often have something like this.
6. A magazine - A total waste of money very rarely bought by me. Definately a treat.

Would be unusual to do all that in one weekend, especially if the weather was good enough for a walk.

What family member is important.If their father, then he's supposed to have a say and you should compromise

Yes it is important but by fuck would I be compromising on this if my husband told me things like a bag of sweets or a swim was a rare treat. Off he’d fuck to the back end of fuckdom. If there was a financial issue, fine, but if no financial issue then no compromise, no way no how.

For me:

1. McDonald's - it's very rare for us to have McDonalds
2. Soft play - normally only in school hols
3. Swimming - not a treat, but an essential life skill and good physical activity; we go often
4. A new book - not a treat as it's great to encourage reading, although it's also good to encourage library use
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - not a treat if had after a physical activity like swimming
6. A magazine - occasional treat, but largely due to the rubbish content and large amount of plastic tat on the front

They are all things that are relatively routine, I certainly have done all in a weekend in the past

It sounds fine, but expensive altogether, but that is because we are on a budget. I wouldn't be able to afford to do all of that in one weekend and certainly not have weekends like that all the time. But if you can afford it, why not? None of them sound like massive treat things to me, not like a new toy costing £20+ or a visit to a theme park or whatever. Nothing to be sniffed at either, but in my mind a "treat" is something really special and rare.

To be honest I would love to be able to give my DCs a weekend like that! Sounds lovely. I also think if you work full time it does make sense to make the most of the weekends - if you are a SAHM, then you probably make use of things like soft play and swimming during the week, so they aren't such a fun and exciting thing to do at the weekends. We mainly seem to spend our weekends resting and cleaning. I'm hoping when I go back to work to be able to do more things along these lines.

DD would get all of these in a day or a weekend. But she does swimming every Saturday anyway, the magazine and sweets would probably be from one of her grandparents and the McDonalds would be me!

But not every weekend. She's a good kid and gets treats when we feel like it or she's earned them?

All bar a small bag of jelly sweets is a treat as we eat far too many sweets.

1. McDonald's : rarely here, about twice a year or so
2. Soft play: once every 2 months or so. i’m not made of money
3. Swimming: swimming lessons weekly, leisure pool every 2 months ir so. as above, i’m not made of money
4. A new book : frequently, from the charity shop
5. A small bag of jelly sweets: frequently
6. A magazine : every 2-3 months or so

pool is £10 for 1adult + 1 child, softplay between £8 and £17 for 1 adult + 1 child. mcdonalds at least £5, magazine £4, book £2, jellysweets barely anything. All together would be £30 for a weekend (minimum), that is a lit!