How much of these things do you consider a treat?

[LajesticVantrashell]

Person A has done/given/bought her DC the following this weekend. Person B thinks this is excessive and that they're all treats which should be given rarely and sporadically.

1. McDonald's
2. Soft play
3. Swimming
4. A new book
5. A small bag of jelly sweets
6. A magazine

This is in between an afternoon in the park, a walk up a hill and some down time playing at home.

How often do your DCs do/have the above?

1. McDonald's - treat
2. Soft play - activity not a treat
3. Swimming - life skill not a treat
4. A new book - encourages readi N a life skill not a treat
5. A small bag of jelly sweets- treat
6. A magazine - also encourages reading not a treat

How old are dc

Working patterns and disposable income are the main factors though aren’t they. As well as personal preference. This would be a standard weekend for us - wouldn’t take DD to MacDonalds but we nearly always end up eating out once or twice. She’ll usually get an ice cream or cake/biscuit out as well at some point. A magazine or other small thing if we were at the supermarket and she asked. It’s partly because we both work full time so these things aren’t spread out over 7 days iyswim - so we might do swimming and another activity like soft play on one day. We also live in London so have a season ticket for the zoo and go to places like the science museum a lot. And I guess last but not least, I really hate playing games with toys... I’d a million times rather be scaling rope nets at soft play than be sitting down with fucking marble run ( the marbles never run... drives me nuts!!)

It's all relative. Depends on lifestyle. For us they're not 'treats' as such, as in rare occurrences, but things we all enjoy regularly. Let the sneerers sneer, it doesn't change anything!

DS only 18 months so..
McDonalds: if he likes it I plan on once every half term
Soft play: an activity in my mind. Though ours is 5 mins away and we have membership, so we have been twice this weekend
Swimming: an activity

Books: I buy him a new book probably twice a month tho would prefer to use the library when he is older
Sweets: I guess a weekly treat (none yet for DS)
Magazine: an occasional treat.

Maccies, jelly babies and magazine are treats imo

1. McDonald's - occasional treat. Usually when we’re travelling somewhere and need a bite to eat on-route.

1. Soft play - occasional treat.

1. Swimming - unless it’s a regular swimming lesson session, occasional treat.

1. A new book - occasional treat. I do take the DC to the library regularly, so they regularly have new things to read, but getting actual brand new books to keep is an occasional thing.

1. A small bag of jelly sweets - treat again, but it’s one they get more often than the other things on the list because it’s cheaper.

1. A magazine - an occasional treat again and a complete waste of money. Very rare here, as the DC have a history of ignoring the contents of the magazine in favour of the plastic tat stuck on the front of the magazine.

1, 2, 3, and 4 are simply too expensive to do on a regular weekly basis.

1. McDonald's

About once a month or a little more, maybe 15 times in a year.

1. Soft play

A couple of times a year with me (cos I hate it!) but more if they are invited to parties at them.

1. Swimming

They don't like it unless we're on holiday as our local pools are boring rectangle ones, so it's not a treat.

1. A new book

Don't really buy new books but buy 2nd hand ones fron charity shops or amazon most months.

1. A small bag of jelly sweets

At least once a week.

1. A magazine

Never, or maybe in their stockings. I think they're a rip off.

Oh gosh! That’s a boring lazy weekend for us! We might just do those things on a rainy Sunday (though probably a yo sushi, nandos or Subway rather than Mac Donald’s) but we would definitely go somewhere better on the Saturday, like a theme park or museum, maybe in to London (we are midlands) we always have a BIG weekend as we both work full time and cherish the time we do have together.

McDonald's - treat
Softplay - normal weekend activity
Swimming - normal weekend activity
New book - not a treat but by and large we use the library instead. People buy DS books all the time though so he has loads.
Sweets - weekend treat
Magazine - treat

1. McDonald's - treat DS hasn't had it yet, he's only fifteen months
2. Soft play - activity not a treat
3. Swimming - not a treat, we pay £28 a month for lessons and that allows DS to use the pool with an accompanying adult for free whenever we like. So not even just an activity, a free activity, as we'd be paying for the lessons regardless.
4. A new book - not a treat, we're not really tight for money and whilst I like to use the library, I love books, our house is full of them and your probably talking about £5/£6
5. A small bag of jelly sweets- treat but not a hugely extravagant one, I'd limit based on sugar content more than anything else
6. A magazine - not a treat, DH reads comic books and gets a few weekly, when DS is older if he wants a comic or magazine subscription we'll happily support that, I'd much rather an hour reading a magazine than TV

*you're

McDonald’s isn’t a treat that’s torture not envy!

Swimming isn’t a treat, it’s excise and healthy.

A book is educational.

Sweets are a treat, as is a magazine.

Soft play is either a reward treat or a rainy day mood pick up treat. Or even a ‘we have a little extra money’ treat.

Also we have subscriptions to Phoenix magazine weekly and whiz pop bang once a month so we always have a magazine on the go. A quality magazine is just as valid reading material as a book.

@thegreenlight Are you fairly young? I ask because we used to do the same. But we have been everywhere a number of times and we are all a bit bored with the same places. We have to go away weekends now to go to new good places.

To be honest it sounds like a standard rainy weekend

In terms of cost - McDonald's was £3, soft play £5.20, swimming £6, book £4, sweets 50p and magazine £4.50

He's 4.

And it was SIL.

1. McDonald's - never
2. Soft play - weekly ish
3. Swimming - weekly lesson from 6 months
4. A new book - around 4/5 per month. I encourage wholeheartedly but still a treat as she loves books and they’re not cheap
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - a small treat, not a big deal but not daily
6. A magazine - monthly subscription to a couple, Nat geo 4 kids and rspb

Sounds like our standard weekend. We do all of these regularly- yes as treats but we treat them often 😊 we go to soft play twice a week as we have two toddlers and it keeps us sane.

Alloutoffucks I work really hard to schedule new things to do every weekend, Safari parks, zoos, castles, national trust, exhibitions, events etc though we are running out so have started going to Disney world every year to compensate! Anyway, kids love to go to the same places sometimes and we are midlands so luckily loads to do. Kids are 2 and 6.

1. McDonald's - treat
2. Soft play - regular activity
3. Swimming - regular activity
4. A new book - not a treat
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - treat
6. A magazine - we have weekly subscriptions that come without any plastic crap

It depends on your budget.
£23.20 on things that are nice is nothing if you have a healthy budget.
For others, £23.30 is a much higher proportion of their family budget and / or they might have 3 children (so you are then looking at £70).

Neither of you are wrong.
When mine were around 4, we didn't have the budget to do that but I certainly don't begrudge people who do have the budget, using it to do nice things with their dc.

However, it really isn't any of your SiL's business and she is out of order to criticise you.

That’s £25 over the weekend.

That’s not so bad for over a whole weekend.

These posts make the average financial situation of mumsnet quite clear - £20-30 per week (so around £100 per month) are easily available for extras.

MacDonalds would be a punishment here. DC can't stand them and neither can I.

I don't really regard any of the others as treats, except maybe the sweets.

@LajesticVantrashell Your sil is jealous. You had a normal weekend and had fun with your dc. She needs to lighten up and have more fun if she thinks those activities need to be done over weeks. Unless she’s really hard up, then I feel bad for her dc.